Oh God, no. Her stomach roiled and her heart leapt to her throat. “No!” The hoarse cry wrenched from her came out a bare whisper.
You are the freaking Alpha, Karin. Stop them.
She should. She was the only one who could prevent the oncoming crash.
Her brain seemed frozen, as was her body.
Using up all her willpower, she shoved her fear to the back of her mind, ignoring the funny flips in her belly, but she couldn’t stop the memories from flooding her brain. It had taken a wandering jaguar from their neighboring pack entering into their territory to spark a fight. A fight that resulted in nothing but causalities for every family involved. Blood was shed before questions could be asked and afterward, no answers had mattered. And she’d pegged the issue too late—that lack of control over their animal instincts was the primary cause. If only she’d exerted her right as the Alpha’s mate to do something instead of wringing her hands. If only she’d been stronger or braver than what she’d been…
Move.
Her legs refused to obey the command her brain transmitted, but she forced herself to take one step, then another, not stopping until she was a few feet away from the snarling jaguars. Felines who seemed ready to rip each other to shreds and then some.
“Enough.” Her voice came out sharp, clipped, her professional persona taking over. She welcomed it with a vengeance. “Xander, can you please shift back so we can inquire what our visitor is doing here at this time of the day?”
The tempo of their growls increased, neither of them seeming to hear her. Xander might’ve been the best fuck of her life, but damn if she was going to allow him to overrule her commands. If he continued in the same vein, he was going to wish he’d left the pack already.
Xander stepped back, inching closer to her side, his rippling coat brushing against her jeans. She mentally cringed at the mundane contact—a stark reminder of what they’d shared and lost.
Sensing him shifting back, she crossed her arms in front of her chest, giving the other jaguar a pointed look.
If the jaguar chose to attack when they were in their human forms, he’d be breaking their shifter laws and even his pack wouldn’t hesitate to put him down.
A few moments passed in tense silence before the other jaguar shifted, revealing himself to be a prime male. Certainly one old enough to know what he was doing.
“I’m Mason.” He held out his hand, not the least bit bothered by his nakedness.
Xander bristled at her side. She resolutely ignored him and shook the outstretched hand. “Karintha.”
“Pleased to meet you, ma’am.”
“What are you doing here?” Xander’s low growl followed his question.
Mason’s nostrils flared.
“You’re in our pack’s ancestral lands, Mason.” She intervened, throwing Xander a dirty look for taking over the conversation.
“I didn’t intend to trespass, ma’am.”
Xander glared at their intruder, his muscles bunched, his face a mask of controlled fury—totally missing her look.
Resisting the urge to throw up her hands in frustration, she turned back to Mason, giving him a tight smile. “I’m sure you’ve a valid reason…”
Mason looked contrite. “This is where I lost my siblings.” Even Xander couldn’t have missed the pain that crossed the other shifter’s expression. “Being here makes me feel closer to my brothers.”
Karintha’s heart melted, but technically, Mason was still trespassing. “I hope we can have a chat with your Alpha sometime and arrange for you to continue visiting here.”
“That’d be kind of you—” His voice broke and he blinked rapidly. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“Anytime.”
Mason nodded and moved back a few steps before he shifted with ease and took off into the night—or whatever was remaining of her eventful night.
She let out a sigh. Her relief was short-lived when she turned to Xander. The cold from his look could’ve easily frozen the entire Arizonan desert, and the fury radiating off him made her stomach clench—and not in a good way.
She’d faced the same fear, the same roller coaster for the past ten years and she wasn’t going to allow another male to make her cower and make her feel like shit for doing the right thing. Even if it was the same male who’d reminded her that beneath her cool control she was all woman, still capable of feelings, still capable of loving.
Her stomach heaved again with the sudden realization. She’d fallen in love with another chauvinist all over again.
Ignoring the sick sensation swamping her, she stomped back to where his clothes—not that she could imagine the shredded pieces whole—lay and picked up the keys to her vehicle.
“Coming?”
He didn’t reply. How typical.
She might as well have asked the question to an inanimate object. Fine. He could choose to stand here buck-naked for all she cared or he could join her for a ride back home. She didn’t—didn’t want to care regarding what he did after that. She had a clear plan where she could fall into bed and forget the world existed for a few measly hours. After that? She’d deal with that when she woke up—if she got out of bed after a week or so of bawling her eyes out. Her eyes prickled in anticipation.
Great, she thought, marching to her truck, trying to ignore the macho idiot who apparently decided to follow her. His silent footsteps masked his approach, but the heat of his body gave him away. His alluring scent made her shiver, serving as a reminder of how pathetic she’d been. What she’d assumed was the ride of her life had just been him taking her for a ride.
If he still hoped he could worm his way into her bed for the reminder of the night—or day, depending on how one looked at it—he had another thought coming.
Chapter Nine
She’d judged him and found him guilty. Xander didn’t need her to spell out the words. He read her well enough, though he still puzzled over how much of his thoughts were his own and how much he shared hers.
And the latter made him realize she was the one for him more than anything else.
He noticed the faint trembling of her hands as she got into her vehicle. The stiffness with which she held herself spoke volumes. He’d done that to her, pushed her to the brink of shattering her. Her not meeting his eyes added fuel to the fire scorching his gut. He’d screwed up, but he wished he had a chance in hell of explaining his actions before she threw him out. Which she hadn’t. Though her entire stance screamed she wouldn’t mind giving him the boot once they reached her place. She was still taking him to her place.
The gesture gave him hope, but the rage that’d consumed him earlier at the thought of her putting herself in danger without an iota of concern hadn’t dimmed yet.
They reached her house and she didn’t turn back as she went inside, or ask him to come in. He needed to borrow a set of clothes, or so he convinced himself before he pushed the door open and trailed her to her bedroom.
Her expression was wary, not afraid as she’d been at the desert, but he hated the look of fear he’d put on her earlier.
He should leave, follow through with his earlier declaration and show her he could be trusted to keep his word. That was the only way she might come to trust him again after the show he’d put on back there. But he didn’t want to go when everything lay unresolved between them. And before he could convince himself of the foolishness of his actions, he closed the distance between them.
She put out her hand, stopping him with a mere touch. “What do you want?”