— Yes well of course when we found out what Leroy was up to it was too late to stop this ahm, naming Dan in the suit by the family of this boy with the music ahm, with the cap pistol that is to say since his test results had put the boy into that class in the first place and of course Dan agrees that…
— Then why the hell wasn’t he in it.
— Yes well I think Vern means…
— I mean the first thing I told you Whiteback, the only real function you’ve got here is custodial. If he was put into that class why was he out sticking people up with a cap pistol?
— Yes well I thought you ahm, with the space problem for this expensive equipment our retarded ahm…
— Whiteback had to set the little retreads up in business over in east seven Vern, we talked about it the last time you…
— No well in fact we had to put them into ahm, out of business that is to say Major we talked about it the last time you were in about that new equipment from your subsiderary for our new ahm, setting up our new home ec center where the kindergartners were ahm, where the kindergarten was…
— Where’d you set them up in business, in the halls? their stuff hanging all over the walls out there…
— Yes well I think Vern means the ahm, the three dimensional paintings and the ahm…
— I mean what looks like a lot of boards with chewing gum stuck on them and painted over.
— Yes well the landscapes that is to say they molded the landscapes in ahm, in gum yes in fact that’s all from the adult hobby show isn’t it Dan I think Dan’s wife worked with the art therapy group for ahm, for arthritics yes even the typewriter portraits received a good deal of ahm, I’m sure if Vern wanted to know more about it Dan your wife…
— What I want to know more about Whiteback is the kindergarten. Where is it.
— Yes well of course when all this latest equipment from Major Hyde’s subsiderary made it necessary to ahm, made it possible that is to say to set up our new home ec center…
— You put the kindergarten out of business too, is that it?
— Yes but of course since kindergarten had been held in ahm, where first grade was scheduled before we ran into problems spacewise with ahm, schedulewise that is to say with the ahm…
— Just wait a minute Whiteback, before Vern leads you down the garden path any further I want to know what you’re getting at Vern. I’ve spent a hell of a lot of my company’s time trying to let these youngsters in on the benefits of the latest in educational technology in fact I just had an urgent call from my office and I ought to be there now but I stopped in to see Whiteback on another, on a curriculum matter but I’ll tell you one thing, when I get up and lay my company’s name on the line…
— I think he’s getting ready to tell us what America’s all about Whiteback, all I want to know is whether he’s rim your first grade out of business too.
— Yes well I think what Mister Hyde meant Vern was ahm, what Vern means Major is of course in terms of the ongoing situation spacewise that is to say we thought Dan might be able to revise some of his testing ahm, testing procedures for the parents of some of our, some of the first graders themselves that is to say whose parents seem to feel quite strongly about the elimination of ahm, finding a place for them among our little second graders that is to…
— Wait Whiteback just wait a minute, I just want to say one thing Vern…
— That would be a blessed relief, Major.
— I’m getting sick and tired of hearing everything I try to do here twisted around to sound like I’m just doing it for my company as though there’s something wrong with company loyalty I just want to make one thing clear Vern, I’m proud of my company loyalty I just want to make that perfectly clear, I’m proud of it. Look around all you see’s a bunch of unwashed kids that don’t know what loyalty is because they’ve never had anything to be loyal to they never will, sewing the flag on the seat of their pants the way everything sacred’s breaking down the only place left for loyalty if you’ve got any’s the company that’s paying your way, when my company says jump I jump! and when I come in here and lay their name on the line by lining up this equipment to set up your new home ec center at no cost to the district it sounds to me like you’re just taking Whiteback’s little space problems here and twisting them into an attack on the whole situation equipmentwise like this Citizens Union bunch and the rest of these blacks and radicals who try to head me off at the pass every time I see a chance to score for these youngsters and you take Dan here, all this expensive teaching equipment he…
— Yes well of course that’s what the Citizens Union has been ahm, the taxpayers’ reaction to putting equipment like that out in the cold when we’ve already spent ahm, expended substantial sums on it seemed to be ahm, it seemed to be too late to keep the whole thing from keeping ahm from coming down on Dan’s head that is to say. Of course the newspaper speculation that he’s been getting rebates on the equipment was hardly yes one look at you Dan and anyone would know if there was any truth in it you wouldn’t go around looking like ahm, of course Dan agrees the only practical thing to do is to submit his resignation yes in fact I understand he thinks he may have found an attractive opening in industry and of…
— What do you mean leaving us Dan’s leaving us? Dan? You’re leaving us?
— Yes well Vern felt ahm, Dan that is to say Dan feels it might help clear the air before we submit this austerity budget I had a copy right ahm yes that’s what you’re looking at there Vern?
— Yes that’s what I’m looking at there, books the first thing to go of course?
— Yes well I think books are always ahm, as Vern says the first thing to go in an austerity budget but of course…
— But of course thirty-two thousand for blacktopping the parking lot is still in.
— Yes well Mister ahm, I think Parentucelli’s appeal to the parents about scraped knees in the old gravel lot was…
— And of course he’s already gone ahead and blacktopped it anyhow, the way he blacktopped two acres of lawn over at my place.
— Yes well since his equipment was nearby when he finished up Burgoyne ahm, yes Summer Street it’s called now isn’t it and of course his generous…
— I’ll talk about that one in court. Still got him in here replacing your front door lintel for another three thousand, you expect your Citizens Union to swallow that?
— Yes well in fact they were the ones who ahm, they seem to have finally discovered that those Greek letters make no sense at all and since there’s already been some agitation to ahm, to replace Mister Gibbs of course when they found out it was his idea to make it look like a quotation from Herkahm, yes from the classics that is to say simply by adding curlicues to the letters in that motto his friend Schepperman gave us which sounded ahm, sounded all right at the time of course until we found out it was communist and the whole…
— Listen Whiteback I want him out of here, while you’re on it I want that, that son of a bitch out of here if you think he’s not behind every crazy dangerous subversive Vern do you know him? This, this drunken smartmouth drunk…
— Drinks scotch doesn’t he? Matter of fact I met him recently in that snug harbor around the corner from the Post Office and he pressed a book on me called The Rise of the Meritocracy, great ideas in it Major I’d pass it along if I thought you could read. Pay these kids salaries instead of giving them grades and they might learn what America’s all about.