“Finish?”
“Finish...do the deed. Shoot your load.”
There is a wicked grin on his face, and rubbing his barely-existent beard in an annoying yet smoldering manner, he has me stumbling on my thoughts.
“Let me get this straight, Malone. You’re asking me if I came?”
Sitting cross-legged on the sofa, I feel so juvenile, nodding to suppress the sheer embarrassment.
“I’m curious as to why you’re only asking me this now?”
“Because I just need to know.”
With his arm draped along the back of the sofa, he inches closer, intimidating me with a persistent stare. He doesn’t realize I’m in the prime of the pregnancy, loaded with hormones, ready to pounce and beg him to fuck me because I am so damn horny I can’t even think straight.
“It’s a personal question, and you’re demanding an answer without explaining why you need to know.”
“Cut the bullshit, Jerk. I think we passed personal when you decided to screw me in the alley.”
“You cut the bullshit, Malone. Why you wanna know?”
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt out without thinking, without any emotion.
There. Done.
Phew. I release a breath, finally able to breathe a little.
It’s not just one ball of tumbleweed, but a whole colony that rolls past as the silence falls over the room. I don’t dare look at him, his heavy breathing enough of an indication that he is about to have a stroke.
“Why weren’t you on the fucking Pill, Malone?!” he demands, raising his voice and catching me off guard while jumping off the sofa.
“I was on the fucking Pill! Why would you come inside me and assume that?!”
He is pacing the floor, hat thrown onto the table as he runs his fingers through his hair in utter despair. His eyes are wild with panic, and he looks ready to smash the first thing in sight. I’m right; he does it moments later and the porcelain lucky elephant that Gemma gave me is splattered on the floor.
Okay, don’t go ape shit on him. The elephant is replaceable. Have some compassion for the Jerk.
“I put a fucking rubber on! You pulled it off. Then we used another one!”
“What do you want me to say? Scientifically we beat the odds and I don’t know what the fuck happened or how!” I yell back in frustration.
“How could this happen then? And how can you assume it’s mine? Who knows who you were doing? Marcus…it’s got to belong to Marcus.”
He didn’t just go there.
Yep, he did.
Unleash the hounds.
Quick to my feet, I’m eye-to-eye with him, matching his stance. Even though he towers over me while I’m barefoot, he doesn’t intimidate me one bit.
“I am NOT that person. Blood tests and ultrasounds confirmed how far along I am. I can’t even…you know what?” I say, barely able to control my anger. “You can just walk away now. Forget I told you this. You’re young, got your whole life ahead of you. I can raise this baby. I don’t need someone in my life thinking I’m a fucking whore!”
“I didn’t…look, I’m sorry. It’s just—”
“Too late for apologies, Jerk.”
Silence, again.
This time, he sits back on the sofa and bends over with his face between his legs. His arms are resting on his knees, but they appear to be shaking. Neither of us saying a word, the silence continues as the clock ticks over.
“I’m engaged,” he mumbles.
“Yes, you are. I don’t want anything from you.”
“I love Eloise.”
Still without knowing what the hell happened in London, the name and sentiment strike a nerve with me. Almost like a ‘how dare I ruin things for him’ attitude. It dawns on me that he doesn’t even take a moment to ask me how I’m doing, whether I’ve had morning sickness, or anything about the baby.
This was a bad idea. I should have just kept this a secret and moved away and life could continue for him. Except you want the best for your unborn child, and having a father around who is a positive male role model is supposed to be good thing. I wouldn’t go as far as saying the Jerk could be a positive role model, though.
Again, I shouldn’t have breathed a word.
“Marcus. Does he know?”
“No…I thought you needed to know first. I will tell him tomorrow.”
“I want to be there when you tell him,” he responds, threatening me as he struggles to compose his anger.
“Wha…why? I don’t want to deal with your ego bullshit,” I inform him. “I’ll just tell him and it’s over.”
I want him to leave. I want to climb under my covers and cry myself to sleep. I’m scared, frightened, and unsure of how I am going to raise this baby alone. Somewhere deep down inside I wish he would have stepped up and taken responsibility for his actions. But true to form, he grabs his cell and wallet from the table without making eye contact.
“I have to go.”
There are no more words, and the second he is gone I begin to cry myself to sleep.
One thing that doesn’t surprise me about Marcus’s kitchen is that it is a complete and utter mess. It’s midday, Saturday, and the place looks like a tornado has just blown through. My OCD is having a heart attack, desperate to grab some disinfectant and scrub the whole place clean, but this isn’t the purpose of my visit. Although I am wondering if it would be highly inappropriate to offer to clean his apartment after I tell him I’m pregnant with his cousin’s baby?
A late night drunken call from Marcus alerted me to the welcome back party being held for the Jerk and what’s-her-face. Okay, that’s mean. She’s got a face, a pretty one at that, so no need to get on that jealous horse, Presley!
According to Marcus, Haden never showed. Eloise was worried but somehow got over it and partied hard with the rest of them. Of course I know why he didn’t turn up; he was probably smashing up the city, picturing my face on every pole.
So here I am, sitting in front of the countertop as Marcus sits beside me looking like death. Dark circles surround his dull green eyes, and his skin looks pale and sickly. Even though we are indoors, he is wearing his hoodie with the hood covering his head. The sun filtering through the small window appears to irritate him and he squints his eyes involuntarily, curling his body like a nocturnal animal.
The giant curveball to this mad situation—I didn’t expect the Jerk to be here as well.
He turned up only moments ago and sent Eloise on a mission to get everyone coffee from the café a couple of blocks away. She hadn’t appeared as wasted as the rest of them, and still looked stunning after a night of partying. A mini-argument erupted after she blatantly refused to be his coffee monkey, but he managed to somehow convince her.
Haden stands against the sink, and just as I predicted, bandages are wrapped around his right hand. I probably should ask if he is okay, but that would mean I care, which I don’t.
He is purposefully avoiding eye contact with me and is clearly still very pissed off, insinuating that this is all my fault. Well, it takes two to tango buddy, and one selfish dick to blow his load.
Earlier I had asked for a glass of water, but after witnessing how dirty the kitchen is, I leave my untouched glass sitting on the bench. I am parched, but can’t be bothered to rinse the glass out. Marcus interrupts my thoughts, questioning why the three of us are standing in the kitchen.
So, I start with the beginning—what happened that night in the alley. Throughout my recollection of the events, I honestly have to pinch myself. Here I am, standing with a guy I was fooling around with and a guy who would be my child’s father. Throw Jason into the mix and it’s like Three Men and a Baby. Ah, that Tom Selleck is one gorgeous fox!
Calm the hell down, Kitty. Stop sidetracking and clean up this goddamn mess you created!