“If it gets too weird tonight, will you come get me?” she asked.
I saw through her little ruse and was more than happy to come get her. We spent the rest of the meal catching up. I really liked Sandy and could see us being friends for life. She had a good heart and had been there when I needed her two years ago. At the time, we were just getting to know each other when I was trapped in the avalanche. She’d helped out my church youth group and flown my dad out to be with me. At the time, he didn’t know if he was picking up a body or me. Thankfully, I survived. I would never forget her kindness.
After dinner, I received a text that Zak was there with the limo. I found Fritz, who’d had dinner in the lounge, and gathered up Devin and his friends. We were off to see what a party was like that was supposed to be better than going to the Playboy Mansion.
◊◊◊
When we got into the limo, I introduced Zak to everyone. He was so excited I wondered if he was ten and just been told he was getting a dirt bike for his birthday.
“Are there really going to be porn stars at this party?” Cliff asked.
Zak gave me a sheepish look.
“Yes. I hope you guys are good in bed,” Zak said.
“Damn straight, I’m good in bed. I can sleep for days,” Cliff said.
I hid my grin because Zak seemed to be at a loss as to what to say to that. Cliff had said it with a straight face. Apparently, Devin and his friends were used to his sense of humor. Zak wasn’t to be discouraged, though.
“I bought a variety pack of condoms. Which kind do you like best?” he asked as he pulled a Costco-size box out of his bag.
“I like M&M Condoms. They melt in your mouth, not in your hands,” Cliff announced.
Zak blinked.
“I like Bounty Condoms. They’re the quicker picker-upper,” I said, getting into the spirit of things.
“I prefer Chevy Condoms. Like a rock,” Devin added.
“I fancy KFC Condoms. Finger-licking good,” Lou shared.
“I have to have Energizer Condoms. They just keep going and going and going,” Fritz said, shocking all of us.
We all started laughing, and Zak figured out we were just being goofy and lost that deer-in-the-headlights look. He got with the program and came up with his own.
“I’d say I like Star Trek Condoms. To boldly go where no man has gone before!”
I guess none of us knew what to expect. I mean, you can only try to imagine what it might be like. If you imagined half-naked beautiful women everywhere you turned, you would have been right. I was torn as to which was my favorite attire. The choice was between the thong and t-shirt with no bra, the men’s white dress shirt and nothing else, or the yoga pants and sports bra. The guy-to-girl ratio was also seriously in our favor. Zak said they needed to control things so the party didn’t get out of hand.
A woman who seemed to be in charge cornered me.
“David, welcome. Let me get a photographer, and we’ll have pictures taken,” she said.
Several other stars were being led around to get pictures with the girls. I was a little surprised when I recognized a couple of celebrities whom I thought were married. I certainly wouldn’t want photos of me at a party like this to get back to my soon-to-be ex.
Devin and his friends had found the bar. Zak was already missing. Fritz was standing just inside the room, watching me. A young-looking girl with a camera around her neck hurried up to me.
“Hey,” she said, trying to act cool.
“Sup,” I shot back.
She bobbed her head as she tried to act casual, but it was clear she was excited to see me. I would bet she wasn’t much older than I was.
I waited for her to lead the way, but she was too busy acting cool. Leaning down, I whispered in her ear, “Aren’t you supposed to take my picture?”
The poor girl blushed. I just did my usual routine and began to introduce myself to everyone. She became my shadow, and I heard the shutter snap.
It seems to me that when God made women, he gave them a choice: either a big butt and huge breasts, or small butt and itty-bitty titties. I found a young Latina who had Kim Kardashian’s butt and the biggest, softest breasts I’d ever seen. I guess I should explain how I knew they were soft: she made it a point to trap my arm between them when we had our picture taken.
“You’re cute,” she said as she stroked my arm.
Devin and his friends picked that moment to appear out of nowhere. All four of them were almost drooling.
“Devin, I’d like you to meet …” I said and then turned to her. “I’m sorry, what’s your name?”
“Bella,” she said.
Lou stepped forward and smiled.
“That means beautiful. Your parents got it right when they named you,” he said as he took her hand and kissed it.
“Amante de la, you flatter me,” she said.
“Bella, it’s Devin’s bachelor party. Do you have some friends he and his buddies might spend some time with?” I asked.
“Sí, un momento.”
She left.
“Are we doing this?” Devin asked.
“It’s up to you, but I think Lou’s in love,” Cliff teased.
She came back with four friends and took Lou’s hand.
“Ven con nosotros, amante.”
“She said to come with them,” Lou translated.
I wished them good luck, and Bella stopped and tilted her head.
“You don’t want to join us?”
“Thank you, but no,” I said and then held up a finger. “Devin, do you have a second?”
He really didn’t want to, but he did. His girl waited on him.
“I’m going to take off. Don’t let Zak talk you into anything,” I warned.
“I believe we can figure it out. I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks for inviting us, and say hello to my sister.”
I shook my head because we both knew he’d just busted me. He left, and I went to find Fritz.
“You didn’t find anyone you liked?” he asked.
“I guess I liked most of them. At some point, I realized that all this is just not me. I can see how someone like Zak can go out and find a new friend almost every day. And I have to admit that LA is full of some of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. I don’t know, I guess what I’m saying is that it all just seems too easy. I mean, the last party I was at I met a girl, she told me her name, and then we were naked,” I said.
Fritz laughed at me.
“I sound like a wuss, don’t I?”
That made him laugh even harder.
“Screw you. Let’s go find the bachelorette party so I can save Sandy.”
I took one last look around and remembered my motto lately—‘no regrets.’ Would I regret not going wild at a party with porn stars? I guess it came down to that I knew they made their living having sex. If I wanted someone like that, I would get married. Did I just think that? I would bet any of Cora’s bridesmaids would marry me in a heartbeat, for my money. Maybe Devin and I could have a double wedding.
Honestly, I didn’t have a problem with a casual hookup. The girl at the party had been fun, and we both knew the score. I think part of it was my Alpha Male side; I didn’t want to share my women. While I had no idea how promiscuous the girl at the party was, that was the point, I didn’t know. If I wanted to prove my dominance, I supposed I could have bedded half the women here. Someday I might just do that, but given a choice, I’d rather spend my time with Sandy tonight.
I sent her a text. She sent one back saying where they were. I guess I wasn’t surprised when Paul showed up with the Range Rover. He was in charge of my parents; he said they were out dancing, and told him he had time to pick up Fritz and me. We drove to a shady part of town where there was a strip club, and it was ladies night. I sent a text to Sandy to let her know we were there, and she came out with Pam and Tracy. Pam looked pissed.
I got out, helping them into the car, and Pam rushed into my arms.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.