I checked my reflection in the mirror under the sunvisor in Mom’s car. I looked really beautiful. I imagined all of the girls in all of the schools across the country doing the same thing on prom night; looking at their reflections and seeing a more beautiful version of their everyday selves. Maybe that was why there was so much sex on prom night. Maybe it was just the byproduct of the heightened vision of ourselves that we got that night.
Before I could sort out the American teenage sexual motivation, we were home and Mom was hurrying me in. I almost had a heart attack when I heard tires crunch in the driveway, since I was far from ready, but it was Thorsten. He’d left work early to see me off. And he’d picked me up a new memory card for my camera. Who could ask for a better dad?
Mom shooed him away and put the dress over my head, then slid the heels onto my feet, careful to maneuver around my French pedicure. She tweaked and pressed and pinched and then I was done.
And she was teary-eyed.
“Oh, Brenna.” She held my hands and pulled away to look at me. “You look so beautiful.”
Then Thorsten came in and started snapping pictures until I heard the crunch of gravel again and knew that it was Jake. I felt my heart beat fast and my breath came quick.
Jake!
Mom and Thorsten left me to get the door, and I peeked out of my room. He looked amazing. He looked like he should wear a suit every day. It fit perfectly, and the brown was a great color on him. I had picked him an ivory button-down and a blue tie. He had dress socks and new shoes, good Kenneth Cole shoes that were expensive, but Jake didn’t even bat an eyelash. He promised he would put himself completely in my hands when it came to fashion.
Which was a smart move on Jake’s part.
Mom was going wild, pulling at his jacket and oohing and aahing over the hand-stitched mother-of-pearl buttons and the real silk lining. Jake laughed good-naturedly.
I put on a last spray of perfume and some more lipstick, then double checked my reflection. I looked like I could have been at a ball for the French aristocracy, pre-revolution. I took a deep breath and stepped out of my room.
“Holy shit.” Jake’s mouth swung open. Mom and Thorsten looked at him in surprise. “Sorry. Excuse me.” Jake turned bright red. “But, seriously, wow. She looks amazing,” he said softly to them.
Which was sneaky and smart. Because Mom and Thorsten forgot that Jake just swore and got all teary over me. Then they placed us in front of the fireplace and took pictures, and moved us outside, in front of the azalea bushes and snapped more.
“You look so beautiful,” Jake said lowly against my ear.
“You look pretty great yourself.” I squeezed his hand. He smiled, then held up a cardboard box.
“Your corsage.”
And if I had to describe why Jake was so completely, unexpectedly perfect, I could have done it shallowly by explaining what was perfect about the corsage. It was a cream colored orchid with just a little bluish purple inside of it, just enough that it hinted at my dress color. It was a wrist corsage, but he had asked that the florist put a ribbon over the rubber bracelet piece that holds it on your wrist. So when he slid it on, he could tie it and it looked gorgeous and old-fashioned and simple. And absolutely perfect.
I could have been easily talked into skipping the whole prom and just making out in his truck for a few hours, but Jake had no such deviant thoughts, at least that he was letting me know about. I kissed Mom and Thorsten, and we waved as Jake’s truck pulled out.
“I’m excited. This is going to be a good night. I like your necklace,” he added.
It was the silver ’B’ he’d given me for my birthday that fall. I replaced the ribbon with one that matched my dress, and it looked great. And I had on my posey ring, the one I didn’t take off anymore.
“I’m excited, too.” I wasn’t about to admit just how willing I had been, seconds before, to ditch the whole prom thing and just make out with him.
The place was a good half an hour away. Sussex County didn’t offer many upscale venues, so we had to go to nearby rich Bergen to find a really nice banquet hall. It was well worth the drive. The place was old and stately and gorgeous.
Jake pulled in and came around to open my door. He helped me out and then kissed me.
He put a hand on his chest and shook his head. “I swear to God, you look so beautiful it makes my heart hurt.”
“Thank you.” I smiled and blushed, and smoothed my hands over my skirt. “I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it.” He pulled me to him. “I love you.”
His mouth moved over mine hungrily, and I felt his hands tighten at my waist like he was willing himself to keep them right there and not go roving. I smiled a little, realizing that he was just as eager to roll around in the truck as I was. Finally he pulled away, his mouth smudged with lipstick. I found a tissue in my purse and blotted his mouth, then put more on my own lips in his rearview mirror.
“Ready?” I asked.
“Hell, yeah.” He folded his hand in mine. “Let’s go.”
The coolest thing about prom is seeing people you see a thousand times at school in their everyday clothes, but all decked out in their fanciest dresses and tuxes, dancing and going crazy. It’s like an alternate reality that lasts just one night.
I didn’t know the kids at Vo Tech as well, but I knew enough people from hanging out with Jake that I was comfortable there. Jake was obviously really proud and wouldn’t let go of my arm when we walked around and talked to everyone.
My heart jumped a little when I saw Nikki glaring from across the room. She was wearing a tight black halter dress. She looked really sexy and really pissed. For a minute, I was nervous that Saxon had come to prom with her, but that thought passed pretty quickly. He told me that he and Nikki only hooked up once or twice after the breakup, before they both got bored and moved on. She was here now with some guy I vaguely remembered from a motocross race Jake had been in.
“Hey Jake.” She made an attempt to brush past me. Jake pulled me next to him before she could.
“Hi, Nikki.” He was careful to keep his voice polite but uninterested. “You know Brenna. My girlfriend,” he said pointedly.
“A bunch of us are going to the shore after prom. Wanna come?” She pushed her considerable cleavage towards him. She was completely ignoring the fact that I was there.
“No thanks,” he said and started to maneuver me away. “Sorry,” he said in my ear.
And I tried to hold it together, because tonight was already great and Nikki was just a blip, and I had started everything when I broke up with Jake and threw myself into Saxon’s arms, so I had no just cause to feel what I did.
But I felt it. My entire body went shaky.
Jake noticed, grabbed my hand in his, and led me outside where there was a quaint garden, some fountains, koi-filled manmade ponds, and the requisite twinkle-light-lit gazebo.
“Are you alright?” He smoothed his hands over my arms.
I nodded and blinked back tears.
“Really?” He cupped my chin and looked into my eyes.
“It’s just skanky to think that you…had sex with her.” I said it, even though I knew it was going to tear through some of the night’s romance.
“I wish I hadn’t,” he said adamantly. He took his hands off of my face and stuck them in his pockets. “I wish you hadn’t broken up with me.”
Maybe he wasn’t blaming me, but maybe he was. I wasn’t sure, and it didn’t really matter after all.
“But it was different.” I felt like I should just stop talking about it, but I couldn’t.
“I know.” His mouth was hard. “You didn’t have sex with Saxon.”
“No.” I shook my head. “It’s different because I cared about Saxon. I wouldn’t have risked anything between you and me with someone I didn’t care about.”