“Or imagine being in a press conference. The folks there generally are good people, but a handful would love to be able to make you look bad, especially if they get a story out of it. Often, it only takes one, so you may be friendly and outgoing, but you’re more alert for traps or for malice.
“Don’t worry about it and don’t wish it weren’t that way. It is, and it’s a part of the territory, so just deal with it,” Uncle John said, and turned to the others. “For most of you, this won’t really be an issue—but it can be. Keep the thought handy so if you ever need it, it’ll be there for you.”
◊◊◊ Tuesday June 28
The wind had calmed down overnight. I came out of my room to find Dad making breakfast alone. He had heated some water for tea, so I made a cup and stepped out onto the deck to watch the sunrise. Dad was making a breakfast casserole, so he had time to get a cup of coffee and join me.
“What do you think of what your uncle’s telling you?”
“It makes sense. I wish we’d talked about it a little sooner because I can see where it would’ve helped me in a couple of cases.”
Dad just nodded.
“Dad, why doesn’t Uncle John do this full time? He could really help people.”
“There was an accusation made. Nothing could be proven, but he decided to become a farmer instead.”
“Did he do it?” I asked.
Dad got a sad look on his face.
“I honestly don’t know.”
“Did you ever ask?”
Right on cue, my uncle came out with a cup of coffee.
“Why don’t you ask him?” Dad asked.
“Ask me what?” Uncle John asked.
“David wondered if you did what they accused you of. He thought you would make a good therapist.”
“You never asked,” Uncle John said to my dad.
“I didn’t have to, you’re my brother.”
They looked at each other and then turned to look at me. It reminded me of what Greg and I sometimes did.
“No, I didn’t. But it was a he said/she said situation. I had a reputation with some of the teachers, so it wasn’t a stretch to believe I would seduce a student. I suspected that she was being abused at home, and when I tried to help, she protected her family. They say no good deed goes unpunished. In the end, she hurt herself,” Uncle John said, looking out over the lake.
“Is she alright?” I asked.
“No. The blood loss was too much, and she sustained brain damage. She will never be alright.”
“So, you quit?” I asked.
“It was for the best. I was a mess when I found out, and there was no way to prove that I hadn’t done anything. I also learned that people I considered my friends weren’t.”
Knowing what he’d gone through made all this make more sense. He was protecting us.
◊◊◊
Paul and I went fishing with Phil. It was our job to catch walleye for lunch today. I wasn’t as focused today because I was ruminating on everything Uncle John had said to me. Phil, though, showed me he was a good fisherman. He caught four nice ones before I even had a strike.
“David, do you wish I never moved to go to school with you?” Phil asked.
“No, I’m fine with it. Why?” I asked.
“You just seem to be a lot closer to Greg than you are to me.”
I guess we needed to talk about his insecurities this morning.
“Finding out that you were my brother was a little traumatic. I expect you can do the math and figure out why my mom wasn’t happy about the news,” I said.
“I never considered that,” he admitted. “Was that why we’ve never become close?”
“Greg and I grew up in the same house. I’ve known you for less than a year. When I thought my parents might get a divorce, I admit I had some unkind thoughts about you,” I said and saw him stiffen. “But I realize it wasn’t your fault. I was glad when Dad told me you were coming to guys’ week. I think it has helped us get closer.”
“Do you think Dad will buy me a car?” he asked.
It still threw me when he called my dad, ‘Dad.’
“I don’t know. Isn’t that something your mom and stepdad should be doing?” I asked.
He shrugged.
“Better yet. If you really want a car, what are you doing to make it happen?” I asked.
“But he bought Greg one,” Phil whined.
“Greg also mowed the yard, shoveled snow, cooked dinner three to four times a week, and has been my parents’ slave labor since he could walk. It’s not fair for you to go to Dad with your hand out like that,” I said, with a touch of irritation in my voice.
“Is that what you think, that all I’m doing is coming to Dad with my hand out? I thought he gave the car to Greg because he was his son,” Phil said.
“Let me ask you something: besides this week, how much time have you spent with him?” I asked.
“It’s a two-way street,” Phil shot back.
“Let me get this right. You think just because he was the sperm donor, he owes you a car?” I asked.
I thought he might swing at me. Then Paul laughed at us. I turned to him to see what was so funny.
“Sorry, but you two are definitely brothers. Why don’t you wait until we’re on shore before you start pounding on each other? I don’t feel like fishing either of you out of the lake,” Paul said.
“When I’m done with him, there won’t be a body to find,” I explained.
“See, I knew you hated me,” Phil said.
“Shut the heck up. If I hated you, I wouldn’t put up with your crap.”
He sat and sulked the whole trip back. Yes, I could see this bonding was going well.
◊◊◊
After lunch, Uncle John started up again.
“Okay, the final part of this is at least as important as the rest of it. Once you’ve got this perspective in place, how are you going to use it? How’s it going to guide you or help you in the future?”
“You have to develop a plan, or plans, for how you will deal with the people in each circle on your page. What those plans are will be unique to each of you. For some people, you may even have to devise a specific strategy for each particular person. Whatever it is, though, your approach to dealing with them will very likely be different from mine or anyone else’s.
“For example, consider people you don’t know or who you meet on the street or at a party. Most of us likely will be perfectly fine with just ignoring them or dealing with them on a friendly level. We’ll do that without letting them into our personal space until we know them better.
“That won’t work for David, though. He’s already had several experiences with people who’ve approached him at parties, or when surfing or wherever. These people have wanted to use him, or even wanted to harm him in some way. Where most of us have nothing to worry about, David has to wear a body camera to keep people honest,” Uncle John said, explaining the reality of fame.
Phil and Greg looked at me like they’d never seen me before. I know they were at least partially aware of some of what I went through, but now it was in their faces.
“In some ways, I guess it really does suck to be you,” Phil finally blurted.
I gave him a sad smile.
“Welcome to my world.”
Uncle John decided it was time to wrap it up.
“I’m not saying you have to come up with a plan or strategy tonight, but I want each of you to think about it over this week. Put names into each circle until you believe you’ve got it covered, especially the innermost ones. Then write out a plan for how you’ll interact with people in each circle. Each of you can come and talk with me at any time about what you’re doing. In fact, I expect you to talk with me privately at least once this week. If you don’t want to go through this exercise and do it right, that’s your business. It makes no difference at all to me and my life. But it could make a huge difference to you and your life, so you might want to take this seriously and give it the effort it deserves.”