“Haden, I don’t think—”
“Let me finish. It was bound to happen and I blame curiosity,” he claims. “We both know it can’t happen.”
My heart slightly sinks as he says that. Shit, why the hell did I react that way? I don’t have those types of feelings towards him…do I?
Don’t answer that!
“It can’t happen because you’re getting married.” There, I said it again. “Haden, we’ve got to stop playing these games.”
He seems to acknowledge the truth, and although it hurts more than I thought it would, it has to come out. We have to focus on raising this baby. That will forever be our top priority.
“I’ll stop playing these games on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
His eyes are practically dancing, and I subconsciously look around the room, wondering why he is watching me this way. Under his stare, my cheeks flush and my body temperature rises.
“I want to kiss you. Just one kiss. Nothing more.”
I laugh, thinking it’s a joke, until his expression tells me to shut the fuck up because he is dead serious.
“But you’re—”
He doesn’t allow me to finish, moving his body close to mine and cupping my chin in his masculine hands. My uneven breaths are terrified and anticipating his next move. He runs his nose along my chin and moves his face slightly upwards until his lips press gently onto mine. One kiss, that’s all. Just one little peck won’t hurt, right? I part my lips until our tongues meet midway and intertwine. With a slow and tantalizing pace, our lips move in sync, and the taste of him melts away at my body, reacting instantly. Kitty is trying to break free from her cage, but goddammit I cannot, will not, allow that to happen.
My hands mimic his and find their way to his chiseled cheekbones. We continue to kiss like this for what feels like forever, and much like high school, my jaw starts to get sore. Kitty is aching like a swollen bitch, drowning in my panties and demanding some sort of lifejacket. With a final moan, we both slow the pace and pull away simultaneously.
Stupid me. I look directly at his pants.
Fuckity fuck, fuck! He looks rock hard.
We catch our breath, and suddenly feeling shy, I struggle to look into his eyes, avoiding them till it’s impossible. Everything I see there is filled with forbidden feelings. Lust, sex, desire…and maybe traces of something deeper. The silence deepens and neither of us says a word for what feels like minutes.
“See, it was just a kiss,” he insists, adjusting his pants.
“Yep, just a kiss. A kiss that will never happen again.”
“Never ever happen again. And that was the point I was trying to prove.”
I turn to face him, and with curiosity, I ask, “You had a point to prove?”
“Yes,” he quietly chokes. “The awkward part is over. No more curiosity. So now we can be normal…be friends.”
What planet is he on? Not the same horny planet I’m on, that’s for sure.
“Okay, so we can be friends,” I say, unsure.
“Great.” He claps his hands, surprising me. “So what are you up to this weekend?”
Really? We both just had the most intense kiss ever, and now this is what we are discussing? It’s such a bizarre reaction.
“Just shopping for last-minute stuff for the baby and that’s about it. You?”
“Before I forget, my mom wants to meet you. Well, she’s been begging to meet you since I told her, but I think now’s the time.”
“Okay…”
“David wants me in L.A. next month to manage the office while the senior editor is having an operation, so I’ll be gone for three weeks.”
“David? Oh! Mr. Sadler, right.”
“Then, I’ll be spending a week in Vegas for my bachelor party,” he adds.
Whoa, rewind. Again, he gives me the most intense kiss only to tell me he’s going to party all week and probably get laid by a stripper? My blood rises and that unusual bout of jealousy is consuming me. I stare at my feet, trying to control these fucked-up feelings. Don’t say anything…just keep it to yourself.
“Strippers? Weren’t you the one who told me about fucking them or something?”
He smiles softly and raises his hand to stroke my cheek. “I would never do that to you.”
My eyes dart to his, and he is seemingly unaware of the words he just spoke.
“Don’t you mean Eloise?”
His grin disappears and suddenly he looks agitated. “Yes, I meant Eloise.”
Silence falls between us, and when no more words are left to be said, I realize my feelings need a massive reality check.
A fucking astronomical reality check.
“So, I better be going. I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”
Standing up, he heads towards the door and I follow. He turns to look at me one more time, but this time his eyes are heavily fixated on my lips. With my chest pounding hard, I pray my face isn’t flushed, showing how aroused I am and how much I want him to stay.
Bad, bad kitty!
“So I guess it’s goodbye…” he speaks barely above a breath, unable to pull his focus away from my lips.
Biting the corner of my mouth, I struggle to keep my hands by my side, itching to reach out and caress his face one more time. Finally, I return his smile, and just like that, he turns away and walks to the elevator. Urgently, I call the name my heart can no longer hold in.
“Haden?”
He turns back around, standing still in his perfect pose as my body aches for his beauty. His posture stands tall, showing off his masculine presence. His eyes are bewitching, and behind his frames, his beautiful, light brown eyes are capturing me, not wanting me to let go. But I have to…because he doesn’t belong to me.
“You’re going to make a great dad.”
His beautiful face beams instantly. “Thank you. It’s exactly what I needed to hear.”
Walking away, I shut the door and run for my room. Lying on my bed, I raise my fingertips and run them along my sensitive lips as I close my eyes. Every sensation, every feeling of what happened only minutes ago is engrained in my memory. It’s all too much and my heart can’t take it, terrified of the one thing I promised myself I would never do.
I am falling in love with the Jerk.
The night Haden left my apartment, things changed in my head. I couldn’t get over the kiss we shared, and while his intention was to get it over and done with and pass that awkward tension between us, it had the exact opposite effect on me.
I could not stop thinking about him.
I could not stop thinking about that kiss.
As much as I tried to talk myself into thinking it was the pregnancy, deep down it was gnawing at me. You know, that moment when you look at someone in a different light and all of a sudden you think to yourself, ‘Holy shit, but that person’s been in front of me all along.’ It reminded me of my teenage years, watching Dawson’s Creek. Nobody had a crush on Pacey, then all of a sudden Dawson became an afterthought and Pacey was the guy that everyone crushed on.
Geez, you know you have loose marbles in your head when you’re comparing your adult life to Dawson’s Creek.
As the weeks went on, we seemed to get along better, never mentioning what happened between us. He was busy wrapping up parts of Fallen Baby before heading over to L.A., and I was busy trying to get as much done as I possibly could and hand over any ongoing projects to Dee.
I had to admit, we got along much better since she started dating this sugar daddy. Not to mention, she was totally covered in bling.