Charlie was always breaking his bones so the raw eggs and milk didn't help at all.
Whenever I made him raw eggs and milk I'd tell him this is for your bones and he'd say but it tastes horrible and I'd say if you didn't have the bones of an old woman maybe things would be different.
Should the phone ring and it's Charlie I will say Charlie you have yourself a great hand on my wall.
Sometimes the doctors have me write poems to see how I'm doing. They tell me to express myself and I tell them it's hard to do when I chafe like this.
Sometimes the doctors want me in writing so I have no choice in the matter.
The poem I wrote last night was the best one yet.
The answering machine is like a sandwich.
My uniform is like coleslaw.
So what the fuck is wrong with the air conditioning.
The conversation with myself started when Charlie was away at camp. He was away two whole summers and it was me and Mother alone in the house without him. I remember being alone in the house with Mother and sweating and not having anyone to watch movies or boxing matches on Friday nights with. Mother said she couldn't afford air conditioning because her boss touched her inappropriately so she got herself fired instead. Mother said she didn't know what she was going to do with herself. I told her I was sweating and if I continued sweating I would dehydrate and die. I said maybe she should think about that for a while.
This is when Mother gave me money for the ice cream truck.
The ice cream truck wasn't the same without Charlie behind me running after it. I was always the faster runner even though Charlie was older and responsible.
Whenever I would get to the ice cream truck without Charlie the ice cream truck would say where is your brother Charlie today.
I would say it's just me today. I would say Charlie is at camp getting better.
That must be nice for him truck said.
I said I wouldn't know and can I have a lousy Popsicle please.
I would explain to Mother why we needed air conditioning every night during sandwiches and coleslaw. I would say Injury Alaska is a desert in the summertime. I would say all of downstate Alaska is a desert and people everywhere are dying because of the lack of air conditioning. I would pull down my pants to show her the chafed parts and say look at what you're doing to me Mother. This is when Mother would say you hold your situation young man and I will get you the powder.
Should the phone ring it might be Charlie from camp. Charlie would call us from camp a couple of times each summer to let us know how he was. He was always good or if he wasn't good he was getting better.
He never said what he was getting better at so I assumed it was either boxing or meditating.
I pictured camp near a lake surrounded by a thick forest. There were huts and barracks where the campers lived and a mess hall where they ate their meals and watched television. All the huts and barracks had air conditioning as did the mess hall. Charlie had two friends he would meditate and spar with. One was especially good at meditating and the other at boxing so it was always good for Charlie to be away at camp like that. The camp counselors lived in a nearby hotel and were paddled in every morning on blue canoes from up the lake somewhere.
These counselors wore white coats and clipboards and had the best air conditioners in all of Alaska back at their hotel. All of the campers hated them for that Charlie especially.
Mother didn't let me go to the same camp as Charlie. She said she couldn't afford it but maybe next summer I could go. I asked her if we could visit Charlie at camp and she said they didn't allow visitors so the answer was no.
I never went to Charlie's camp or any other camp for that matter.
Should the phone ring and it's Charlie from camp I will say the hello how are you and hear what he has to say for himself. One summer Charlie said that camp was strange and that he might want to come home instead.
I said the hello how are you and waited for a response.
Charlie from camp said it's Charlie from camp calling.
I said Charlie how is camp.
Charlie said camp is strange and I might want to come home instead.
I said what is strange about it Charlie.
Charlie said every Monday night she juggles. Lemons oranges rolled up socks it doesn't matter what she juggles it. We'll put a kazoo in her mouth and have her blow tunes like You Are My Sunshine or The Tennessee Waltz. She loves it and I am afraid of her.
I said why are you afraid of her Charlie.
Charlie said Tuesdays it's the guitar. She's all right until she tries finger picking but she gets frustrated and starts slapping herself in the head. Beer calms her down most nights. Then she'll strum and strum until she breaks a string or we take the guitar away from her.
I said they let you have beer there Charlie.
Charlie said Wednesday night is cabaret night. She'll do a striptease down to a g-string and pasties. She gets this animal look in her eyes and gets us worked up so all anyone wants to do is go off into their rooms and do what feels good.
I said like what the dog used to do when he humped on us Charlie.
Charlie said exactly like that.
I said to Charlie who are you talking about Charlie.
Charlie said the best is Thursday when she does her ventriloquist act. She has a puppet named Ginger dressed up as a prostitute. She swings a fox stole around with one hand and holds her hip with the other. She has a great ear like yours. I bet Mother would say the same thing if she were here.
I said maybe she wouldn't because she's unemployed again.
Then I said can you tell which ear is the great one Charlie.
Charlie said Fridays most of us take or leave. She tries to impersonate famous movie stars singers politicians but it gets boring and we fall asleep.
I said I didn't sleep so well last night Charlie. I was sweating and Mother still won't let us have an air conditioner.
Charlie said that sounds like Mother to me.
Charlie said Saturdays are quiet. A lot of us don't even show up Saturdays. She'll either pantomime or dance ballet. She's graceful and it makes her happy so why bother.
I said it's good she's happy Charlie.
Charlie said we mud wrestle Sundays. We dress her up in a bikini and she takes us on one by one and it goes on for hours.
This is when I asked Charlie when he was coming home.
Charlie said I have to go now it's lights out time.
I said okay Charlie but how are you doing.
Charlie said I'm getting better I think.
I said that's good Charlie and hung up in his face.
Maybe it was more than two summers in a row he was gone for or maybe it was years he was gone and not summers. I think it may've been years because I can remember being alone with Mother in the house more than I can remember being with Charlie and Mother in the house all at the same time.
The summers Charlie was away at camp were glorious. I could walk around the house and not worry about meditating or boxing. I didn't have to wake up early and tiptoe out of the house so as not to wake up Mother. The one time we did wake up Mother she yelled out what the fuck is going on out there and Charlie and I had to run back to our rooms and pretend we were sleeping. With Charlie gone I slept late every day like a normal kid. I didn't have to go jogging with Charlie and I didn't have to hold up the laundry bag so he could pummel it to death. I didn't have to make Charlie his breakfast drink and I didn't have to play games with him which he would never let me win anyway.
What I'd do instead is watch television all day long and do what felt good.