Sophia jerked me from my financial concerns when she blurted out rather unexpectedly, “I had sex with Tyler.”
Poppy reached for both of our hands. “Oh no, this is a discussion best had with ice cream.”
Once we were each sitting behind a huge dish of sugar and cream, Poppy and I turned our undivided attention to Sophia.
“Details.” I said.
“I really like him. I don't think he's my Shawn or Bastian, but we really click and we were both ready.”
“How was it?” Poppy asked.
“The first time was a bit awkward and painful, but each time since it's better and better.”
“Wait, how many times have you done it?” Poppy asked.
“Six.” A smile spread over Sophia's face, “It's incredible.”
I felt overly warm again just thinking about Bastian and me together especially since the wait was over. One look at Poppy, and I knew she was thinking about Shawn. My attention turned back to Sophia.
“I remember playing Barbies together, killing Ken in any way we could—the more gruesome the better. And our club where no boys were allowed and the love of our young lives was Mr. Snuffles, our clubhouse hamster. But we're getting older now and sex is a natural part of growing up. I'm happy for you, Sophia. Happy if you're happy.”
“I really am. Have you guys taken the plunge?” She asked me.
“No, but we're just waiting until after my birthday,” I said.
Poppy's eyes flew to mine. “You didn't tell me that. Your birthday is tomorrow.”
I grinned like the cat who ate the canary. “I know.”
“Why didn't you tell me?” Poppy sounded almost hurt.
“Well, we just recently discussed it.”
Poppy was silent for a minute and I realized that she didn't just sound hurt, she was hurt. “You haven't known each other very long. Are you sure you're ready?”
Her words stung, even though her comment was a valid one, because there was a small part of me that also wondered if I was rushing into something with Bastian. My reply sounded more confident than I was feeling. “I am. I want him, he wants me. We also talked about next year. Since we're both going to Columbia, we decided to get a place together. Financially, it'll be a challenge, but Bastian has a trust and I've applied for grants.”
“No way!” Sophia said in genuine surprise.
“Yeah. It's a huge step, but it just feels right.” And it did feel right: scary, new and uncharted, but right.
Sophia wasn't on the same page. “I get it, I do, but you're young and your feelings could change. Maybe you should do the dorm for the first year and see what happens with you and Bastian before embarking on something as huge as an apartment.”
“I agree with Sophia. You're in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, as wonderful as Bastian is. You may feel differently six months from now, or a year.”
I couldn't say how I knew but I did, my feelings for Bastian would never change. Trying to explain that wouldn't be easy and would most likely only cause more concern, so instead I conceded the point and agreed to rethink the apartment idea. Luckily this appeased them enough for Sophia to move the conversation away from me.
“Wait, Poppy, you never answered that original question—when?” Sophia prodded.
“The weekend after Thanksgiving, our ski trip, we've decided that's the weekend. And I am so ready.” She said this on an exaggerated exhale, which effectively lightened the mood and made Sophia and me burst out into laughter.
“Whatever Bastian is planning for my birthday, I'm really glad we're all going to be together.”
“Hear, hear,” Poppy said. “Now let's go shopping.”
***
That night I sat in my room looking at the dress I picked out for my birthday surprise. It was a Grecian-inspired drape-style satin dress with a chiffon overlay which draped over the right shoulder before falling down the back to mid-thigh. What made the dress even more special was that Poppy and Sophia bought it for me: their birthday gift to me. I couldn't wait for all of us to get dressed up and more, to finally learn what Bastian had planned. It was only Tuesday and the birthday surprise wasn't until Saturday. The suspense was killing me.
A knock at the door pulled my attention from the upcoming weekend. “Come in.”
You could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw Aunt Kim standing in the doorway of my bedroom. In the almost ten years since I'd lived here, she had never once voluntarily come into my room. I cleaned it, I put away my laundry and if something broke, I fixed it myself.
Her attention flickered to my dress and I noticed some emotion flash across her expression. It was gone too fast for me to discern what it was. I didn't greet her, because I wasn't sure my shocked brain was up to the task. Not to mention I was still pissed about the conversation in the kitchen the night of the Halloween dance.
“I wanted to talk to you about your birthday.”
I couldn't imagine what she wanted to talk about. The idea that she was actually interested in my birthday was completely improbable. There was a part of me though, as silly as it was, that hoped she really was interested: that she felt bad about her treatment of me and was willing to make the effort to include me in her family. My heart leapt at the thought, but I schooled my expression before I replied, “Okay.”
“You're turning eighteen tomorrow, which makes you legally an adult, and I want you to think about moving out.”
My overexcited heart stopped pounding for a second before it plunged into my stomach. I should have seen this coming and cursed myself for allowing even that small bit of hope into my heart. “Excuse me?”
“Look, I did right by my sister when I took you in, but there's no reason for you to continue to live here. You aren't any happier being here than I'm happy about having you here. I want my life and my family back.”
No matter how hardened I believed myself to be, I was clearly not hardened enough. My heart ached at her words.
“And Uncle Eddie?”
Anger flashed over her face. “Leave him out of this. Did you know he's been having some trouble at work—clients up and leaving him. Rumor has it they're getting pressured by the Rosses. I know you've been seeing their son. Your shit is putting his livelihood in jeopardy.”
I always knew my aunt's treatment of me was wrong, but after that conversation with my uncle, I now understood the root cause. She had been jealous of my mother. My temper stirred to know that her jealousy for my mom shifted to the shoulders of the eight-year-old girl I had been.
“I was eight when my mother died, when I lost the only family I ever knew. You could never see that I was just a child, like Carol and Deena. I had nothing to do with whatever drama happened between you and my mother. But you've spent the past ten years jealous of a dead woman and have hated me for the sin of looking like the woman your husband loved first.”
She reacted by slapping me, hard across the face, but instead of tears, I only felt fury.
“What's happening with the Rosses isn't about me, it's about their son. I'm just a means to an end. The Rosses don't play fair, but I apparently am more confident in Uncle Eddie's ability to handle this little bump in the road than you are. How can you look at yourself in the mirror knowing you took your spite out on an innocent child?”
She turned an unnatural shade of red. I walked to the door and held it open.
“I'll be gone tonight, but until then this is still my room, so get the fuck out.”
As soon as she was gone, I slammed and locked the door before I slid down it. I was so mad I was shaking and there were angry tears in my eyes. Never in my life had I ever experienced an emotion so vividly that it physically affected me. It took a good twenty minutes for me to calm down enough to call Bastian.
“Hey, beautiful.”
“Do you want a roommate?”
I had no doubt that the tone of my voice gave it away that something was seriously wrong. “What? What the hell happened?” He demanded.