“Are you sure we should be doing this? Your dad didn’t seem very happy about us going out,” I asked Cassidy.
“You won fair and square. Daddy’s a man of his word,” she said, which didn’t really answer my question.
Cassidy wanted to go to Monical’s since that was where the team was headed. We ended up parking across the street in the bank’s parking lot. Monical’s had the biggest line I’d ever seen there after a game. It looked like half the football stadium had shown up. Yuri was at the door and motioned for us to come in.
“We have the banquet room,” he told us.
I felt bad for all the people in line. It would be half the night before they got in. I went to the counter and caught the eye of the assistant manager who always hooked up my brother because she had a crush on him.
“You guys ready for more appetizers?” she asked.
“I don’t know, haven’t been back there yet. What I wanted to do is feed the people in line,” I said and handed her $300. “Could you make a variety of pizzas and serve each of them a slice and give them a soda?”
She smiled and nodded.
“Tell them it’s from the football team as a thank-you for their support tonight.”
Cassidy looked up at me and smiled as she took my hand. We made our way to the back. I found Ty and gave him a big hug.
“You killed it tonight!” I exclaimed.
I then went searching for Wolf. He had half the team around him as he told them some joke or story.
“Holidays are all designed to lighten your wallet. My dad says that as you get older, it gets worse. I have to agree. You work hard for your money, and yet women expect you to buy them stuff on all the holidays,” Wolf said.
Cassidy looked like she was about to jump in, so I grabbed her arm and shook my head. She gave me a look that you never wanted to see on her face. Cassidy was one of the few women who could make you pay for being a ‘stupid boy,’ but I wanted to see where this was going.
“What about Easter? That’s a religious holiday.” Yuri asked.
Wolf dropped his head and shook it in disbelief. He was about to educate Yuri.
“Have you not heard of an Easter Dress? How many times do you think a woman wears it? If you don’t know, I’ll tell you: once! Of course, it comes with the hat, the purse, and let’s not forget the shoes. You also have all the decorations, Easter eggs, and the big meal. On top of that, they make you go to church!
“Then there are the holidays like Presidents’ Day. Sounds innocent enough, doesn’t it? It’s a day off work, and the kids are out of school. What could be so bad? The bad part is it’s a long weekend! If you somehow get out of spending it with your in-laws, then it’s a family weekend. You’d think it would just be an extra day to kick back and rest, but my dad says it doesn’t work out that way,” Wolf said.
“What about Father’s Day?” Johan asked. “Isn’t that all about the guy?”
“David, have we failed them? Surely they’re being taught these things,” Wolf complained.
I was willing to play the straight man. I edged a little away from Cassidy as I poured gasoline on the fire.
“I know. I guess it’s left to us to educate them. After you tell them about Father’s Day, explain why men have to make 20 percent more than women.”
There was a downside to dating Cassidy: if she wanted to plant her elbow in your ribs, there wasn’t much you could do about it.
“Ah, good point. Now Father’s Day is supposed to be all about what the dad wants to do. Think about it. What would you want? First would be to keep some of your hard-earned money. More than likely the day would start out with some special sex from your loving wife, but that’s never going to happen,” he said, shaking his head.
“Why not?” Roc asked.
Wolf threw his hands up in disgust.
“Because you’re married, of course! Special sex only happens to single guys, and then it’s doled out only on special occasions, like Valentine’s Day, when you’ve spent an inordinate amount of money,” Wolf answered. “Now, where was I? Oh, yes. What we want versus what really happens. After the special sex, you think your wife would cook you a nice breakfast, and then she and the kids would go to her parents and leave you alone so you can take naps and watch the baseball game.
“What really happens is your wife is so thrilled that you’re going to the in-laws that she’s out of bed before you wake up. She then makes you go with them to celebrate her dad’s Father’s Day. Of course, she bought a gift for him that was paid for out of your hard-earned money.
“Now let’s talk about why men make 20 percent more than women. In this day and age, you’d expect that for equal work there’d be equal pay, but that isn’t really the case. The reason is that the man’s expected to pay for everything. If you don’t believe me, try going Dutch on a date. I’ll guarantee you that there won’t be a second date,” he said.
Even Cassidy nodded her head at that one.
“It doesn’t stop there. Think about it! If your girl were paying, you’d be going to the BK Lounge and ordering off the dollar menu. Instead, you have to take her to some fancy restaurant and then a movie. Of course, we’re dumb enough to think that if we spend enough, we’ll get laid. Better yet, we might get special sex,” Wolf said.
“What’s special sex?” Yuri asked.
Wolf looked at me for a little help.
“That would be anal sex,” I blurted, since nothing else came to mind.
Everyone, including Wolf, looked at me with wonder. Well, except for Cassidy; her expression was very different, but I quickly turned away from her.
“Please, teach them,” Wolf said with a smirk.
Crud! What was it Tami said about my first reaction? It was always wrong!
“Guys, anal sex isn’t all it’s purported to be. It’s rarely like what you see on porn videos. Women were created with a perfectly good and functionally built place to put your dick,” I started.
“Are you saying it isn’t great?” Wolf teased me.
He had me there. I tried a different tack.
“Think about it. First is the whole smell factor,” I said, crinkling my nose. “The anus is designed for stuff to come out of and not go in. There’s also no natural lubrication. Then there’s all the crying you have to deal with afterward.”
“So, if I’m hearing you correctly, if the girl prepares herself with an enema, and you use plenty of lubricant, the girl’s reaction is about the same as all the girls you have sex with,” Wolf said.
I let the laughter die down before continuing. I suddenly had a brilliant idea.
“You know, we should create the perfect holiday. We could call it ‘Special Sex Day.’ We would have it on June 25th each year. It’d be like Christmas for guys. We could get t-shirts made and just put the date on them. That way, when you saw a guy with one on, you would simply nod and smile because you knew he’d gotten special sex on the holiday. Better yet, you might be at a party and see a girl wearing one,” I proposed.
“Yeah,” all the guys said with big smiles on their faces.
Cassidy had had enough testosterone-filled sexist talk for one night. She was a good sport, really. She had hung around Marine bases and football players all her life. Not much shocked little Cassidy.
◊◊◊
I was still hyped up after the game, so I took Cassidy to the park. Under the park lights, I showed her parkour, or freestyle, running. Peggy had taught me how to do it. Cassidy had a blast as we bounced all over the park. Then she stopped me.
“Show me what you did to my dad,” she said.
“We should do this on the mats. One of us might get hurt.”
“Wuss,” she called me.
I showed Cassidy some of the tosses they had taught me for Star Academy. I then showed her the counters. I could tell she really wanted to throw me around the park, but I wasn’t that stupid. I kissed her instead. Things began to heat up, and then Cassidy pushed me back.