Frustrated, I pull myself up from the couch with the assistance of Kate. Being heavily pregnant at just under thirty-five weeks is taking its toll on my body.
“We kissed…okay? That’s it,” I barely admit. “And I’m not in love with him. Just feel guilty because we shouldn’t have.”
The damage is done, and the worst part is that it damaged me. I had enough on my plate without throwing a pile of guilt on there. I should have known this would happen. I’m not as strong as I thought I was. Love has this stupid way of creeping under your skin when you least expect it.
Fuck, I DID NOT just use the word love.
“Sweetie,” Vicky says soothingly, rubbing the base of my back like the good friend she is. I welcome the massage, especially because of the extra weight I’m carrying. “Why don’t you just admit there’s something there between you?”
I want to ugly cry, and I’m not an overly emotional person. I didn’t even cry when watching Steel Magnolias or even Beaches, and everyone cries watching those movies.
“I really want to drop this subject,” I say glumly.
Thankfully, they drop the subject at that, but not without offering to hang out with me for the night. I reassure them that I’m okay, because I have to be, and I carry on, asking them about their plans for the night.
Vicky was meeting up with Patrick, which no doubt will result in her coming back here two hours later in tears. Kate had a rendezvous planned with a mystery man. She’s dressed in a short, fitted leather dress and really high leather pumps, and I’m dying to ask if it’s at some underground bondage club. I also wonder if that mystery package that arrived earlier in the week from a place called Betty’s Sweet Things has something to do with tonight.
Alone and on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, I’m entertained by Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama. As one of my favorite movies, it was normally a great distraction, but tonight I can’t stop thinking about what the Jerk is up to. No doubt, men surrounded by feral kitties and cheap booze won’t end well. Argh. I shove a handful of popcorn in my mouth, ignoring the images that taunt me. Vegas is a sleaze hole.
Moments later, my cell beeps and Vicky’s name pops up.
Oh my god Pres! Quick bathroom break, Patrick just told me he is leaving his wife and gave me a key to his new apartment!
I cringe and let out an annoyed sigh. Here we go again. No matter what I said, Vicky was going to ignore my advice anyway. To avoid the confrontation, I put my cell aside until I have some sort of response that would satisfy the both of us. When it beeps a minute later, I know she won’t give up, so I pick it up and see that it’s not from her. It’s from the Jerk.
Just checking in to make sure you haven’t given birth and ran away to some enchanted forest to raise my kid.
I laugh out loud to myself, sinking further into the sofa with a deep smile on my face. As I type a response, nerves suddenly appear and my usual witty comebacks aren’t occurring to me like they usually do. He’s miles away, yet I feel like he’s right beside me.
Still THE giant elephant in the room. Surprised you found time out of your busy stripper schedule to say hello.
I sit and wait for him to respond, and nothing. An hour later, I’ve deemed myself pathetic and have made my way to bed, cursing the living daylights out of him. Why did he have to go ahead and text me, only to leave me hanging like this? My own fault. Why did I get so fucking excited when he texted me?
I try to fall asleep but my restless legs and weak bladder call for a sleepless night, so I get to reading. Somewhere in my pregnancy book, I fall asleep, only to be woken shortly after from another text.
Can I call you?
These four simple words make my heart race so fast that I’m unable to respond immediately. The second I do, my cell rings.
“Hey, giant elephant in the room,” he whispers.
“Thanks. You sure know how to make a woman feel better.”
He lets out a raspy laugh. “I think I left my charm along with my wallet in some stripper’s panties.”
“Sounds like you’re behaving yourself. What time is it there?”
“Beer o’clock,” he responds humorously. “The sun will greet me soon.”
“I couldn’t sleep either, but for very different reasons.”
His heavy breathing comes through the phone, and for a brief moment, I think he is asleep.
“Soon the baby will be here and you can sleep better.”
“Ha!” I exclaim. “Newsflash, babies wake up all through the night. I wonder if Kate would like to do the am shift.”
With a slight hesitation, he responds sincerely. “You don’t have to do that. Maybe some nights I can stay over…like on the couch or something?”
It’s my turn to hesitate. It was inevitable that this would come up. We still hadn’t come to an arrangement as to how it would work once the baby is here. I’m still staying at Kate’s because I can’t decide whether to stay in the city or not. Kate reassured me that having a baby around would not cramp her style. In fact, she offered to help out whenever she could, especially at night since she’s a night owl.
I don’t cope well with no sleep. In fact, I’m the grumpiest person ever if I don’t get eight hours straight of sleep. Haden can’t sleep on the couch forever, but it’s not like I’m ready to have the baby sleep at his place, either. I feel a migraine coming on.
“I guess we could do that…”
“You sound unsure.”
“I just haven’t thought about it much. I’ve been preoccupied with this birthing plan I’m supposed to come up with.”
It seems like the most awkward conversation ever, and it goes on for ages. He then proceeds to tell me stories about the past few nights, many of which leave me in stitches. Although he doesn’t talk much about Marcus, he eludes to the fact that Marcus is somewhat not over me.
“You need to ignore his texts and calls,” he warns me.
Coincidentally, it’s then that a beep comes through the line. I quickly pull my cell away from my ear and open the text. It is from Marcus and…holy shit! It’s a picture of his cock.
“He just texted me. Do you have ESP or something?”
I hear a low growl over the speaker. “What did he say?”
I laugh, because it is funny when you think about it. “It’s not what he said but more what he showed.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Haden snaps.
“Don’t worry, I can handle him. I’m not looking to start things up with him again if that’s what you’re worried about.”
More silence.
“I’m not worried. Marcus is relentless when he wants something he can’t have. He shouldn’t send shit like that to you.”
“Sounds like someone else I know,” I blurt out without thinking.
He laughs on cue. “You mean me? I’m not like that.”
“Yeah, and I’m not going to turn into a crazy cat lady.”
“I wouldn’t let you get a cat. So there, you can’t become a crazy cat lady.”
I shake my head and realize he can’t see me. “It only takes one visit to the shelter and BAM, you’re coming home with a kitty and a bag of litter.”
“What if I told you I’m allergic to kitties?”
I almost choke into the phone as I fall into a fit of laughter. “Um, I don’t think you are allergic to kitties because if you were, you might as well call me Immaculate Mary.”
Even through the phone I can hear him smiling. “Mind in the gutter, Malone. I think you are long overdue to get some.”
God, was that the truth. Don’t you dare mention that you want some from him!