I looked at the clock. 11:02. “Yeah, I’m not surprised. She’s probably having ‘campaign drinks’ downtown.”
“So…yes?” he asked with raised eyebrows.
“Uh, I guess,” I said, sure about wanting him near, but unsure about what a yes actually meant. “You might want to park your Jeep around the corner, though, so Jane doesn’t immediately call in the cavalry.”
“Cool, because there’s something I want to show you,” he said with a wicked gleam in his eye that my virgin brain couldn’t interpret. Suddenly he was moving his whole body in my direction, and all the frozen blood in my body turned hot. Until I realized he was just leaning over to press the gate-opener button clipped to my sun visor. “I’ll meet you inside,” he said, his lips so close that his breath mingled with mine. “Let’s do this.”
CHAPTER 19
When I finally emerged from the shower, my skin burned bright red. I wiped some of the steam off the mirror and stared at my pitiful reflection, counting up the reasons why I resembled a Hot Tamales candy.
It could’ve been the scalding water I’d used to warm the icy marrow in my bones.
Or the vigorous scrubbing with my loofah to remove the evidence of ever having touched Father Michael.
Or the anger I felt toward Silver for turning me into something I hated.
Or the intermittent impure thoughts I had about Liam alone in my room.
I cracked the window to let the ocean breeze turn me back to a normal color before I got dressed and went out.
I opened the door to find only a bedside lamp was turned on. I’d forgotten for a second that I told Liam not to turn on any more lights in case my mom came home. This way she’d think I’d fallen asleep already.
As I let my eyes adjust to the low light, I discovered Liam totally relaxed (and fully clothed) on my bed. Disappointment (that he had no physical expectations) and relief (that he had no physical expectations) duked it out for control of my emotions. Then a third reaction won out—surprise—when I saw what he had in his hand. A photo. Of a man. With a well-groomed beard that could only be…
“Is that a picture of Silver?” I asked, racing to the bed to snatch it from Liam’s fingers. “How in the—”
“You’re not the only one with high SAT scores,” he said, pulling the picture out of my reach.
“Really? I thought you got on the honor roll by batting your girl lashes at teachers,” I teased back, grabbing the picture.
“Hey, I don’t have girl lashes!” He pretended to be offended. “And I’ll have you know, I study very hard to get my grades. Not all of us are naturally brilliant like you.”
“Whatever.” I smiled without looking back at him, staring at the photo.
It wasn’t great. In fact, it was terrible. But it was something. Silver looked just like Liam described. Handsome, in that “look at my sexily groomed beard” kind of way. Well built. Well dressed. No more than forty years old, if that. What would a guy like this want with me? He looked too normal. This had to be the man that I’d seen across the crowded cafeteria as I was about to faint, and through my blurred vision I made a facial hair miscalculation, projecting my fear of Martinez onto someone else.
“Seriously, how did you get this?” I asked, not taking my eyes off the picture.
“You know Mrs. Peabody in the front office?” he asked. I nodded. “This morning, when I was supposed to be in second period, I took her some donuts. When she went to the break room to get her coffee, I took a peek at the security footage. It’s all digital, so I typed in the date, zoomed in on the clearest image, and printed this sucker out. It was easy.”
I finally looked up at him. Genius. Why hadn’t I thought of that? And why did I keep underestimating, distrusting, and generally misjudging him? I could have reached over and kissed him in gratitude, but instead I said, “This is amazing. Thank you.”
Our eyes lingered on each other’s, until I had to look away, blushing. His neon sign was back on, and mine had blinking red lights. And in this situation the red lights didn’t mean STOP.
I wondered if he felt the same. If he could forget all the awfulness of the evening. After all, we didn’t need to go all the way. We could just—
“So now that we have proof of what he looks like, it should be enough for the police to ID him, right?”
OK. Not what I was expecting.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Isn’t this good news? This could help clear you. It shows that the guy is following you. He’s somewhere he’s not supposed to be.” He reached toward me, not to touch me or comfort me but to take back the picture. “If we show this to the police, they have that face-identification technology—”
“I told you, Liam,” I said, standing up. “I can’t go to the police with this. Not yet. Just having a picture of some dude doesn’t prove anything. How do we connect him to any of the abductions or killings? How do I prove he made me do anything?”
“Hang on,” he said. “Just a few minutes ago, you were ready to plant one on me for getting this picture.”
“I think it’s time for you to go.” I crossed my arms, ready to close the doors on the vault. I knew I was being ridiculous, but exhaustion, shame, and confusion were drowning me just like Father M—
“Look, I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to do. I promise.” He held up his hands and moved toward me slowly, like he knew what I was capable of. “I’m just trying to help you.”
I bit my lip, unsure of whether I should believe him. I couldn’t even trust myself. Just moments ago I was ready to kiss him, and now I could just as easily knee him in the jewels if he said the wrong thing.
I dropped my head and ran my fingers through my damp hair. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to feel anymore. I don’t know who to trust or where to turn. I should probably just run away to Mexico where no one can find me, and then I wouldn’t have to kill anymore or go to prison.”
“OK, let’s go,” he said, smiling and moving in closer again. “Let’s just get some sleep before we make a run for the border, all right? You’ve had a busy day.”
It was true. It had been one freakishly long day, and I didn’t want to spend any more energy or emotion recounting it. I was ready to collapse.
“Come and lie down.” He took me by the waist and guided me back to the bed. Part of me wanted to steel myself against his charm, but there was no denying the larger part of me wanted to give in to him. I wanted to believe him that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. He wouldn’t do anything stupid behind my back, like talk to the police. Whether I was willing to admit it or not, the vault had been unlocked. I’d let him in completely somewhere along the way.
I was falling—out of control, into bed, and for Liam Slater. Falling hard.
I slid under the covers and felt him slide in right behind me. Within moments I was drifting. Not just into sleep, but closer to another human being than I’d ever been before. He pulled me tight to his chest, and I melted into him. Every part of him entwined with every part of me, like I didn’t know where he started and I ended. My head rested on his arm, and our breathing slowed to match one another’s. I’d never experienced anything like it. His hot breath near my ear sent prickles up my neck.
I lay there, waiting to feel his lips against my skin, or his free hand on my thigh. I wanted it. But apparently not as much as my body and mind wanted sleep.
The last thing I remember was his arm reaching over me to turn the lamp off, and the feel of his body against mine. I didn’t even care if my mom came home to find him in my bed. What was she going to do? Kill me? She could get in line.