Kim

festival one must e'en look out of the window, and grandmothering takes

all a woman's time. Thy master gives me all the charms I now desire

for my daughter's eldest, by reason--is it?--that he is wholly free

from sin. The hakim is brought very low these days. He goes about

poisoning my servants for lack of their betters.'

'What hakim, mother?'

'That very Dacca man who gave me the pill which rent me in three

pieces. He cast up like a strayed camel a week ago, vowing that he and

thou had been blood-brothers together up Kulu-way, and feigning great

anxiety for thy health. He was very thin and hungry, so I gave orders

to have him stuffed too--him and his anxiety!'

'I would see him if he is here.'

'He eats five times a day, and lances boils for my hinds to save

himself from an apoplexy. He is so full of anxiety for thy health that

he sticks to the cook-house door and stays himself with scraps. He will

keep. We shall never get rid of him.'

'Send him here, mother'--the twinkle returned to Kim's eye for a

flash--'and I will try.'

'I'll send him, but to chase him off is an ill turn. At least he had

the sense to fish the Holy One out of the brook; thus, as the Holy One

did not say, acquiring merit.'

'He is a very wise hakim. Send him, mother.'

'Priest praising priest? A miracle! If he is any friend of thine (ye

squabbled at your last meeting) I'll hale him here with horse-ropes

and--and give him a caste-dinner afterwards, my son ... Get up and see

the world! This lying abed is the mother of seventy devils ... my son!

my son!'

She trotted forth to raise a typhoon off the cook-house, and almost on

her shadow rolled in the Babu, robed as to the shoulders like a Roman

emperor, jowled like Titus, bare-headed, with new patent-leather shoes,

in highest condition of fat, exuding joy and salutations.

'By Jove, Mister O'Hara, but I are jolly-glad to see you. I will

kindly shut the door. It is a pity you are sick. Are you very sick?'

'The papers--the papers from the kilta. The maps and the murasla!' He

held out the key impatiently; for the present need on his soul was to

get rid of the loot.

'You are quite right. That is correct Departmental view to take. You

have got everything?'

'All that was handwritten in the kilta I took. The rest I threw down

the hill.' He could hear the key's grate in the lock, the sticky pull

of the slow-rending oilskin, and a quick shuffling of papers. He had

been annoyed out of all reason by the knowledge that they lay below him

through the sick idle days--a burden incommunicable. For that reason

the blood tingled through his body, when Hurree, skipping

elephantinely, shook hands again.

'This is fine! This is finest! Mister O'Hara! you have--ha! ha!

swiped the whole bag of tricks--locks, stocks, and barrels. They told

me it was eight months' work gone up the spouts! By Jove, how they

beat me! ... Look, here is the letter from Hilas!' He intoned a line

or two of Court Persian, which is the language of authorized and

unauthorized diplomacy. 'Mister Rajah Sahib has just about put his

foot in the holes. He will have to explain offeecially how the

deuce-an'-all he is writing love-letters to the Czar. And they are

very clever maps ... and there is three or four Prime Ministers of

these parts implicated by the correspondence. By Gad, sar! The

British Government will change the succession in Hilas and Bunar, and

nominate new heirs to the throne. "Trea-son most base" ... but you do

not understand? Eh?'

'Are they in thy hands?' said Kim. It was all he cared for.

'Just you jolly-well bet yourself they are.' He stowed the entire

trove about his body, as only Orientals can. 'They are going up to the

office, too. The old lady thinks I am permanent fixture here, but I

shall go away with these straight off--immediately. Mr Lurgan will be

proud man. You are offeecially subordinate to me, but I shall embody

your name in my verbal report. It is a pity we are not allowed written

reports. We Bengalis excel in thee exact science.' He tossed back the

key and showed the box empty.

'Good. That is good. I was very tired. My Holy One was sick, too.

And did he fall into--'

'Oah yess. I am his good friend, I tell you. He was behaving very

strange when I came down after you, and I thought perhaps he might have

the papers. I followed him on his meditations, and to discuss

ethnological points also. You see, I am verree small person here

nowadays, in comparison with all his charms. By Jove, O'Hara, do you

know, he is afflicted with infirmity of fits. Yess, I tell you.

Cataleptic, too, if not also epileptic. I found him in such a state

under a tree in articulo mortem, and he jumped up and walked into a

brook and he was nearly drowned but for me. I pulled him out.'

'Because I was not there!' said Kim. 'He might have died.'

'Yes, he might have died, but he is dry now, and asserts he has

undergone transfiguration.' The Babu tapped his forehead knowingly. 'I

took notes of his statements for Royal Society--in posse. You must

make haste and be quite well and come back to Simla, and I will tell

you all my tale at Lurgan's. It was splendid. The bottoms of their

trousers were quite torn, and old Nahan Rajah, he thought they were

European soldiers deserting.'

'Oh, the Russians? How long were they with thee?'

'One was a Frenchman. Oh, days and days and days! Now all the

hill-people believe all Russians are all beggars. By Jove! they had

not one dam'-thing that I did not get them. And I told the common

people--oah, such tales and anecdotes!--I will tell you at old Lurgan's

when you come up. We will have--ah--a night out! It is feather in

both our caps! Yess, and they gave me a certificate. That is creaming

joke. You should have seen them at the Alliance Bank identifying

themselves! And thank Almighty God you got their papers so well! You

do not laugh verree much, but you shall laugh when you are well. Now I

will go straight to the railway and get out. You shall have all sorts

of credits for your game. When do you come along? We are very proud

of you though you gave us great frights. And especially Mahbub.'

'Ay, Mahbub. And where is he?'

'Selling horses in this vi-cinity, of course.'

'Here! Why? Speak slowly. There is a thickness in my head still.'

The Babu looked shyly down his nose. 'Well, you see, I am fearful man,

and I do not like responsibility. You were sick, you see, and I did

not know where deuce-an'-all the papers were, and if so, how many. So

when I had come down here I slipped in private wire to Mahbub--he was

at Meerut for races--and I tell him how case stands. He comes up with

his men and he consorts with the lama, and then he calls me a fool, and

is very rude--'

'But wherefore--wherefore?'

'That is what I ask. I only suggest that if anyone steals the papers I

should like some good strong, brave men to rob them back again. You

see, they are vitally important, and Mahbub Ali he did not know where

you were.'

'Mahbub Ali to rob the Sahiba's house? Thou art mad, Babu,' said Kim

with indignation.

'I wanted the papers. Suppose she had stole them? It was only

practical suggestion, I think. You are not pleased, eh?'

A native proverb--unquotable--showed the blackness of Kim's disapproval.

'Well,'--Hurree shrugged his shoulders--'there is no accounting for

thee taste. Mahbub was angry too. He has sold horses all about here,