“That everything comes easy to you,” he accused, his gray eyes hot and angry.
“That’s a load of crap. I work my ass off for what I have.” My fury was so fierce I felt a rush of pure hate.
Jake shrugged his handsome, muscled shoulders.
I don’t think anything on earth could have made me more pissed off.
“What? You think I’m just lucky? Or you think I’m spoiled?”
He looked at me and shrugged again, and my blood boiled. “Maybe a little bit of both.”
The teacher gave a general command to everyone to get back on task, and I did, but I was so mad I could feel myself shake. Is this what Jake always thought of me? Did he ever respect what I did, or did he just see me as some spoiled girl with a silver spoon in her mouth? Had he said it to make me angry? Why had it worked so well? How much truth was there to his words?
Jake didn’t look up at me, though I couldn’t believe it was possible that my furious glares didn’t scorch his skin. I had never felt this kind of plain, drag-out hate. I hated Jake. For what he had said. For what he tried to make me feel. For what he wouldn’t say.
When the bell finally rang, Jake kicked his chair back and strode out of the classroom. Nikki was waiting to play tonsil hockey with him right outside the doorway. I pushed past hard enough to jostle them both.
“Watch it!” Nikki cried. “Bitch!
Jake and I locked eyes for a long moment, then I turned and rushed out, into the cold parking lot.
I burst out of the doors, and too late remembered that my bike was in Saxon’s trunk.
“Brenna!” Jake called. He had run out, no coat on, no sign of Nikki.
“What?” I bit out. “I’m not apologizing for bumping into you. You two should get a room. Or a truck,” I said snidely. But it hurt, to remember that the truck had been the place we had held each other such an incredibly short time ago.
“I just wanted…” He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just didn’t want to leave it. Like this.”
“Like what? Like two people who aren’t dating anymore?” I asked. “Because that’s why you’re wrapped around Nikki. Or whatever girl it is now.”
He stared at me and his mouth hung open. “What?” he yelled. “Are you serious? Youdumped me, Bren. Or did you forget? You called me from across a fucking ocean to tell me that you were busy throwing yourself at the worst guy you could find.” He pulled his cap off and ran a hand through his hair. “How the hell did you think I’d feel about that?”
“I had reasons,” I said, desperate to explain.
“To break my fucking heart?” he asked, his voice cracking a little.
I wanted to run into his arms. I wanted to take the last week back and erase it.
“I wanted to come and talk to you about it,” I said quietly. “Yesterday. I’ve been thinking a lot, and I think I know why I did it. And I’m sorry I hurt you, but I feel like I had to do it. So, if you want me to explain, maybe we could sometime, when you’re not busy with what’s her face.” My mom hated that expression; what’s her face. It sounded petty and mean, and that’s exactly how I felt about her.
“Bren, I don’t know,” Jake said, the pain raw on his face. “Maybe we can…”
And he stopped. I heard the roar of the engine that stopped him. His face lost its vulnerable pained look and hardened.
“Forget it.” He shook his head with disgust. “Your ride’s here, Bren.” Jake stalked back to the school, throwing the door open with a wild bang as he went back in.
It was completely unfair to hate Saxon as much as I hated him at that moment, but I hated him anyway.
I got in and slammed the door hard.
“Great. I can see you’re still in a good mood.” He peeled out.
“You wanted to do this, be with me. Did you think I was always nice?” I asked, my mind reeling. Jake said I had broken his heart.
“No, Bren, but I didn’t think all of your evil would be directed my way,” he griped.
“Are you saying there’s someone more deserving of my evil?” I popped one eyebrow up at him.
He grinned. “Nope. I would like to argue that your rage would make more sense if you let me be a little worse and earn it.” He reached across the seat and put his hand on my thigh, then inched up. Under normal circumstances, I would have swatted his hand away, but I just settled back and looked at him expectantly.
Saxon pulled over immediately and took off his seatbelt. “Get in the backseat and give me fifteen minutes. You won’t regret it.” He was wickedly good looking, his eyes bright, an eager smile on his mouth.
I thought about Jake and Nikki slobbering on each other in the hallway. I thought about the look of disgust he gave me when he saw Saxon’s car, how he had walked back, presumably to her, with intention that I didn‘t want to consider. The white hot rage roared through me again. I clicked my seatbelt off and climbed back.
Saxon followed. The road wasn’t often used, but it wasn’t exactly deserted.
“What’s your big plan?” I felt a shred of nervousness.
“Just picking up where we left off.” His fingers flicked the button of my jeans and tugging down on the zipper. Just the sound made me feel a strange excitement, and I pressed my hips to him.
He kissed me, frenetic little biting kisses that made me feel happily irritated. It was dizzying to be this close to Saxon. Before, I had been unable to turn my brain off, but now I was so pissed, I felt like I couldn’t think straight. Then I just stopped thinking. I let the fury crash over me, and it was nicely mind-numbing. I kissed him back, pulled his mouth to mine eagerly and pushed against him with my hips again. It felt bad, but I also wanted it. Like a guilty pleasure.
His hands worked around my waist, his fingers pressing under the line of my underwear before he snaked down, up and in with a movement so quick it made me catch my breath. He moved fast, his hands unlike Jake’s. I didn’t want to think about Jake at that moment, but my mind wouldn’t let me stop the comparison. Saxon dipped in and out fast and moved immediately to the place that made me squirm. He kissed me hard and deep, matching his hand to his tongue somehow, and I felt the loopy slide just before the fall. It all happened so fast; suddenly I was crying out and shaking and then Saxon pulled away, grinned, and climbed back to the front seat.
I lay in the back, panting, my pants still undone, my underwear strangely bunched.
“Bren, stop slacking,” Saxon said, his smile wide with triumph. “We’re gonna miss practice. Put your pants on.”
I zipped up and righted myself before climbing next to him, feeling a little woozy. What had just happened? When I was with Saxon, I felt like it was always a challenge, a clawing, drag-out fight. Even my orgasm felt a little like something he’d won somehow.
He seemed completely happy about the whole thing. He even whistled. It wasn’t until he looked over at me that his face fell.
“Bren, you’re killing me. Didn’t you come?” He was clearly irritated.
“I did.” I wanted to put the emphasis on the ‘I,’ but that seemed kind of ridiculous.
“What’s your deal, then?” he asked. “That was nice of me. I did it for you.”
I took a deep breath, but I can’t say if I chickened out or not. How was I supposed to answer that?
“It was nice. That I came,” I said haltingly.
“I guess it’s just weird to have all three of us here?” he asked nastily. He had screeched into the parking lot.
“Jake?” I took a deep breath, but my head spun more. “Fat chance. He’s with someone else.”
“I can guarantee you, he doesn’t want to be,” Saxon growled. He banged his fists on the steering wheel.
“How can you be so sure?” I was excited that he’d even given me that glimmer of hope. I had my theories, but I wanted to hear what Saxon had to say.