This is about whether you are ready. There is a difference."
"You don't think I'm ready." Anakin could hear how wooden his voice sounded.
"I think Ferus is. That does not mean I think he will make a better Jedi. It only means that I think he is ready now."
Ferus had manipulated them. Ferus had somehow made this happen. He had voiced his doubts about Anakin aloud, sometimes in front of his Master, and somehow he had corrupted their opinions of him.
Anakin's fury grew until it was something wild, something he did not know if he could contain. He looked at his Master, and suddenly Obi-Wan was a stranger to him "I can feel your anger," Obi-Wan said. "Take care." He did not want to take care. He wanted to punch something.
"Your focus on who gets to be Master first is only reinforcing the rightness of the Council's decision," Obi-Wan went on. "You're treating this like a contest. You are not emotionally ready to be a Jedi. Decisions like this must be accepted."
"You do not need to quote Jedi teachings," Anakin said through his teeth. "I know them well. Better even than Ferus, though that doesn't seem to make a difference."
Obi-Wan's face was tight. "You need a little time to compose yourself.
We can discuss this further if you like. I'll leave you now."
Obi-Wan turned away. His shoulders were tense. He took a few steps, then relented. He turned back. "I believe in you, Anakin," he said.
Anakin had turned, too, and now kept his back to his Master. He could not answer him. He could only think of Ferus. After a moment, he heard Obi- Wan leave the room.
Ferus had plotted. Ferus had beaten him. Ferus had won.
And now he had to work with him on this mission. He had to help Ferus achieve what he, Anakin, deserved. He imagined Ferus's smug face as he accepted the praise of the Council. As he took his place as a Jedi Knight.
He imagined Ferus as a Knight and himself still a Padawan.
It can't happen that way.
Anakin took his anger and focused it. For a moment, the water from the many fountains around him hung suspended in the air. He used the Force to keep the water frozen in midair, just to prove he could do it. The silence filled his ears. Then he let it fall, all the fountains gushing, trickling, racing once again. The noise seemed enormous now, a torrent. As though he could hear every drop of water hit every pebble.
Anakin felt a surge of power. This was only a part of what he was capable of. Soon they would all know it. He would show them that they had made a serious mistake. He should be the first apprentice to move up to Jedi Knight. He knew it. And soon everyone else would know it, too.
He would make them know it.
Chapter Three
The Jedi assembled in the vast hangar in front of the two Republic cruisers they would take to Korriban. They split up the teams, with Siri and Obi-Wan in one cruiser with their Padawans, Soara and Ry-Gaul and their Padawans in the other. That way, the two best pilots in the group — Anakin and Ry-Gaul — would be in different ships.
Obi-Wan wished it could be otherwise. He didn't think it wise to put Anakin and Ferus together in a small cruiser until Anakin had cooled down.
He had no choice, however; every decision they made from now on could be a crucial one. They had to think every step through. It was entirely possible that they would be attacked on the journey. They couldn't take anything for granted anymore.
While Anakin and Ry-Gaul did a flight check on their vehicles, Obi-Wan studied his fellow Jedi. It had been six years since they had all been together on a mission. The past years had been long and hard, and they all looked more focused, more intent, than they had all those years before when they went to patrol the Galactic Games.
Obi-Wan knew that Tru and Ry-Gaul had been on a series of highly dangerous missions and that Soara and Darra were recently caught in the middle of a fierce interplanetary war. He saw the changes in all the Padawans, how their faces reflected the seriousness of their purpose and the things they had seen. He saw in them the same recognition that he had once faced, as he had come to the end of his years of apprenticeship. You started out as a Padawan thinking you would lead a life of service and adventure, and you pictured your successes to come, not your failures.
Successes could be daydreamed about in a vague way, but failures were more particular. They couldn't be envisioned. With the years you accumulated not only satisfactions but also disappointments and heartbreaking losses.
Imprinted in your memory were things you wished you had not seen. The Jedi path was more complicated than you'd ever dreamed as you polished your lightsaber hilt and yearned to be chosen.
Siri was leaner, if that was possible. Her edge was sharper. Obi-Wan saw less of her humor and more of her frustration.
Ry-Gaul's bleached gray eyes seemed even paler, as if his experiences had leached out the color. Now they were almost white. He spoke even less now. When Obi-Wan had asked him about it, Ry-Gaul had fixed his moon- colored eyes on him and said, "There is less to say."
Soara Antana, oddly, had grown softer, almost tender, with Darra.
Darra herself seemed the same, though the exuberance that danced in her unusual, rust-colored eyes would sometimes shift to a shadowy sadness.
And what of himself? What did his fellow Jedi think of him? He caught sight of his bearded face in the reflection of the windscreen. He was not old. He was younger than Qui-Gon had been when he took him on as a Padawan.
Yet he felt old. In his bones, he felt a strange weariness. It was the concentration of all the effort he placed in vigilance. In watching.
Waiting for something he could not name.
They all felt it. A gathering of the dark side of the Force. They held out their hands, pushing against the darkness, the chaos. They were tired, and they had so much farther to go.
And now, Anakin. He had to count on Anakin's maturity, the integrity of his core. Anakin would forgive him for supporting Ferus. It had been difficult for Obi-Wan himself to admit that Ferus was the best candidate.
Naturally he'd wanted Anakin to be chosen, but something had held him back.
He couldn't have done it if he hadn't felt the times were too perilous for the Jedi to make a mistake.
In time, Anakin would find acceptance. Obi-Wan was confident this was so, because he knew Anakin so well. He knew that Anakin was struggling now, and he knew that he could not help him. He knew Anakin's better side would win.