“But you can’t wall yourself off. We’re social beings, and you know better than most that you can do anything, but you can’t do it by yourself. One of your most admirable traits is that you’ve always known to get coaching or help from others when you needed it, while not losing yourself in the shuffle. Keep doing that.
“Looking at it from the perspective of circles of trust, this isn’t about one size fits all. With anybody, there may be hot buttons or blind spots where the trust isn’t as deep, or may not be there at all. That’s normal, and you won’t share your deepest thoughts with someone about those facets of your life, even if you trust them with everything else.
“There also are some things you might not like to have happen, but that those you trust will do for the greater good. For example, if your mom or your dad, or I, believe it’s in the best interests of the family as a whole to share something, we will. And that’s even if it’s been told to us with an expectation of privacy. We won’t do it lightly, but we will always be guided by the thought of what’s best for everyone in the family.
“I want you to view this as a framework for your guidance. It’s not something rigid. There will always be small exceptions or cautions when you apply the perspective you get from it. The number of circles you use and what you call them is up to you. Just make the concept a useful tool for yourself and try to keep it simple so the thoughts don’t overwhelm you,” he explained.
I’d been looking at the circles as an all-or-nothing proposition and consequently was having a hard time figuring out where people fell into them. My mom had my back, and I felt comfortable telling her anything, except when it came to Tami. I even understood that Uncle John would support my dad if there was ever an issue between Dad and me because I would do the same for Greg. That didn’t mean that Uncle John or my mom should be moved into another circle. I simply had to keep aware of what I trusted them with, which was almost everything.
I looked at him and nodded, and then he smiled.
“Well, I expect they’ve slept long enough. Let’s get everyone up and go fishing,” Uncle John said.
◊◊◊
It turned out it really was too windy, and most of the people at the fish camp had stopped fishing for the day. The clubhouse had pool tables and was set up for the evening meals. I challenged my brothers to a game of pool while everyone else found a table to kick back and relax at.
I was whipping my brothers’ butts while Dad and Uncle John had gotten up to talk to other anglers spread out around the room. That was when a girl’s voice had us all turning our heads.
“I can do this, Uncle Ethan, just give me another chance.”
“GD nitwit. It was good someone saw us, or we could have been stuck out there overnight,” Uncle Ethan said as he walked off, leaving the girl at the door.
The poor girl looked like she was in middle school, a slim wisp who seemed better suited for a stroll in New York than for fishing. Her uncle was a completely different animal. He looked like he worked with his hands, outdoors. I shook my head when I saw the cigarette dangling from his lips. The girl looked like she might cry.
“Here’s your chance. Go talk to her,” Greg encouraged Phil.
“I bet she’s a virgin, too,” I said with a straight face.
Phil’s face turned bright red, and he said an unkind word about my parentage and stormed off. Greg and I smiled at each other. The girl was still standing in the doorway, not sure what to do.
“Hey, you, come here,” I said.
She looked at me and realized that I was talking to her. She ducked her head and came to me.
“Our stupid brother bailed on playing pool with us. Could you take his place?” I asked.
“I’ve never played,” she admitted.
“You can’t be any worse than Phil. We’ll teach you,” Greg said.
“I’m David, and this is my brother Greg,” I said as an introduction.
“Madison,” she said, and then her eyes got big. “You’re a movie star.”
Greg loved it because Madison would stare at me the whole time we played pool. To distract her, I tried to get her to tell us why her uncle was mad at her.
“Uncle Ethan had to take me on his fishing vacation because I got into trouble at home,” she admitted.
“What did you do?” Greg asked.
“I got stuck in a tree,” she mumbled.
Greg and I looked at each other and then back at her.
“I think we need a little more detail than ‘I got stuck in a tree,’” Greg said.
Madison put her head in her hands, and I thought she might start crying again. Then she looked at us and shook her head.
“I live with my mom and grandma. Grandma has pretty much raised me since my dad disappeared when I was seven and Mom had to go back to work. Grandma is … different. She hears voices and is very Catholic, and she sometimes scares me. When she gets too bad, I go live with my aunt and uncle for a while until she’s better.
“Jimmy Howard lives down the block and is older than I am. My best friend Kayla lives next door to him. She told me he, uh … can be seen before going to bed. She watches him through her bedroom window. I asked if I could come over, but my grandma had said something nasty to her mom, so I wasn’t allowed. They have a big oak tree in their yard, so I decided I would watch him from there,” she said, and then stopped.
Greg and I looked at each other again.
“I suspect you’re leaving out the good parts,” I prodded.
Madison blushed.
“Come on, spill it,” Greg said with a big smile.
“Okay. I guess I’ll never see you two after I leave,” she said, and then took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Jimmy got undressed and got into bed. I was getting ready to leave, but he got out his tablet … and … uh … you know …”
“Spanked his monkey,” Greg offered.
She gave us a nervous giggle.
“It would’ve been fine, but I screamed when I saw it. I’ve only seen little ones. He was huge,” she said with big eyes. “That was when he saw me.”
“And …” Greg prodded.
“I sort of almost fell out of the tree. I would have, except my foot got caught and I was hanging upside down and yelling because it hurt. Next I knew, the whole neighborhood was gathered around the tree, and they could see my panties,” Madison said and stopped again.
I could see how that would attract a crowd.
“Then what happened?” I asked.
“Someone called the fire department, and my grandma was down below, screaming at me to cover up. She was the one who made me wear skirts. I had bigger things to worry about than whether the neighbors could see my underwear. When the firemen got me unhooked, I begged them to take me with them because I knew my grandma was in one of her moods.
“My aunt and uncle came and got me. My uncle had planned this trip, so I had to go with him because I wasn’t allowed to be left alone,” she finished.
“Because you were peeping?” Greg asked.
“I don’t think I like your brother,” Madison said to me as she pouted.
“That’s okay. I don’t like him much most of the time, but he can grow on you,” I shared.
“Why is your uncle mad at you?” Greg asked.
“I accidentally let my line out while we were coming back, and it got tangled in the prop. We had to get towed back, and they had to take the prop off to get the line out,” she admitted.
We should never have gotten Madison talking. I admit that she was funny, but by the time we returned to our cabin to eat dinner, I was worn out from listening to her. I was also glad to leave because she stared at me the whole time, to the amusement of everyone there, including her uncle.