Charlie looked ridiculous in his crew-cut and I was the idiot with the helmet.
This is why whenever we'd box Charlie would only pummel me in the stomach.
Everyone in Injury knew that my skull was crushed by the doctors and everyone felt sorry for me because of it. Every year they would have a radio-thon to raise money for my helmets and pills. Everyone knew that Mother was unemployed and couldn't afford my helmets and pills on her own.
One year they had me sing and do some of my many performances on the radio-thon. Mother and Charlie took me down to the studios of KINJ early in the morning so I could rehearse. Mother was especially excited and said this was my big break and I shouldn't blow it.
So what I did was the SS officer and the African guinea man and both the bullfighter in lahve with Maria Conchita Daniela Esposa and the Chinese Karate fighter saying asshole you have disgraced my sister's honor.
After that I sang a song about the kamby bolongo. Charlie and I had made up the song and the lyrics were the best we'd done.
I sang it exactly like an African guinea man would and everyone said doesn't he have a great ear.
The radio DJ asked me questions like it was an interview right after the performance.
The DJ said that was lovely.
I said everyone knows that.
The DJ said we're here to raise money for you today.
I said I know that too.
He said last year we raised two thousand dollars and we're hoping for the same this year.
I said thank you because why bother anymore.
Then the DJ asked me how many helmets would I need this year.
I said it depends on how many times I lose one or Charlie steals one from me.
The DJ said Charlie is your brother is he not.
I said he is I think.
Then the DJ said is Charlie still boxing.
This is when I said nothing and instead let the dead air get all over everyone in the booth.
Everyone in Injury was on the floor after my performance and when they got up they all donated money so that I could have my helmets and pills like always.
This is how it is in Injury. I would walk down the streets and always there was someone coming up to me to make sure I was okay. Everyone in Injury thought I was going to get hurt and die right there on the sidewalk and no one wanted to see that happen.
These are the good people of Injury.
Mother is a lot like everyone else in Injury Alaska which is why she is probably still there.
Most everyone has two children and names one of them Charlie.
The people of Injury have their children sleep in opposite rooms and won't let them sit next to each other at the table. They make them play tic-tac-toe and they give them pills every night before they go to sleep.
They have them watch movies about the African guinea man because it's educational.
For two whole weeks everyone in Injury was either an African guinea man or overseer or slave catcher depending on if your name was Charlie or if your Mother was unemployed. So if you were a slave catcher and you saw an African guinea man running away you could tie him to a tree and chop his foot off for him.
The people of Injury would sing songs during the commercials and dance jigs all over the floor and would sometimes get themselves fired instead of working one job like normal people.
The people of Injury would gather at the kamby bolongo and sing and dance and chase after the ice cream truck on the other side of the river. At night almost everyone needs powder for the chafed parts.
If your skull was crushed by the doctors when you were getting yourself born the people of Injury are especially good to you.
Everyone listens to KINJ at night on their big fancy radios if they are Charlie and their small rotten transistors if they are me.
The people of Injury Alaska yearn for me.
Should the phone ring and it's Injury Alaska on the other end I will say the hello how are you and will tell the good people of Injury to hold on I'm coming.
Yesterday I drew a stick baby getting caught in his Mother's stick tubes. The Mother is on a table with her legs spread open and between them is a stick doctor with stick pliers about to crush the baby's head.
I never draw the good people of Injury Alaska. There is no way to capture them in stick figures and this is something we can all thank God for.
I might draw a stick figure masturbating in a room for a bunch of stick doctors on the other side of a window. I might have him picking up a bottle of baby oil in one drawing and then lying down on his bed passed out from exhaustion in the next.
Sometimes the wrong number is better than the right one. Sometimes it's not even a contest between right and wrong numbers. Sometimes it's like Charlie is the right number and I am the wrong one and Charlie has me up against the ropes and is pummeling me with body blows.
This is why God invented wrong numbers in the first place because he knew we couldn't ourselves.
Mother caught us one time in her room with me against the stole ropes and Charlie pummeling me into oblivion. She said what the fuck are you doing Charlie but Charlie was too busy pummeling me to hear so Mother climbed up into the ring and swatted him with her purse. This was Mother as the referee committing an act of kindness.
I think that was my birthday so right after Mother swatted Charlie we had a happy birthday cake in the kitchen together. Mother and Charlie sang the happy birthday song though I couldn't believe a word of it given what Mother said about how she gave birth to us.
The way they always sang the happy birthday song is Charlie would sing lead and Mother harmony which proves my point about Charlie again. When they were finished Charlie had to help me blow out the candles because I still had the wind knocked out of me from the pummeling.
The great thing about stick figures is you can make them do anything. I have an African guinea man stick figure running away from a plantation and into a thick stick forest. Behind him are two stick slave catchers on stick horses with stick bloodhounds running after him.
In the next drawing I have the stick slave catchers tying the stick guinea man to a tree and then I have them chopping his little stick foot off.
Should the phone ring I will ask for a clarification of the rules. I need to know what it is I can and cannot do again. Sometimes I think it's good they took my uniform from me because of the air conditioning and the sweat. But I think I might want some shorts to wear and I can't remember if shorts are allowed by the rules. The doctor who explained it to me mumbled like Mother gave him too many pills.
They didn't say why they took my uniform away from me when they took it away like that. I was in the middle of masturbating which made it awkward for some of them I think.
I remember the last time I got to wear my baseball uniform. It was the last day of the season and I was on the bench again because I might get hurt and die otherwise. They gave me a clipboard just like the doctors in white coats have and told me to keep score which I didn't know how to do. So what I did was play tic-tac-toe with myself instead. Mother and Charlie showed up and sat in the bleachers to watch me keep score like this for the last game. Mother was unemployed that day and Charlie was home from camp and both of them said look at the sacrifices we make for you.