When the Special Agent assigned to my case came to see me, he curtly told me not to worry, assuring me that he’d personally see Martinez face justice. I might have been able to overlook his 1960s-style slicked-back hair, outdated male condescension, and habitual use of the term sweetie—but only if in the very same breath he hadn’t used a line right out of my mom’s old playbook: “Sometimes you have to let a smaller fish go in order to catch the bigger fish.” I wanted to tell him exactly where to go with his fish analogies.
As long as we cooperated and kept our guppy mouths shut, we could earn our immunity. Which sealed the deal for me. That’s when I learned the real truth about Damon Silver. Special Agent Fishy opened up about Commander Silver—Medal of Honor recipient in the United States Army, Green Beret Special Forces Commander, and inactive operative in an elite Special Operations Group of the CIA. A real hero. “One of our bravest.”
Who still hadn’t come to talk to me, even though he’d been released almost immediately after his arrest.
Whatever. It was complicated—I got that. And somehow I knew I’d see Silver again.
As for Jane, after she was discharged from the hospital, her points in the polls skyrocketed. Her campaign managers knew exactly how to swing it—“Jane Rose the Survivor.” But the media turned on her when their questions continued to go unanswered. Bill Brandon took advantage of her weakened position and began accusing her of scandal and cover-ups.
There were still several months until Election Day, but Brandon was quickly becoming the favorite. And I was glad. Not just because he’d be tough on violent offenders and make his slain daughter proud, but because I still held on to a shred of hope that maybe I’d get my mom back. That maybe if the fight for her campaign and career were over, she’d start fighting for me.
“Ruby, I need to apologize to you.” Dr. T’s voice pulled me back to the present. Her arm still held me close to her side, her eyes still centered on the bright horizon before us. She swallowed hard. “I needed some space after the fire. I had nothing to give, and I was scared that if I didn’t distance myself from you, I’d be in more danger. I knew Martinez was trouble from the first moment you brought him up in our post-LeMarq sessions. I just didn’t know it was leading to this—”
“What? You knew about Martinez?” I asked, pulling away.
“Ruby, let me finish. I’m sorry for keeping the truth from you all these years.”
“What truth have you hidden?” I flinched at the pain in my side. It felt like one sentence had just reopened the wound.
“Ruby, please, give me a chance to explain—”
“So that’s why he wrote the word ‘SECRETS’ over your mouth? Because you were in on it all along?” I backed away from her.
“Don’t do that,” she cautioned, using The Tone. “Don’t spin away. Ruby, I was only trying to protect you.”
I rubbed my forehead. “Why does everyone keep using that excuse? They didn’t tell me squat because they were only trying to protect me. Does this gash in my side look like I’ve been protected?”
She closed the gap between us. “I always felt it wasn’t my place to tell you the truth, or at least what little truth I knew. Your parents—Jack and Jane that is—were my clients before you came into their lives. I was their marital counselor. Your mother had been trying for years to get pregnant, and it was causing problems in the marriage. I knew about the affair. Your dad was hurt, but patient. He coped with alcohol. She coped by throwing herself into her work in the Family Court.”
She stopped to gauge my distress barometer, like she knew I needed to take a breath before hearing more.
“She talked about you a lot in our sessions. She told me how neglected you were by your real mother. Unchanged diapers, left in your crib for hours. But most of all, how special you were despite it all. How you reached out to her. How you hugged her tight and wouldn’t let go.”
I’d never stopped reaching out to her. I still didn’t want to let go.
“You had her heart, Ruby. Whatever she did to get you, I have no idea. I knew it was suspicious. I knew it was questionable. But I never doubted the way she felt about you. She may not have shown it well with her career taking up so much of her time, but I know she loves you.”
I wanted to believe her. The memories of that special bond Jane and I used to share still lingered. The way she held me, the way she sang to me, the way we used to be a family. But after all she had done, part of me just wanted to hate her.
“I don’t want to talk about her anymore.” I shook my head and wiped my eyes. I couldn’t hear any more of this. Maybe one day I’d forgive her, but not today. “I need some rest. No more truth for now.”
“Ah, so you remember what I told you? God offers to every soul the choice between truth and repose. I tried to warn you.”
It was true. She had tried to warn me. I hugged her, and she tightened in surprise, but I didn’t let go. I wasn’t sure words could convey my gratitude for what she’d gone through for me. But as she softened and squeezed me back, it seemed like she felt it.
“Well, I have just one more bit of truth to tell you before we rest,” she said, pulling away with a mischievous smile.
“I don’t know if I can handle one more bit, Dr. T.” I slumped into a love seat and clenched my teeth at the pain in my side. “I’m exhausted. Can’t you just bring whatever it is to me?” I made those wide kitty-cat eyes.
“Nope.” She gently raised me by my elbow. “Just trust me.”
“Fine, but this had better be good,” I said, following her outside to the deck stairs leading to the roof. “And there’d better not be any dead bodies.”
Looking sad, she shook her head at me.
The salty sea air replaced the tinge of black oil from Grissom Island lingering inside me. The crashing waves drowned out the residue of noise in my mind. It was like Dr. T was using her voodoo powers to heal me.
I reached the top, and she finally let go. Behind the licking flames of the rooftop fire pit, two familiar faces lit up, and my heart skipped a beat.
The boppy curls of my best friend, Alana, and the shaggy locks of the only guy who’d ever broken into my heart, Liam. My eyes fluttered between the two. I couldn’t decide who I wanted to run to first—if I could run without my side tearing open.
“It’s cool,” Liam said, sliding his hand behind Alana’s back. As though chivalry wasn’t dead, he nudged her forward. “I can wait.”
Alana came toward me with her arms outstretched. But now that I was looking, she had a small box in her hands—chocolate.
“Thought you might need some of this,” she said grinning. “It’s not your fancy European stuff, just some of my mom’s chocolate-covered macadamias from her stash.”
“It’s perfect,” I said. And it was.
Both of us took a deep breath, bracing ourselves for the lame girlie cry about being happy it was over. Instead, our eyes seemed to have a whole conversation on their own. She said she was proud of me. I said I couldn’t have done it without her. She said she missed me. I said I missed her more.
“Thanks for coming—you have no idea how much this means to me.” I squeezed her. “You guys are all I’ve got now.” I didn’t even know if I’d ever see Big Black or Gladys and the Pips again. Which I told myself was OK since I had the three of them. People not things. Dr. T would be so proud.