“You had to go,” she murmured, “or you wouldnt be who you are.” How could it have taken her so long to see that?
“I hated what I was here, and I was afraid of what I would become if I stayed. I saw myself working in the garage day after day, year after year, and throwing away everything shed worked for, everything shed wanted for me because I couldnt do any better. I was angry and in pain, so wrapped up in both I didnt give a damn about anything else.”
He came back to the edge of his mothers grave, stared down at the flowers. “I didnt know you loved me. I dont know what Id have done differently if I had, but I didnt know. You always seemed so strong, so sure of yourself, so easy with the way things were, that I didnt see inside that.“
He reached out to brush the hair back from her cheek, then dropped his hand again. “Maybe I didnt want to.
With all that happened to her, I didnt have any room to love anyone. But I hurt you, and I meant to. Because it was easier on me if you walked away. Im ashamed of that, and Im sorry for it. You deserved better.”
“I dont know what to say to you. It helps, hearing all this. I know it wasnt easy to tell me.”
“Dont cry, Dana. It rips me.”
“Its a little tough to get through otherwise.” But she swiped her fingers under her eyes. “We were young, Jordan, and we both made mistakes. We cant change what happened, but we can put it in place and try to be friends again.”
“Were grown up now, and weve got today to deal with. You want to be friends, Ill be your friend.“
“Okay.” She managed a wobbly smile and held out a hand.
“Theres just one more thing you need to know.” He clasped her fingers firmly in his. “Im in love with you.”
“Oh.” Her already unsteady heart stumbled. “God.”
“I never got over you. Whatever I felt for you back then, it was like the root. Time went on, Id keep trying to kill that root, but it wouldnt die. Id breeze back into town to see Flynn, catch a glimpse of you, or youd take a shot at me, and what was growing on that root would nudge a little further up from the ground.”
“Damn it, Jordan. Damn it.”
Whatever it cost him, he had to get it out. “This last time, when I knocked on Flynns door and you opened it, it was like that vine shot up another ten feet and wrapped around my throat. Im in love with you, Dana. I cant kill it off, and I wouldnt if I could. So, Im spilling my heart at your feet this time. Its yours, whatever you do with it.”
“What do you think Im going to do, you jackass?” She leaped into his arms. Relief, joy, pleasure rushed through him like a flood as he buried his face in her hair. “Thats what I was hoping youd say.”
THE first thing Dana heard when she walked back into Indulgence was arguing. Just one of the essential elements, in her opinion, that made a house a home. She cocked an ear toward her section of the building, and held up a hand for quiet when Jordan stepped in behind her.
“Im not going to hurt myself. Im perfectly capable of running an electric sander. You just dont want anyone else to play with it.”
“In the first place, its not a toy.” There was such chilly exasperation in Brads voice that Dana had to muffle a snort. “In the second, once Ive finished this area—which I would already have done if you didnt keep nagging—”
“I dont nag.” There were equal parts venom and insult inZoes response.
Dana gave Jordans arm a tug. “You go referee the Irritable Twins,” she whispered. “I need to talk to Malory.”
“Why cant I talk to Malory?”
“A real man wouldnt be afraid to—”
“Oh, stop that.” He hunched his shoulders, jammed his hands in his pockets, and strode off in the direction of the spat.
Dana buffed her nails on her jacket. “Works every time.” Then she huffed out a .breath, squared her own shoulders, and headed in the opposite direction to swallow her serving of crow.
The walls in what would be Malorys main showroom were finished. And looked, Dana decided, just swell. She could hear the music from the radio jingling out from the room beyond, and Malorys singing along with BonnieRaitt .
She was also, Dana noted as she stepped in, grooving. As Malory swiped the roller up and down, her hips bumped to the jumpy Delta beat.
“You got that up so loud just to keep up your rhythm, or to block out the sexual tension from across the hall?”
Malory turned, set down her roller to give her arms a rest. “A little of both. Howre you doing?”
“How do I look?”
“Better.” Malory took a closer study. “In fact, you look pretty damn good.” “I feel pretty damn good. First, Im sorry. I was feeling miserable and I took it out on you. You were only trying to help.”
“Friends do that. Take their moods out on each other, and try to help. Both of you looked so unhappy, Dana.”
“Well, we were. We had reason to be. Whatever Kanes motives, he showed me the truth. I couldnt just bury what happened before, all that hurt. It had to be dealt with, taken out, looked at. Understood, at least.”
“Youre right.”
“No, you were right.” She peeled off her jacket, tossed it on the window ledge. “I wasnt dealing with it, not by starting things up with Jordan again, or cutting them off. I just had it buried in a very shallow grave. We both did.”
“You needed time together first, to get to know each other again.”
“Youre right. Youre batting a thousand today.”
“Though Ive never understood exactly what that means, let me see if I can keep it up. You went to see Jordan, you talked some of this out, and you reached the understanding, at last, that youre in love with each other.”
“Sign her up. He loves me.” When Danas eyes filled, Malory whipped the kerchief off her head and rushed over to offer it. “Thanks. He said things to me he didnt say before. Couldnt say, or wouldnt. I dont guess it matters. He wasnt ready, and if Im going to be honest about it, we werent ready. I loved him, but that wasnt enough to let me see what he was going through, what he needed. What I needed, for that matter. It was blinding, so all I could see was „I want Jordan. Period. I never thought about what wed do together, or be together, what either of us needed to do separately to make it strong. It was all just right that minute.”
“You were young, and in love.” Malory took the kerchief back and dried her own eyes.
“Yeah, I was. I loved him with everything I had. But I have more now. And its so amazing, really, to be able to take one step back and look at the man he is, the man hes made of himself and realize hes more. To know it was worth the wait.”
“Dana.”
Her damp eyes went wide on Malorys face, then she blinked rapidly before turning to where Jordan stood in the doorway. “This is girl stuff here.”
“Dana.” He said her name again, then crossed to her. She saw the emotion swirling in his eyes, blazing in the blue before his arms banded around her. He hitched her up to her toes as his mouth swooped down to hers.
“Oh.” Undone, Malory buried her face in the kerchief.
“Okay, Id just like to say—”Zoe stormed halfway into the room before she skidded to a halt. Staring at the couple wrapped in each other, she pressed a hand to her heart. “Oh.” She reached back to dig the bandanna out of her pocket, but Brad stepped up beside her, pushed his into her hand.
“Thanks.” She sniffled into it. “But I did have my own.”
“Shut up,Zoe .”
Because the moment was too precious to spoil, she did.
Jordan eased back. “Theres something I have to do.”
Her eyebrow winged up, and her smile was quick and wicked. “Right here? In front of all our friends?”
“Cool,” was Brads response, which earned himZoes elbow in his belly.
“This isnt the time for gutter thoughts.”