I don't remember what Mother said to this but it wouldn't surprise me if she said we all have to make sacrifices so the answer is no. She probably said millions of people don't have air conditioning and for millions of years people didn't have air conditioning so why don't you make yourself useful and shut the fuck up.
This is another reason we can all thank God that we weren't one of the poor bastards who lived in a world without air conditioning before air conditioning. You wonder how people survived without air conditioning before air conditioning. You wonder if people had to drink extra water so they wouldn't dehydrate and die from all the sweating.
You wonder how much powder people needed back then.
Charlie and I would have to sit naked in our living room because it was too hot otherwise. We promised not to look at each other's situations though sometimes we couldn't help it.
Charlie's situation was like the rest of him meaning you looked at it and said whatever.
It was so hot sometimes Charlie called it an inferno which it certainly was. He said it's like purgatory and Hades in here combined. He said we should all get used to it because the judgment was coming and this was like a preview of the everlasting hereafter.
Charlie Charlie Charlie is what I'd say whenever he'd say things like that.
There is almost no way to draw a stick air conditioner. I have tried many times and it never comes out right.
I want to draw the perfect stick air conditioner this way when the doctor comes in here next I can point to it and say what does that remind you of.
Charlie and I also watched submarine movies because sometimes you can't find boxing or Chinese karate movies on and you have to do something.
We'd pretend we were submariners ourselves and we'd say things like reverse the starboard engines and man overboard port side.
Charlie said he might want to join the navy and I told him he had no chance. Charlie couldn't swim and you can't have someone like that in the navy.
We were so crazy for submarine movies that I would tell Charlie to keep his port up instead of saying keep your left up. I would scream from the corner watch out for an overhand starboard but even then Charlie would get himself knocked out instead of doing what I said.
The doctor who comes in here has a white coat and clipboard and I can never understand what he says to me half the time. Sometimes it's because of the words and the rest of the time it's his voice. His voice is like a horrible air conditioner that makes more noise than it blows out cold air. It's the kind of air conditioner that sounds like torture it sounds like a bird flew into the back of the air conditioner and is being ripped apart in there. Whenever this happens the air conditioner doesn't work the way it should which is my point exactly.
This is how the doctor's voice sounds to me half the time.
Should the phone ring I hope it's Charlie. I have spoken the hello how are you with too many callers since the last time I spoke with him. I am ready now to do it with Charlie.
When they let me leave here I want to return to my native home of Injury Alaska alongside the banks of the kamby bolongo.
Back to my people waiting for me.
Charlie and I would sometimes go down to the kamby bolongo to fish and swim instead of training or meditating. What we'd do is wake up while it was still dark out and tiptoe out of the house even though Mother wasn't home most of the time anyway. For two whole summers Mother wasn't home at all. What happened was one day Charlie and I were on the living room couch watching the movie about the African guinea man and waiting for Mother to come home and bring us our sandwiches and coleslaw and what happened was she never did.
Charlie and I watched the whole movie because Mother liked to come home and test us to see if we were paying attention. She would say I want you two to pay attention to the movie instead of fooling around. According to Mother boxing and meditating was fooling around so why bother. She would ask us who the African guinea man was and we'd tell her his African guinea name and then his real one. Then she'd ask us what would happen to the slaves when they ran away and we'd tell her they'd get their feet chopped off or they would get tied to the whipping post and whipped. She also wanted to know why it was important we watch this so we'd tell her why and she would say that's wrong don't you two know anything and we would say we're sorry Mother but we don't.
Those two summers Mother wasn't home were glorious. Charlie and I could wake up whenever we wanted which usually meant after noon because we were always up late watching movies. Then for breakfast we'd make sandwiches and coleslaw instead of raw eggs and milk because by this time Charlie's boxing career was finished. Charlie was washed up as a boxer because he couldn't keep his head and hands from shaking all the time.
So what we'd do is I made the sandwiches and Charlie made the coleslaw. Mother had taught us how to do this once in case something happened to her. She sat us down at the kitchen table after dinner one time and told us we had to learn how to survive on our own if something happened to her. We said what was going to happen to you Mother and she said she didn't know but it was possible. She said the world was cruel and unusual so we'd have to carry on without her.
After our breakfast of sandwiches and coleslaw we'd sit on the couch and watch television until it was time to go to bed again.
We never went to school because Charlie and I didn't like school and school didn't like us in return. Our teachers would punish us with their sticks and send us home. This is why Mother made us watch the movie about the African guinea man in the first place because it was educational. She said do I have to educate you too on top of being the Mother all the time. She would go to school to yell at the teachers for sending us home. She would say I am the Mother not the school. I gave birth to these two and you are supposed to teach them how to be cruel and unusual.
Mother said to us I don't think I am being unreasonable am I.
Charlie and I knew she didn't expect us to answer so we kept our heads down and let her finish. Sometimes it seemed like Mother was asking us questions but she really wasn't. It was hard to know the difference which is why it was always better to keep your head down. This is when she cursed the school itself and said everything in the world is cruel and unusual and we'll probably all end up on the street someday.
I wanted to ask Mother what street we would end up on but then I realized who I was talking to.
There are holes in the ceiling of this room which remind me of the holes in the ceiling of my bedroom growing up. Sometimes I would count the holes in every tile instead of trying to fall asleep. Sometimes I wouldn't let myself fall asleep until I counted the holes in every tile.
I do the same thing here because I'm not getting any better.
Even when they tell me I'm doing fine and it's nice I'm not sure it is.
This is when I think I might be the African guinea man myself.
The men who hold me aloft are the overseers and the MPs and security guards are the slave catchers who tied me to a tree and chopped off my foot.
Before that happened I was snatched from the trees and sold into slavery and these doctors are the ones who bought me at auction. I was on the platform and the doctors inspected me by combing through my curly hair and checking my gums. I don't know how much they paid for me but I knew right then I had to start making myself useful.