She moved to her window and looked down. Jake was working hard as the sun set behind him over the water. She never thought she would covet what Kari or Sicily had, but the relationship between Jake and Kari had started out shaky and built to something incredible. They finished each other’s sentences and looked at one another as if no one else was in the room.
"Such a fucking pansy." Lisa walked to her bed and flopped down, her desire to have something like that with Marc leaving her weak and disgusted.
She laid there for a while until a soft knock at her door pulled her from her internal ramblings.
"It's open."
"You decent?"
"Depends on your definition." She chuckled as Kari opened the door and walked in. She closed it behind her and sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching over and brushing Lisa's hair from her face.
"How long have we known each other?" Kari asked.
Lisa rolled on her side, pulling herself into the fetal position and reaching over to flop her arm across her friend’s legs.
"Since freshman year."
"And what about my life don't you know?"
"Nothing. I mean, I know everything. We're best friends."
"No shit. So spill. What's going on with you? It's been three months of you walking around here like a zombie. Talk to me or I'm going to sic Jake on you."
"You'd share Jake?" Lisa looked up and laughed as a pillow landed on her face. She pushed it off and laughed again. "Dude, look... I'm not sure how to figure out what's going on myself. It's a waste of time to get you guys involved in something I don't understand yet. I just need to work through these feelings inside of me and when the time's right, I'll talk to you, okay?"
Kari reached over and brushed her fingers through Lisa's hair again. "Okay, but I'm worried. Sicily is worried too. I'm here and I can help figure it all out if you'll talk to me, but... I'll wait until you're ready."
"I had sex with a really hot client today. He's exactly the type of man I want between my legs." Lisa shrugged, her voice void of emotion.
"Sounds delicious. Why do you sound like it was a chore?"
"It was. All I can think about is..." She rolled onto her back, a long sigh leaving her as she pressed her hands over her face.
"Marc?" Kari asked, reaching over and squeezing Lisa's forearm.
"Yes. I haven't been able to actually go through with fucking someone since he left. Today I forced myself to and all I could picture was..."
She pulled her hands down, glancing at her best friend. No need to finish the statement. The pale look on Kari's face gave credence to her friend understanding.
"He's your brother. I shouldn't be talking about this with you."
"I understand your feelings though. Have you talked to him? Are you guys texting or anything?" Kari laid back on the bed, turning to face Lisa.
"No. We had a long talk before he left and decided that our worlds were far too different to try anything. And we were right. I'm out of college and in the prime of my life. He's still got three years left in school."
"That's just activities that you guys are going through though. Those things don't define who you are and who you can love."
"I don't love him."
"I'm not saying that you do. I'm saying that obviously there is something between you guys that hasn't been explored. Maybe part of getting past the what ifs is exploring what could be."
"He's probably dating someone, Kari. He's really hot and he's a bad boy. Everyone wants one of those."
"He's not a bad boy. He's a whore."
"Yes. My favorite type of bad boy."
"I'll never understand you." Kari laughed, reaching over to pull Lisa into a hug. The door opened and Sicily stuck her head in.
"Oh, so you guys decide to make out and I don't get an invite? Beautiful."
"As if. I'm a hot dog at the ball park kinda girl, Sis. You know that." Lisa moved from the bed, standing up and stretching. "I was just whining to Kari about not fucking Marc while he was here."
"On that note... I'm out." Kari laughed and got up, moving from the room like her butt was on fire.
"That’s what's bothering you?"
"I guess. I can't shake him."
"Then go get him."
"You mean go back to New York and bring him back with me?"
"What do you think you should do?" Sicily moved to stand in front of her, the look on her friend’s face comforting. She didn't grow up with sisters, but Kari and Sicily were pretty damn close to filling those spots.
"I need to see if fucking him is all I think it is."
"Is it just about the dirty?"
"The dirty? How old are you? The dirty in adult speak is fucking. Say it with me."
Sicily rolled her eyes and moved to the door. "So vulgar. Come eat dinner and let's plan a trip to New York for the early fall."
"I'll be right there." Lisa turned back to the window, Jake no longer on the porch below. Waiting until her friends could go would be more comfortable, but she didn't have that long. Whatever was unraveling within her was changing her world for the worst. Pretty soon sex would seem like dry stale toast. The horror of the thought alone stabbed at her.
She touched the glass, her fingers spreading across the shiny surface as her mind moved through the images of Marc behind her, his hands so controlling, his demands beautifully acceptable. She was usually in charge, most men bending the knee and beckoning to her every whim, but something inside of her whispered of a different promise where Marc was concerned. Surely he would be the one to bring her to heel, to drag her into something so powerful and overwhelming that she would do or give anything to be a part of it again - if even for a moment.
But could she handle it if he did? Would she accept it?
"Hey, Kari said to come get you." The masculine voice behind her caught her attention. She turned and smiled at Jake.
"Thanks." She moved toward him as he walked down the hall. "I sold the big white house across the lake from us. Billionaire from New York needing a weekend getaway."
"More New Yorkers? What's the world turning into? Our little paradise is soon to have an overpopulation of strip malls and then what? High rise buildings? I shudder to think." Jake looked over his shoulder and smirked as they walked into the brightness of the kitchen.
"I think it's the overpopulation of bakeries that should be our first concern. Judy's was more than enough." Lisa grabbed a hand towel as Sicily turned to get it. She twisted it around in the air and released it, popping her friend’s butt.
"Hey. There should be a good bakery on every corner. Besides, men like women with a little junk in the trunk." Sicily shook her hips and Lisa laughed.
Her sweet friend had put on a few pounds since arriving in Maine, but Lisa wouldn't be the one to tell her. They had put the finishing touches on Sicily's Bakery at the end of the spring and it was doing well. Both bakeries in town were working in tandem together, each serving different options to the people of Bar Harbor.
"You like junk in the trunk, baby?" Kari moved toward Jake, turning and pressing her back to him.