“You might have time to build a good military force,” Nathan said. “Good enough to hold the maris. But what about the politics? Sergeant—”
“Colonel, don’t order me to come with you.”
I don’t think he ever interrupted me before, MacKinnie thought.
“I’ll take care of these new Wolves for you,” Stark said. “Just until you come back for us. Let’s leave it like that.”
Except we both know I’ll never get back, MacKinnie thought.
He looked at Stark, then looked away. There had always been the possibility that Stark would be killed in a battle that MacKinnie survived, but after Lechfeld it hadn’t seemed likely. After Lechfeld, Stark was all that was left of his former life. He had never considered what it would be like to be alone.
I guess now I find out, he thought.
Mary came in with two yellow-robed priests. They looked at Hal’s shoulder and exchanged glances, then bent to feel it gingerly. “I do not think it broken,” one said. “It will heal. But it may be dislocated. We will have to wrench it into place, then bind it up. That will be painful. If you will come with us-”
“I’ll go, too,” Brett said. “Just to be certain.”
MacKinnie got up as well.
Stark shook his head. “No need for you to come, Colonel. I’ll see you in the morning.”
And you’d rather I didn’t watch, MacKinnie thought. I’ve seen the Temple medical people work, they’re good at their job — and Hal won’t want me around when they start yanking at that shoulder. It’s easier to yell bloody murderif your friends aren’t around. “Right.” He watched as the priests led Hal and Brett away.
Nathan went to the door and closed it. When he turned back he saw Mary was still there, still lovely, making no move to go—
“Freelady, you shouldn’t be—”
“Don’t be silly,” she said. “You’re shaking—”
“Yes, damn it. I—”
“So am I.” She held up her hands.
MacKinnie laughed wryly. “You’re not in my line of work. It’s always been like this, after the action is over—”
“And you wonder if I think less of you?” she asked. “Because your hands tremble?” She shuddered.
Why is she here? MacKinnie wondered. Right here, two steps away, all I have to do is—
She’s your ward and you’re fifty and she’s half your age. And damned beautiful. And what do I do now? “Do you want a drink?”
“If you’re having one—”
He poured two goblets of wine.
There was a long silence while they drank. Then Mary laughed.
“What?” Nathan asked.
“Us. You were almost killed tonight. You could be killed tomorrow. Or we both could be. And we’re standing here in the middle of this room, when — Nathan, this is foolish!”
“But-”
“But nothing! Guardians. Never be alone with a man. Nathan, that’s another world. A world so far away I can’t even imagine it — and you stopped looking at me like a daughter a long time ago …” She moved closer to him and put her hand on his arm. “We’re here, Nathan. We’re here and tonight we’re alive. Tomorrow we might not be.”
Gray dawn gave just enough light to see when
MacKinnie woke. He lay still for a moment, half remembering a dream. Then he sat upright. He was alone in the bed—
But not in the room. Mary sat in a big chair, her knees drawn up to her chin. She had covered herself with a large fur robe.
“You’re awake,” she said.
“So are you — why are you sitting there?”
“I couldn’t sleep, and I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Are you — are you all right?” he asked.
She laughed, a soft tinkle in the gray light. “You silly goose, of course I’m all right.” She laughed again. “Why, did you think I was brooding over lost innocence? If you must know, I was thinking of how much time we wasted before tonight.”
“So was I.”
She smiled and stood. She was naked except for the fur robe, and she threw that aside. “Then let’s don’t waste any more. There won’t be a lot of privacy on Subao.”
It was fully light outside when he woke again. MacKinnie moved carefully and gently kissed her. She smiled and opened her eyes lazily.
“Good morning,” Nathan said.
“Yes. It is a good morning.” She stretched lazily. “It would be a better one for some coffee. Or chickeest. Or even that horrible tea they have here.”
“I’ll just send for some, shall I?”
She drew away in mock horror. “And scandalize your guards?”
“They would be. Or would pretend to be,” Nathan said.
“Don’t be so serious.”
“Someone has to be.”
“I suppose. And we’ve both work to do. We’d better get up.”
“To hell with the work—”
“You don’t mean that,” she said.
“Maybe I do. The harder I work, the quicker we go back. Assuming Kleinst can do anything useful to begin with, and I’m not at all sure he can. Mary — we really could stay here.”
“You’re not going to start that again, are you? Nathan, I don’t really know why we’re here. It has something to do with the library, I can guess that. And Lord Dougal said this was the most important mission in the history of Haven, important to the whole planet.”
“It is,” Nathan said. “And it’s time I told you what we’re doing here. All of you should know, so you won’t let something slip to the Imperial Navy people.” He explained the mission to her. “But I’ve come to think it’s senseless,” he finished.
“Why?”
“Why? You’ve seen their ships. How can we build anything like that?”
“What does Kleinst say, now that he’s seen the library?”
“Humph. He’s so enraptured by all the new scientific laws that he isn’t even thinking about building ships. And he doesn’t know if we can read copies of the records on Samual, even if we can take copies back. He could learn, he says. But in how many years? I think we’ve been chasing a dream, Mary. A noble dream, but nothing more than that.”
She stared at patterns of sunlight on the wall. When she spoke she was very serious. “Dream or not, we have to try,” she said. “Not just for us. For everyone. The Empire is wrong, Nathan. Their policies. Look at what they’re doing to this world. With what little we know we could save them from so much misery.”
“Or destroy them,” MacKinnie said.
“That’s strange, coming from you.”
“Oh, I’ve no love for the Imperials. I just don’t know how to do their job.”
“You don’t have to. All you have to do is your own.”
“But-”
“There really is something wrong, isn’t there?”
He nodded. “Hal won’t be coming back with us.”
“Are you certain?”
“Yes. He’s going to stay with Brett. He thinks he has an obligation to these peasant lads he trained. So do I.”
“He’s been with you a long time, hasn’t he?”
“Since I was a junior lieutenant,” Nathan said. “Mary, how can I leave him here? And for what? It’s not my job any longer. It’s all up to Kleinst, and he doesn’t know how to build a spaceship either.”
“Iron MacKinnie gives up,” she said. “The terrible warrior — no, I won’t mock you. I don’t suppose I’ll ever know the kind of friendship you and Hal have. But the mission isn’t finished until we get home, and Nathan, be honest, what are our chances without you?”
“Not as good as if I come.” It was as if the words were wrenched from him, as if they said themselves without his willing it. “But what good are we doing?”
“Nathan, we’ve got the library. When we started even that didn’t look possible. Now we just keep doing what we can.”