— and it’s… a hit, a line drive toward third…
and a roar as the light changed, the watch was ripped from his wrist and the car beside him swerved across oncoming traffic, horns sounded around him and the cry — Wake up buddy! from a cab wheeling past as he pitched his car forward with the gasped — I… don’t believe it, over the bridge on a double play and well along the expressway ribbon of filth, battered hubcaps, rusted twists of tailpipe, curls of tire tread before the engine missed once, twice, and he pulled off to the side in the seventh inning stretch, got out, opened the hood, lifted out the air filter and was reaching in to free the butterfly valve when the whole car shook to a wrench of twisting metal. He came round it holding his head where he’d just hit it on the hood straightening up, another tearing wrench and the car’s trunk flapped open. — What the, hell are you doing!
— At’s all right, you here first, you take the front.
— You, what do you…
— You got the front, ain’ that fair? Even gettin the battry just leave me the back, ain’ that fair? I ain’…
— You you crazy son of a bitch you you, you… get out of here!
— What you want to hog it all, got everything in the front can’t just leave me the back?
— Youg, it’s mine, get out of here it’s mine!
— You the meanest shit I ever…
— Youc… come back here you… he advanced on the car pulled up behind as its door slammed, a duplicate of his own but for dents and color — my car, you come back here you son of a bitch look what you did to my car…!
— You just a real mean shit, came back to him from the dented car pulling away, into the stream of traffic.
— You come back here you, you son of, you… He stood there panting, staring, sagged, finally found a wire coathanger in the trunk to secure its twisted lid down and got round to replace the air filter, slammed the hood, the door, pitched back into traffic still muttering — I don’t believe it… when he pulled up at the school in the top of the ninth and down the corridor for a futile try at slamming the hollow core marked Principal behind him.
— No we’re looking in the ahm, come in Major yes the budget that is to say we’re going through the budget right now I don’t see any mention of… no well of course they may be part of the federally subsidized cafeteria lunch program if the freight office says the shipper is the ahm, some branch of government they… No of course that’s why the children are prohibited from bringing their lunch to school in the first place, we can’t… class six J? Yes well we can ask Mrs ahm of course we can’t ask Mrs Joubert no she’s still out on sick… how many? No well look at it again Leroy there can’t be a hundred and sixty-eight thou… from a total shipment of what…? Gross yes that means gross no that’s impossible you’d better go down there and ahm, in terms of the ongoing situation enrollmentwise yes you’d better go down there and ahm, and count them that is to say…
— Hello Hyde, been in a gang fight?
— Now listen Vera, don’t…
— Yes sit down Major you look ahm, Vern just dropped in to excuse me a minute, hello…? Oh for yes the District Superintendent he’s right here yes, Vern…?
— Hello? Who is it…
— Yes well I was just telling Vern we ahm…
— Other phone here Whiteback I’ll get it, hello…?
— And who gave you that information.
— Just Parentucelli, wants to know if Vern wants the blacktop running around to the back of the house.
— No comment right now, no. Tell him all the way around except the breezeway… What…?
— He says everything except the breezeway…
— We’re making a full investigation yes, goodbye. Here I’ll talk to him.
— He hung up, who was that.
— That was the newspaper Whiteback, they had a report on a sitdown strike in your fourth grade.
— Yes well that was ahm, those fourth graders yes Vogel had them making models of ahm, the glue that is to say smelling the glue the little ahm, youngsters some of them went to the nurse’s office and couldn’t stand up so they ahm, sat down that is to say yes I’d better call the paper back and…
— Don’t you dare touch that phone, haven’t you ever learned not to volunteer information to the papers?
— Yes well of course we ahm, community relationswise that is to say Vern you don’t get popular support without the ahm, how did that Flesch woman put it yes without the support of the community of course she had a gift for expressing ideas and my job is ahm…
— Your job Whiteback? look… and where they did a roll of cigar ash bounded down worn folds of tweed and burst on the floor. — Your job is to make the District Superintendent look good, and you’re not making me look good with this thimble theater you’re running here. You’re not doing it by calling up a paper to take a story about a fourth grade sitdown strike away from them with one hand while you’re giving them one about a fourth grade drug trip with the other. And get that damn bear off the screen.
— Yes we use it as sort of ahm, can you reach that knob Major?
— useful to make the distinction between a given concept, the number, and the symbol which represents it, the numeral…
— Downright brilliant, know what he’s talking about?
— Yes well of course this is simply enahm, richment that knob on the left yes, the on off that is to…
— define the number in terms of the equivalence class of ordered pairs of the equivalence classes of ordered pairs…
— Anybody know what he’s talking about?
— Yes well I think what Vern means is ahm, Glancy’s been having some financial difficulties that may have affected his approach to ahm, in terms of educational content that is to…
— That’s not what I meant at all and don’t try to describe what flows through these tubes as educational content, equivalence classes of ordered pairs when I said plumbing I meant plumbing, doesn’t matter who pulls the chain.
— Yes well I’m afraid Major Hyde doesn’t ahm, Vern just dropped in to discuss this next budget referendum Major he thought there might be a few soft spots we could ahm, I just had it yes is that it? that pile right under your…
— This? Report to the police any stranger who tries to join you in your play or offers to take you for a ride or walk. Do not play near public toilets…
— Oh no that’s something the police ahm, like those don’t pick up a stranger matches that were handed out in the vd campaign last year and those junior high girls burned down the ahm, it’s right here somewhere under here if you’ll just move your ahm, I was just looking through it for…
— Glue, per quart, three fifty-nine, masking tape each, two forty-seven, chalk per box, three eighty, ladders, each, thirty-six, toilet paper, per case…
— Remind me to call Gottlieb yes that’s his brother-in-law that is to say but what they do with all that toilet paper, is there anything there about picnic forks? Something Leroy just called about the first part of a shipment of wooden picnic forks…
— Here’s something from Leroy, glass, sixty-nine panes…
— Oh yes well the glass that’s in the budget, that was just sixty-nine panes on the weekend but of course with glass running a dollar a square foot and the unbreakable runs three times that…
— Bulletproof?