She looked there, snatched the robe over the dark circled crest peering from the tear in it — honestly! It’s not funny Jack you’re not funny! and past him she pulled the collar of it suddenly to her eyes.
There was no sound but running water. Back on the sofa he reached down and scratched, brought up the ankle to examine it as though for signs of life, tore open the paper bag from the table and the box in it for a cough drop gone with a heavy crunch of teeth as he reached for that handwriting arabesque and Flaw in Nature’s Symmetry? crushed in his hand, opening and closing on the wad of them getting over for the phone, dialing, and the wad went flung to the top of a drapery. — Tom…? Yes it is listen what the hell is going on, I just called your… To me? no what do you mean nothing’s happened to me, I’m… Won the double yes called you that night haven’t been able to since, I’ve been… No I know it God damn it I’m sorry Tom listen buy you a shirt, buy you a new suitcase and fifty shirts I won the… What Schepperman? you’ve found him…? no I told you I haven’t had a chance to… no I know it but God damn it look Schramm now it’s Schepperman I… For me what do you mean for me what made you think I’d… What and the school told you I wasn’t there anymore…? God damned right I have yes, found a cleaner greener maiden in a neater sweeter land look has my lawyer called me there? Only number I could… She agreed to it? the visiting rights too? Thank, Christ I… was worth how much? But… Well good God no, broken down old family company I never imagined it was worth… Worst God damned best news I ever had though God damn it it’s worth it, every two weeks rain or shine writing that God damned money order to the Department of Probation so she can bail out that poor son of a bitch out selling textbooks even brings her his laundry, God damned shirts on the line every time I go out there to… What, now? No I’m uptown someplace feels like we’re entertaining in Bloomingdale’s furni… Not Ninety-sixth Street Christ no haven’t been there since the… What do you mean office equipment no, I… Bast? no just trying to write music as far as I… No thought I might use the back there though Schramm’s place, to… No that’s not what I mean no, to work in, try to get back to that book I… no I will yes but wait, that idea for a game I had have you thought of it…? No down there that night idea for a parlor game Tom God damn it you’ve got to remember it before we see somebody else come out with it make a million… No I almost have it and then it slips away all I come up with is Baby Jeeter and the three God damned… To tell me who called…? Didn’t know I gave Stella your number no what did she… no good Christ no just what I’m recovering from Tom got a sweeter cleaner… Tonight? I, no I don’t think so have to call you but I don’t think… for Schepperman yes but I’ll call you… he hung up, turned to raise the wad of torn drawers on a toe and came silent down the hall’s carpeting, shirt parted brushing behind her where she stood in the bedroom door one hand resting white on a warm cheek wet from the shower, and she held up the towel with the other.
— You can use the shower now, here…
— Amy…
— Please… her shoulder turned from his breath’s solicitous warmth, her hand from the solicitation parting his shirt below.
— But Amy…
— Jack can’t you understand! I’m simply, I simply want to go out for some air if you’ll simply get ready, we might look for a suit and that shirt, did you look in these drawers for one?
— Yes all right! He pulled one open, clattered it closed and pulled the next, — good Lord… he reached in, — someone you know?
— What? Oh that’s, no will you just put it back please.
— Lacks sympathy doesn’t she, needs old Lucien in there feeling in…
— Put it back! Honestly Jack I’ve…
— Mustache is a nice touch though… and he turned to watch the shimmers mounting from her steps through the door where he stepped aside for her a moment later carrying a packaged shirt, to return, wet, unfurling it behind her at the glass where she lined an eye. — Sorry, can I get at that drawer?
— You’ve got a shirt in your hand, what…
— Well look at it damn it size ten, shall I put it on? Size ten for a, now what’s the matter…
— Nothing, nothing but why you can’t simply, laundries make mistakes can’t you simply look for another one without…
— Well damn it that’s why I wanted to open the drawer! He clattered it open again, — one more in here, he said tearing away the gay wrapping, holding it up by the collar, — well Christ.
— Jack I can’t…
— Well look at it! Clean starched ironed and ripped right down the God damned front, beautiful transparent packaging Your Shirt Sir! Serviced by Professionals God damn it can’t you see why I, talk about my negative thinking you tell me how tired you get of my negative thinking about everything but every God damned place I look there’s something clean neat packaged serviced by professionals and ripped right down the God damned front…
— Will you hand me that scarf…
— Some black girl three dollars a day standing there steaming shirts in a window watching the commuting trains up from Grand Central the professional son of a bitch who designed the packaging sold a million on his way home to Larchmont she rips the God damned thing down the front folds it wraps it doesn’t even notice…
— I’ll wait for you in the living room… And there, — Jack did you bring that money? It should be in a bank before anything happens to it, wait let me be sure I have my key… and the door snapped closed behind them, finally the white telephone rang as though touched off caught by sunlight crossing the room, leaving it behind in shadow, in darkness, — was that the telephone? I thought I’d left a light on…
— Didn’t know you meant to, I turned it off when we went out. Where shall I put these?
— Just, anywhere. Put them down anywhere.
— Always upsets me to see energy leaking, this place uptown where the hot water…
— Everything upsets you, everything seems to you…
— Only way to keep something real long enough to…
— Is that how you explain that performance you just put on in the elevator at Tripler’s? Jack honestly…
— Going to get a drink, do you want one?
— Yes. In the bedroom, I’ve got to get out of these things…
But when he came rattling ice on the sides of the glasses she was still sitting on the edge of a bed there, looking at her hands. — You didn’t want to talk about it now you want to, Amy?
— Jack whatever made you behave that way? The way that old man was looking at us what possible reason, thank you… she took the glass and sipped, — I could see you in the mirror your mouth hanging open rolling your eyes Jack what, no I’m not angry I just have to know, what makes you do these things I just have to know!
— Amy listen just, just listen… he came down across from her, drank off half his glass, — sometimes I, let me get off this damned jacket… and he was up to pull it off, finished his drink and came down beside her. — I mean sometimes there are situations that just don’t seem to have any solution in their own context do you, do you see what I mean? And the only way to, the only thing to do is step in and change the whole context almost like, sometimes it’s like a whole little play starting in my head Amy you’re so, just so damned elegant wherever we went today everybody so damned deferential, in the bank they would have kissed your feet and that woman in Bergdorf’s and I felt like…
— Jack all that’s just because they know my…
— No but finally in Tripler’s how God damned helpless you feel in an elevator and standing there this summer suit sleeves halfway to my elbows no tie and that shirt and, and look at the trousers and that prosperous old bastard looking us over, he really looked like he was going to speak to you and I just suddenly thought grab a context before he can, looks like the daughter of wealth and breeding let the old bastard in his ninety dollar shoes think she’s taking me shopping, family has an aging halfwit son and she’s taking him out to buy a new, Amy? He came down as abruptly as she’d turned away, — I just do things sometimes that, I’m crazy about you and sometimes I just seem to do the wrong things I God damn it I always do I…