There were other kids close to our age we spent time with. They seemed to be going as stir-crazy as I was when David showed up at our farm. Roc had played Little League with David and his friends. I remembered David from when he came to one of Roc’s birthday parties. It was a huge deal because my brother was able to invite his whole Little League team.
David came right up to me and introduced himself. We were in middle school, and most boys had decided girls were weird, or that was what Roc told me. I don’t remember what we talked about. I think he spoke, and I stared at him because I wasn’t sure what to make of him.
Then several years later he drives up to the farm in a flashy car with a gorgeous girl next to him, and I’m out washing the truck. When he stepped out of the car, I about died. Pudgy little David had transformed into something that made it hard to even look at him and breathe at the same time. I didn’t realize real boys looked like that. To my horror, I was in my grungy car-washing clothes.
He confused me so much I remember yelling at him. I know, right? How stupid could I be?
Then he talks to Roc about coming out for football. In a blur of pure genius, David saved us from homeschooling. I have to thank my mother because as soon as word got out, all the other kids wanted to go to regular school. She smoothed the waters because she recognized how much Roc really wanted to play football.
I never expected someone would talk to Tracy Dole about me. She came out to the farm and talked to my mom and me about me going out for cheerleading. She explained it would help me make friends and that they needed me. I’m not sure if that latter part was true or not, but it turned out to be a lot of fun.
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For me, going to public school was a godsend. My mom understood we needed to fit in, so that meant a shopping spree at Walmart, her go-to store for most everything. She convinced the other parents they needed to buy new school clothes. It wasn’t like we didn’t have work clothes for the farm. People considered us different enough that we didn’t need to show up looking like poor dirt-farmers.
I wasn’t nearly as embarrassed the next time I saw David. He’d come to Tracy’s house to join us swimming. He was talking to Brook Davis, and I felt a surge of jealousy. I don’t know what came over me, but the next thing I knew, I’ve walked up to him and kissed him the cheek. When he asked why I’d kissed him, I thought quickly and said it was for helping us get out of homeschooling. Brook was eyeing him, so I got brave and asked him if he would show me around school my first day.
When school started, I was surprised to find David in all my AP classes. I mean, I realized he wasn’t stupid, but I had no idea how smart he really was. Maybe because of how outgoing he was, I just never recognized it before.
I soon found out there was a whole different side to David, the side I fell in love with. He’d shown up on a Sunday afternoon. I had chores to do, and he pitched in and helped me, to my surprise. Once again, I’d completely misread him. His friend Wolf talked about doing yard work at David’s, and I’d heard that he had a cleaning lady. I simply assumed him to be what I would imagine a teenage boy with money would be like, afraid of work. I should have known better by what I’d heard of his workouts. David never hesitated to help me muck out stalls and feed the horses.
I also found this chatterbox sometimes became silent and seemed to calm down, as best I could describe it. To see David’s quiet confidence as he moved from task to task made my chest tight. He even listened to me as I pointed out better ways to do things. He would just give me his little smile and do as I asked. I could envision us living on a farm and raising a bunch of kids. I expect every girl dreamed of finding a man like this. You just felt you could count on him and that the two of you would make a good match.
It also made me happy that David could ride a horse. He wasn’t an expert by any stretch, but horses are one of my passions. I was glad to find someone I could share that with. On one of his Sunday visits, I’d hurried up and gotten my chores done so we could go riding.
I took him to one of my favorite spots next to the river. I fully intended to make my case for him to date me. Everything was perfect as we got off the horses and enjoyed nature. Finally, I got up the nerve to kiss him; I’d never kissed a boy before. Fortunately, David knew what he was doing, and I just did my best to keep up with everything he taught me. I’d never thought of myself as a sexual person. My religion teaches that relations between a man and a woman are supposed to happen within the confines of marriage.
And David respected that. If he didn’t, I would have completely lost it when he got naked. Well, that wasn’t entirely true; I asked him to. He understood I wanted to learn, and he obliged. What happened next was a little embarrassing, so I’ll skip that. But when I went to bed that night, I was certain that David was going to be the one I gave my virginity to.
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My problem was that I wasn’t the only girl David was seeing. I expect if it had been anyone else, none of us would’ve tolerated it. David seemed to make it okay for him to be seeing Pam, Halle, Brook, and me. It did help that we all got together and talked about it. I found the others shared the same insecurities I had. The more I got to know them, the more my fears seemed to leave me.
I eventually did lose my virginity to him. He made it special as he took me to a fancy restaurant and then to a romantic cabin. He even did a sexy dance for me. I couldn’t think of a better way or with a better man to experience it all with.
He hadn’t promised any of us anything more than spending time with us. He carved out time for all of us and seemed to do things we each enjoyed. Somehow, it worked. I expect that’s in part because we realized he wasn’t ready to take things further with anyone. To be honest, I wasn’t prepared to settle down, either. Not that I wanted to date anyone else, I just wanted to have some fun, and David seemed like the perfect guy for that.
Then everything took a dramatic turn. Pam found out she was pregnant. I think we all expected David would do as his brother had and marry her. It was what you did if you got a girl pregnant. I knew he would never consider not wanting to be a dad.
It might have worked out for the two of them, but Pam’s dad got involved. From what I saw, it was horrible. Poor David walked around with a haunted look when Pam wouldn’t even talk to him about it. When the entire mess ended, I was in shock when David agreed to raise their child, not Pam. I guess I never imagined that rearing a baby would be done by anyone but the mother.
Don’t get me wrong, I understood that Pam didn’t want to have to be responsible for raising a child while only a junior in high school. I certainly would have a hard time wrapping my head around it. But if confronted with that choice, I’m sure I would have ended up making a different decision.
While David struggled with his issues with Pam, I found Halle and Brook became closer friends with me. We all faced a life without David in it. I think the three of us were secretly happy Pam hadn’t staked her claim on him. She easily could have. The thought of him leaving us seemed to pull us closer together. We agreed that if he didn’t pick Pam, we wouldn’t pressure him with our own agendas. We would wait until he picked one of us to be his girlfriend. When he did, I knew the others would be disappointed that he chose me.
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Chapter 1 – I Would Find Ways to be Me Sunday November 1
After leaving Rigby, Thompson and Associates, where I’d just settled how Pam and I would handle the raising or our child, I needed to unwind. It had begun to rain, so I took it easy while I drove. The Charger wanted to be aggressive, but I didn’t want to push it in this weather. It was Sunday afternoon, so I found myself at the Pearson farm. When I turned in, Zoe waved to me from the barn. I pulled up as close as I could to try to stay dry, then dashed in and found Zoe wet, muddy, and pissed.