— Oh and you must tell your J R person caskets are not worth getting into the profit lag is simply deadly…
— Yes driver? Will you stop at this corner?
— Now when am I to hear you play.
— I don’t know Mister Brisboy I have to go away for…
— Yes we’re quite near your headquarters right now aren’t we, you don’t have a piano hidden there? I know Mother wrote down the address for me I might pop in later and surprise you!
— No that wouldn’t no the piano is hidden yes it’s not can’t be played no, no I’ll see you at the hotel Mister Bris…
— What fun yes I’m right there in the Towers you know there’s none in my suite but I’ll have them rush one in instantly goodbye, auf Wiedersehen Mister Bast au voir it’s such a joy to be included in the family oh! I’d meant to pay our cabby but Mother sent me off with nothing but fifties…
— No that’s, that’s all right good wait your hat be careful it’s, yes goodbye… driver? Around on Ninety-sixth Street please, over between Third and Second…
— Never saw a real life cowboy where he come from.
— I think he’s, he’s from Florida yes he…
— He from Florida?
— From Florida yes… yes down in the middle of that next block, behind that big limousine that last brick front…
— Where’s all the garbage cans at?
— Yes just pull around and, wait be careful!
— Push that wreck up car right in front of me oweeeee!
— Yes I’d better get out right here, yes and, here thank you, can you push out the box to me, the wind…
— Limousine smash right in the trunk oweeeeee!
— Coño!
— Ya mira que haces coño!
— Coño tienes el freno tu, aye madre…
— Excuse me… he stepped over the glass splintered from framing Z S on the plate, reaching the doorway box and case held high against the wind to pause there for the chauffeur’s uniform in full emergency, in to where that bulb seemed to glow with no more purpose than to keep itself warm.
— Say wait could you help me with an address here?
— What…?
— Got this address supposed to be some God damn corporation offices nothing here but Spies and garbage cans, ever hear of a J R Corporation?
— No but, who told you the…
— Financial page editor told me supposed to interview a Mister Bast, ever heard of him? Almost looks like some wise guy wrote J R Corp in pencil on this mailbox but…
— Oh yes that’s, that must be it yes I didn’t make the connection that must be Mister Rodriguez up on the fifth floor Julio Rodriguez, that must be what he calls his business he…
— Look friend I’m talking about a five hundred million dol, no never mind…
— He makes sandals I think yes in fact if you want to talk to him I think he’s right outside with his friends, their car out there just had an accident…
— Forget it!
— The one with the portable radio… and he made the dim reach of the stairs, down the torn linoleum to add case and box to the heap at the door and lift it on its hinges to the splash and fall of waters, down on one knee sweeping footmarked mail from the doormat’s monogram in over the sill where it was caught in an abrupt splash of suds.
— Bast? is that you man?
— Yes what in…
— I mean look at this, came from the billow rising over the tub where only her face and knees protruded, — like I mean real sudsing power look…
— Yes well be careful it’s getting on the mail what, where did it come from…
— Like all these plastic cups Al found them hanging on the doork-nobs but with these sample boxes attached so he had to bring them in too look out man…! A head emerged from the billow between her knees, — like it’s splashing out…
— But you mean you, he just went around and took them off all the other apartment doors?
— Why not I mean we really need cups but like I dump a box in the tub to throw it away and this happens I mean real sudsing power like the box says man, like I mean do you want to get in?
— Not, not right now… he got his box in safe atop 500 Novelty Rolls 1-Ply White, dragged two more packages under the gushing sink and lifted the door closed, in past the tub with his case to find the sofa’s length occupied by one the shape of a guitar and, on the floor beyond, — what’s this pile of mail back here?
— Like Al just got this postman job for like before the holidays man, I mean he just dumped it there when he came up to sleep off this high.
— Well look it can’t stay here and, and this big yellow box where did…
— Like that’s your golf practice set man, I mean they just delivered it.
— What golf practice I didn’t order any golf prac…
— Man like how does anybody know who orders what here, I mean these presents you get from these businesses like this lamp made of this old parking meter and these deluxe barbeque tools man I never know what’s coming through the door, like right in the middle of I’m getting stoned with this spade cat that comes in to tap your phone and they come to install this Telecopier and like there’s the telephone again, I mean all it does is rings…
He got back past 36 Boxes 200 2-Ply, — wait Al I’ll get it… and he braced a foot, reached up to Round Pkgs QUICK QUAKER to bring the phone down to his unencumbered ear, — hello…? No this is Mister Bast, who… B S who…? Yes well J R himself isn’t here right now no, who…
— Quit splashing man like are you getting in or out.
— Oh B F? Leva? Yes I’m sorry Mister Leva what… what? No I’m sorry I don’t recognize your name Mister Leva what… Erebus Productions? No, what…
— Wait hold still man like I never saw this little wart under here before, does that hurt?
— Yes well I don’t go to the movies very much so…
— Like this little vein looks like it’s going to pop man.
— Oh, oh yes well… yes I heard you yes selling at one sixty-eight but he hasn’t said anything to me ab… that you might be interested in making a deal I’ll tell him Mister… what? Girl? no where…
— Man like how come you never got circumcised?
— Oh you, oh you mean you have a picturephone too…? No no I, I see you up there now yes well goodbye Mister Leva thank…
— Oh wow… a splat of suds ran down 24-One Pint Mazola New Improved.
— Probably yes probably a crossed cable somewhere yes goodbye I’ll tell him to call you goodbye Mis… I don’t know if they can trace crossed cables no, good… No goodbye Mister Leva I can’t hold on another minute no…
— Wait like I need that shirt man what are you hanging it on there for, I mean like that won’t stop it ringing…
— Because the man who just, because other people have picture-phones too and no wait Al look would you mind just not standing on that mail to dry yourself?
— Floor’s like real dirty man.
— I know it but, well look spread out a newspaper or, here… he got across to lift the door open and drag in the monogrammed doormat, — there…
— Like Al brought up his guitar, man.
— Yes I saw it… he got past her for the refrigerator, — wait who put this in here what, stuffed breasts of Cornish hens à la Kiev…
— Like somebody sent it to you man but like it says oven ready your oven’s full of mail so like it says keep refrigerated I mean where do you expect me to put it.
— Yes but right on these stock certificates it’s melting all over them and this look this is the only place I can keep this manuscript paper clean… He crumpled the top sheet and took some from the stack in to open his case on Hoppin’ With Flavor! pausing to take out the list of titles and add scribbled notes from an inside pocket before he spread a fresh manuscript sheet on the top volume of Standard and Poor’s Corporation Records, — damn it! crumpling that abruptly — look these are brand new, look there’s oil all over it…