If all the years between had formed a gulf between them, this one kiss in a deserted autumn garden began to forge the bridge.
It was he who drew back, then shook her to the core by grasping both of her hands, bringing them to his lips. “Give me a chance, Dana.”
“You dont know what youre asking. No, you dont,” she said before he could speak. “And I dont know the answer yet. If you want one that matters, youre going to have to give me time to figure it out.”
“Okay.” He kept her hands in his, but stepped back. “Ill wait. But I meant what I said before, about helping you. It hasnt anything to do with this.”
“I have to think about that, too.”
“All right.”
But there was one thing she knew, Dana realized as they walked back for his car. She wasnt still in love with him. They were, as hed said, different people now. And what she felt for him now made the love shed had for the boy seem as pale and thin as morning mist.
* * *
JORDAN let himself into the house, switched off the porch light. It had been a very long time, he reflected, since anyone had left a light on for him.
His choice, of course. That was what everything came down to. Hed chosen to leave the Valley, to leave Dana, and his friends and all that was familiar.
It had been the right choice; he would stand by that. But he could see now that his method of making it had been the flaw. The flaw that had left a crack in what had been. Just how did a man go about building something new on a faulty foundation?
He started toward the steps, then stopped as Flynn came down them.
“Waiting up for me, Dad? Did I miss curfew?”
“I see your night on the town put you in a cheery mood. Why dont we step back into my office?”
Without waiting for assent, Flynn strolled back to the kitchen. He took a look around. Okay, it was a hideous room, even he could see that. The ancient copper-tone appliances, the ugly cabinets and linoleum that possibly had looked fresh and jazzy in his grandfathers generation.
But he still couldnt visualize how it could, or would, look when Malory got done with it. No more than he could understand why the prospect of ripping it apart and putting it back together made her so happy.
“The guys are coming in Monday to bomb this place.”
“Not a moment too soon,” Jordan commented.
“I was going to get around to it, sooner or later. It wasnt like I was using it. But since Malory, stuff actually gets cooked in here.” He bumped the stove with his foot. “She has a deep and violent hatred for this appliance. Its kind of scary.”
“You brought me back here to talk about Malorys obsession with kitchen appliances?” “No. I wanted cookies. Malory has this rule against eating them in bed. This is something else I cant figure,” he continued as he got a bag of Chips Ahoy out of the cupboard. “But Im an easygoing guy. You want milk?”
“No.”
His friend was wearing gray sweats and a T-shirt that might have been new during his sophomore year of college. His feet were bare, his expression easy.
Looks, Jordan knew, could be very deceiving.
“And youre not easygoing, Hennessy. You pretend to be easygoing so you can get your own way.”
“Im not eating these in bed, am I?”
“Small potatoes, son. You got the woman in your bed.”
“Yeah.” Grinning, Flynn poured a glass of milk, then sat down, stretched out his legs. “I do. Of course, shes up there reading instead of offering me intriguing and varied sexual favors, but I can bide my time.”
Jordan sat. Flynn, he knew from long experience, would get to his point eventually. “So, you want to talk about your sex life? Is this going to be a bragging session, or are you looking for advice?”
“Id rather do it than brag about it, and Im doing just fine on my own. But thanks for the offer.” He dunked a cookie. “So, hows Dana?”
And there would be the point, Jordan thought. “A little anxious about the task at hand, Id say, but diving in headfirst. You must have seen the mountain range of books shes hiking through when you dropped off Moe.”
“Yeah, I got eyestrain just thinking about reading half of them. And otherwise?”
“It looks like shes steadied herself after what happened to her the other night. She may be spooked by it, but shes just as curious. You know how she is.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Why dont you just ask me how things are with us?”
“And pry into your private and personal lives? Me?”
“Up yours, Hennessy.” “Wow, that was so creative, so succinct. I immediately see why youre a successful novelist.”
“Sideways.” And though he had absolutely no desire for one, Jordan pulled a cookie from the bag. “I screwed up with her, all those years ago. „Im going, its been fun, see you around.”
It caused a low burn in his gut to remember it now.
“Maybe not that cut and dried, but close enough.” He bit into the cookie as he studied his friends face. “Did I screw up with you, too?”
“Maybe some.” Flynn nudged Malorys pretty candle aside so he could move the cookie bag between them. “I cant say I didnt feel a little deserted when you took off, but I got why you had to leave. Hell, I was planning on doing the same myself.”
“The business exec, the struggling writer, and the dedicated reporter. Hell of a trio.”
“Yeah, we all got there, too, didnt we? One way or the other. I never left the Valley to do it, but I thought I was going to, so I could look at you, and Brad, as sort of the advance guard. But then again, I wasnt sleeping with you.”
“She was in love with me.”
Flynn waited a beat, absorbed the baffled frustration on Jordans face. “What, did thatlightbulb just go off? Youve got some faulty wiring in there, pal.”
“I knew she loved me.” Disgusted, Jordan shoved up to get a glass of milk after all. “Hell, Flynn, we all loved each other. We were as much family as any who share blood. I didnt know it was the big L for her. How the hell is a guy supposed to know that sort of thing unless the woman looks him in the eye and says, „Im in love with you, you asshole. Which would,” he continued, working up to fury, “have been something youd expect from Dana. Thats just how she does things. But she didnt, so I didnt know. And Im the slug because of it.”
Because hed been concerned by Jordans steady cool, the spike of temper relieved him. “Yeah, but youre a slug for a lot of reasons. I could write up a list.”
“The one Id write up on you would be longer,” Jordan muttered.
“Great, a contest.” Not just angry, Flynn noted as he studied Jordans face, but unhappy. Still, it had to be finished out, had to be said.
“Look, when Lily dumped me and took off for fame and fortune in the big bad city, it hurt. And I wasnt in love with her. You and Brad had that one right. But I thought I was, I was ready to be, and her brushing me off messed me up. Dana was in love with you. Youve got to expect that your going, whatever your reasons, messed her up.”
Jordan sat again, thoughtfully broke a cookie in two. “Youre telling me not to mess her up again.”
“Yeah, thats what Im telling you.”
Chapter Nine
DANA tried working off her sexual and emotional frustration with the books. She focused on the goal, and spent half the night sifting through data, words, notes, and her own speculations about the location of the key.
Her primary reward was a massive headache.
What little sleep she managed to get was restless and unsatisfying. When even Moe failed to perk up her morning mood, she decided to give physical labor a try.
She dropped Moe back at Flynns by simply opening the front door with her key and letting him bullet inside. Since it was still short of nine of a Sunday morning, she imagined the household was sleeping.