— Where.
— Out the window, I thought you saw something out the window.
— Just looking out the window Tom. I’m just looking out the God damned window.
— Oh. Did I tell you she’s already complaining about the house up there? Says the refrigerator’s too big things get lost in it the one we had downtown she complained was too small she couldn’t shop ahead but one night I remember when I found some veal gravy she’d put behind the, where are you going…
— Fix something to eat, fix some veal Marengo how does that sound Freddie? Haven’t eaten all day God knows the last time Freddie had any God damned string tangled up here what’s, gum stuck all over his here wait get your sock off how the hell did this get here?
— Somebody jiggling it outside the window there I finally reached out and…
— Tom why the hell did you do that.
— Why did I do it because it was driving me crazy! trying to, to get some work done here I finally…
— No but why did you have to do it Tom, somebody up there only God damned thing keeps them going’s maybe they’ll get that quarter out there why couldn’t you just let them…
— What quarter what are you talking about Jack how can you, fixing chicken Marengo look you’re not even…
— Veal Marengo Tom, veal Marengo.
— All right veal Marengo! You can’t even, how the hell can you fix it the oven’s full of mail there’s no gas anyhow what do you…
— Freeze dried Tom don’t need the stove at all do we Freddie, add hot water got plenty of God damned hot water here just drop this dried up thing in it unfolds into veal Marengos like those God damned Japanese paper flowers got some grape drink too, we can…
— Damn it Jack listen what are you trying to do I mean how real is all this anyhow, they gave you some tests told you to come back tomorrow what…
— Anemia swollen lymph nodes astronomical white count how God damned real do you want it to be! Kills thirty thousand a year chronic and acute models, chronic lets you hang around a year or two tell all your friends goodbye twenty times, mine looks like the God damned sports model get there faster now do you…
— So you’re going to sit here in wet clothes and…
— Going to sit here with Freddie drink this God damned grape drink and eat this God damned veal Marengo aren’t we Freddie, read aloud from Skyscraper Management have a few choruses on the guitar and wait for the God damned telephone to look out there she is…!
— Watch that mail! damn it…
— Yes hello? hello…? No who’s… looking for what…? Look call the company’s public relations agency they can… no what here? No listen… wouldn’t advise it right now no we… No no just a, a bomb scare yes we just had a bomb scare they’re… yes clearing the building right now goodb… sorry can’t wait yes goodbye…
— What was that, see why I took the phone off?
— Christ knows something of Bast’s, school field trip wants to tour company headquarters can’t find it listen Tom how long was this God damned thing off the hook she might have called back and…
— She didn’t call back I just told you that Jack, the only call you had was some lawyer named Coen he said Mrs Angel told him I might know where you were, look while I think of it…
— No but wait did he say what it was about?
— Something about what you did with that stock you had in her father’s company and her husband, he said her husband had had a misadventure look while I…
— What Norman? What happened what did he…
— Just said he’s had a misadventure look while I…
— No but Stella did he say she’d call or anything, or…
— Didn’t ask him I thought she was the last person you wanted to hear from, things you’ve said about her God compared to Marian with the knives out demanding a winner you just ask for it sometimes Jack, you…
— Whole God damned point no you don’t know what Stella’s asking of you, finally realize she’s not asking a God damned thing never expected a God damned thing you end up not asking a God damned thing of yourself that’s what I, this book why it’s going to be so God damned hard to tell…
— I know look while I think of it, has somebody named Gall ever called me here?
— I just, no.
— Young writer I gave him my play to read strange I’ve never heard from him, he really pressed me for a look at it I thought he could read it with a fresh eye sort of this generation point of view he showed up there one day in my office just before I quit, said he was a great admirer of my novel did I ever tell you what that secretary asked me Jack? Girl named Carol she’d just heard I’d written a book she was really wide eyed, first the standard what’s it about how long is it how long did it take you and then do you know what she said? Where are you going…
— Get some grape drink. Like some grape drink Freddie?
— Jack what the hell is this about grape drink haven’t you got some scotch?
— Just grape drink Tom, acquired taste have to get used…
— No look something like this happening and you’re drinking grape drink Jack what do you…
— Like what Tom. Something like what.
— I mean your, what you just said they told you at the hospital what do you think I…
— Just didn’t think you’d heard me.
— What do you mean of course I heard you, why I can’t see you sitting here waiting for the phone drinking grape drink with this hanging over your…
— Because I don’t want to show up full of scotch when she calls can’t you see that! because it’s going to be hard enough to, to tell her this, about this book tell her I’ll never finish it never write it Christ one thing the one God damned thing she ever really thought I…
— Wait what’s that, listen…
— What…
— No I thought I heard something, somebody out there at the door did I bring in those cigarettes?
— Right there under your…
— Yes and Carol I was telling you did I tell you? what she said? She asked me if it was interesting, if my novel was interesting imagine asking a novelist that? if his novel’s interesting?
— Really can’t, Tom. Imagine that Freddie? Asking a nov…
— No it’s strange you know that sense of order you get in an office I almost miss it? that sense of intimacy this girl Carol she’d sit on the edge of my desk God I really was stupid you know? short yellow dress probably why she sat that way look right up wherever I look I, Jack I took David for a walk in the woods yesterday even looking up at a tree that open scar where a branch is gone that long oval shaggy edge like the lips pulled open God even coffee this morning, pouring milk from the carton how it comes out in spurts Jack I’ve got to tell you this I, last night coming back I stopped for a light down on Third a girl came over and, she came up to the car ten dollars a french right there in the car all I had was a twenty she said she, she said I live right in here my sister can change it Jack I gave her the twenty I just gave it to her, sat there waiting I sat there watching the building waiting for her to come out I must have sat there for ten minutes before I, till I finally…
— Really can’t give me this can you Tom.
— What give you what…
— Never mind look, do you want something to eat?
— No now wait give you what I, Jack I just told you something I’d never tell anybody all you can say is…
— I said never mind God damn it do you want…
— No now wait damn it this book is that what you mean this book? this excuse you’ve got now for not writing this book you’ve been…