Chapter 20 Impersonation
Weft, Havoc thought to his daughter. At the elevator.
Concurrence, she thought.
Weft and Ikon stepped onto the elevator, and it trundled slowly up toward the royal suites.
Havoc conjured himself into it as Weft conjured Ikon out. Havoc was now impersonating the robot. It was not hard to do, because Ikon had been crafted in Havoc's image and manner.
The elevator shuddered to a halt, and the two occupants got out. They entered Ennui's office.
Ennui looked up. "Weft, there is a message for you from the machines."
Weft evinced surprise, though Voila and Idyll had seen this coming. It was a significant nexus. "Question?"
"A tour of their worlds. Ikon will guide you."
"Me? Why not dad, or sis?"
Ennui played her part perfectly. "The machines do not confide their strategy to me. Evidently they believe you have the kind of influence they desire."
Havoc spoke, as Ikon. "I am not programmed for this."
"They sent an itinerary," Ennui said. "The wormholes are aligned for these worlds. There will surely be guides."
Havoc shrugged. "So I am merely Weft's traveling companion, of no other significance."
"Affirmation," Weft said, spanking his rear. "I will need a man to stave off the boredom."
"Are you ready?" Ennui inquired.
"Qualification: so long as the first stop's a vacation resort with a hot tub."
"It seems it is."
"And not in a moral village."
They all laughed at that. But Weft had an objection: "I'm not going anywhere without my ikon, and I don't mean the robot. And I don't want it carried by a machine in machine territory. They could take him over and have it just like that."
Havoc, as Ikon, looked pained, but was silent. It was her decision.
"Iolo ifrit?" Ennui asked.
Weft pondered briefly. "Okay."
Soon Iolo arrived, as the six legged dog. This little scene was necessary because the real Havoc could not carry anyone's ikon. The ifrit would carry them both.
Then Weft took Havoc's hand and Iolo's paw and conjured them all to the programmed destination.
Havoc, as Ikon, could not conjure himself.
It was indeed a resort. Not just the site, but seemingly the whole planet. They stood on a plaza on a high mountain overlooking a lovely forest and lake. The air was fresh and sweet, and the temperature was comfortable.
A robot garbed as an ancient Earth bellboy approached. "Welcome to Resort World," it said in somewhat halting speech. Either the sophisticated humanoid robots were rare, or this was meant to be obvious. "Do you wish a guide to our pleasures?"
Havoc exchanged a glance with Weft. Maybe that was best. "Affirmation."
"Humanoid or other?"
This thing will volunteer to be our guide, Weft thought. Nix on it.
"Alive," Havoc said. "Weft doesn't need any other machines in her way." As Ikon he was protecting his territory. The machines would understand that. "Then you will need a translation unit." The robot produced two small boxes hung on light chains.
They put on the boxes. It was a reasonable request.
The robot pressed a button. An ostrich-like bird approached. It squawked. "Yes?" the voice box hung around its long neck inquired.
"These are tourists from the human culture who wish a guide."
"Welcome," the bird said.
The robot turned to Weft. "Is this satisfactory?"
Because they think you're a robot, she thought. I'm the real live human they wish to impress. But I think the ostrich believes you to be alive; the machines are concealing your nature. Then, to the bird: "Affirmation. Who are you?"
The robot faded back, its job done. "I am a tourist from Culture Ostrich." The bird paused momentarily. "The translation will render it into the closest approximation to one of your more familiar creatures."
"It did," Havoc agreed. "I am Ikon, this is Weft, and this is Iolo, our pet ifrit."
"A non-sapient associate?" Ostrich asked.
"Affirmation," Weft said, stroking Iolo's back. "He has his talents, and serves to guard us from molestation. He is friendly as long as nothing threatens us."
Ostrich squatted with knees that bent backwards and focused on Iolo. He proffered a wing for the animal to sniff.
"A greeting, Iolo. Will you protect me too, while I show your associates around the planet?"
Nice touch, Havoc thought. Then, to Iolo: Accept the overture.
Iolo wagged his tail. "That means affirmation," Weft said.
Ostrich straightened up. "We have similar associates. They are not sapient, but are sentient, and we value them."
Weft patted Iolo on the head. "He says you're aware but not smart," she told him affectionately. "Accurately enough. Good thing you don't understand."
Iolo wagged his tail again, responding to her manner. If I did, I'd chomp your lovely ass, he thought. For of course the ifrit had full human intelligence. He was mainly Voila's friend, but got along well enough with her siblings.
"But if you're a tourist," Havoc asked Ostrich, "why are you serving this dull duty?"
"My tourist time expired, and I wished to stay longer. This is the mechanism. I may remain as long as I am useful, and actually I am a sociable creature, so it's no burden."
"Understanding," Havoc said.
"I am reasonably familiar with the features of this world, and the mechanisms of transport," Ostrich said. "I can reach a robot quickly if there is need."
As if the machines weren't constantly observing every aspect of what went on here. But of course the forms would be honored, summoning a robot for assistance as if that were necessary.
"Give us the standard tour," Weft said.
"I will. Do you wish to meet or avoid other tourists?"
This was interesting. "Meet," Havoc said.
"This way, then. We will join a tour group. We can separate from it at any time you wish."
The group was boarding a floater. It consisted of assorted alien creatures, some doglike, some catlike, some piglike, goatlike, bearlike, and some not quite parallel to anything Havoc was familiar with. All were standing on the floor with two or more legs, all were breathing air, and they were of approximately human size.
A doglike one gazed at Iolo, but Iolo shrank behind Weft as if nervous. "Sub-sapient," Weft said in explanation.
The doglike creature turned away, perhaps embarrassed.
"This world is dedicated to a particular type of living creature," Ostrich said. "Sapient bi-gendered warm-bodied land walkers breathing oxygenated gas in a certain gravity and temperature range, utilizing primarily visual and sonic perception and communication, reproducing via sexual congress. Other tourist worlds handle other types. Do you wish to converse with others?"
"Affirmation," Weft said rebelliously. She faced the group. "Greeting. I am Weft, a human being, in the company of a man I am interested in, and a pet animal. The machines invited me here as part of their effort to persuade me to grant them something they want. But I don't like or trust the machines. Why are the rest of you here?"
Havoc, as Ikon, winced openly, but did not speak. Of course the machines were picking up on everything that happened here. She was playing a dangerous game. But she knew she could get away with it, via the near future paths.
A goat bleated. "Bravo!" his translator said. "I agree precisely. But I want to survive, myself and my culture, and the machines have overwhelming force and lack conscience. So we must consider dealing, though it smells of spoiled silage."
"Agreement," a pig snorted. "We have rooted assiduously, but have been unable to find a weakness in the enemy. Faced with a choice between cooperation and obliteration, we must reluctantly consider the former, though it tastes of swine manure."