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It was rough. I get it. I really get it. Up with Holden. I’d have probably been the same way.

In the end, though, the attempt to save the world by forcing people to read The Catcher in the Rye and dressing casually and supporting public television and putting bumper stickers on Volvos and eating only weird expensive food and separat-ing your cans and bottles and doing tai chi and going to the farmer’s market and pronouncing Spanish words with a cartoon-character accent and calling actresses actors and making up your own religion and so forth—well, the world refused to be saved that way. Big surprise. On the other hand, no one could ever mistake Hillmont High School for a prep school, so at least you accomplished that. I mean, calling it a school involves the kind of generosity of spirit that in other circumstances might get you the Nobel Peace Prize nomina-tion or something. You stuck it to the old man, killed half of your brain cells, and dumbed down the educational system: you are the greatest generation.

Before all that character arc stuff happened, I might have been able to sing “all we are saying is make high school a little less sadistic” with a little more enthusiasm. Compared to Hillmont High School, Holden Caulfield’s prep school troubles seem like a sort of heaven on earth. But honestly, I’ve got my mind on other things. Girls and rock and roll, I mean.

Everything else is trivia.

323

OUTRO

How we live now:

Christmas break. Band practice. We Have Eaten All the Cake, me on guitar/vox, Spam L. Ermine on bass and domestic hygiene, Shinefield on drums, first album Slut Heaven.

Working on: “You Look Good on Drugs.”

Little Big Tom enters, tilts his head to one side, raises one eyebrow, does a quick, shallow knee bend, tilts his head to the other side, raises the phone he is carrying above his head, and brings it down, straightening his arm in one fluid motion, as though it’s a remote and he’s changing the channel. Or a phaser on stun.

“There a rock star in the house?”

I take the phone. “Oh, thank God,” I say, when I realize it is Celeste “Fiona” Fletcher. Because we’ve started saying that whenever we call each other.

Fake Fiona: “Trombone!”

Amanda: “Get off the phone. Get off the phone. Get off the phone.”

Mom: just about halfway visible from a certain angle, seated at the dining room table at the end of the hall in a cloud of cigarette smoke, staring into her drink. Looking sad and beautiful.

Little Big Tom, sighing: “Rock and roll . . .”

Sam Hellerman: staring ahead inscrutably, fingering bass strings. Saying nothing.

325

bandography

( A U G U S T – D E C E M B E R )

1. Easter Monday

2. Baby Batter

guitar: Guitar Guy

base and scientology: Sam Hellerman

third album: Odd and Even Number

3. The Plasma Nukes

guitar: Lithium Dan

bass and calligraphy: Little Pink Sambo

vox: The Worm

machine-gun drums: TBA

first album: Feelin’ Free with the Plasma Nukes 4. Tennis with Guitars

lead axe: Love Love

bass and rat-catching: The Prophet Samuel vocals, keys, bumping, grinding: Li’l Miss Debbie drummer: Beat-Beat

first album: Amphetamine Low

cover: white with the album title in tiny black type on the back. The band name does not appear anywhere on the outside packaging.

second album: Phantasmagoria, Gloria photo: a police dog licks a broken doll’s face.

327

5. Helmet Boy

guitar: Moe

bass and procrastination: Sambiguity

first album: Helmet Boy II

6. Liquid Malice

7. The Underpants Machine

guitar: Super-Moe

bass and bottle rockets: Sam Sam the Piper’s Son first album: We Will Bury You

8. The Stoned Marmadukes

guitar: Moe “Fingers” Henderson

bass and paleontology: Mr. Sam Hellerman first album: Right Lane Must Exit

9. Ray Bradbury’s Love-Camel

guitar: Moe-Moe

bass and calisthenics: Scammy Sammy

first album: Prepare to Die

10. Silent Nightmare

guitar: The Lord of Electricity

bass and gynecology: Samson

first album: Feel Me Fall

11. The Medieval Ages

guitar: St. Moe

bass and bodywork: Samber Waves of Grain first album: That Stupid Pope

328

12. The Sadly Mistaken

guitar: Moe Vittles

bass and landscaping: Sam “Noxious” Fumes first album: Kill the Boy Wonder

13. Oxford English

guitar: Moe Bilalabama

bass and lollygagging: Sam “the Cat” Hellerman first album: What Part of Suck Don’t You Understand?

14. Some Delicious Sky, aka SDS

treble and vocals: Squealie

thick bottom and industrial arts:

Sambidextrous

first album: Taste My Juice

15. Arab Charger

guitar: me

bass and preventive dentistry: The Fiend in Human Shape

first album: Blank Me

16. Occult Blood

guitar and vox: Mopey Mo

bass and teleology: Hell-man

percussion instruments: Todd Panchowski

first album: Pentagrampa

17. The Mordor Apes

guitar: Mithril-hound

bass and necrology: Li’l Sauron

percussion and stupefaction: Dim Todd

first album: Elven Tail

329

18. The Nancy Wheelers

guitar: Pseudo-Moe

bass and ouija board: Sam Hellerman

first album: Margaret? It’s God. Please Shut Up.

19. Green Sabbath

guitar: Monsignor Eco-druid

bass and industrial sabotage: The Grim

Recycler

drums, percussion, acoustic and semi-

acoustic drums, cymbals, tambourines,

cowbells, chimes, gongs, toms, shaker

eggs, bongos, stick clicks, wood blocks, percussion, percussion and more

percussion: Todd “Percussion” Panchowski first album: Our Drummer Is Kind of Full of Himself 20. Balls Deep

guitar: Comrade Gal-hammer

bass and embroidery: Our Dear Leader

real fancy and important percussion: the Lonely Dissident

first album: We Control the Horizontal 21. Super Mega Plus

guitar/vox: Moelle

bass, prevarication, and procuring young girls under false pretenses: Sam Hell

irregular timekeeping: Brain-dead Panchowski first album: A Woman Knows

330

22. The Chi-Mos!

guitar: the Reverend Chi-Mo

bass and being aware of his own mortality: Assistant Principal Chi-Mo

percussion and counting to four:

Chi-Mo Panchowski

first album: Balls Deep

23. The Elephants of Style

guitar: Mot Juste

bass and animal husbandry: Sam Enchanted Evening

first album: Devil Warship

24. Sentient Beard

guitar/vox: Mot Nosredneh

bass and upholstery: Samerica the Beautiful first album: Off the Charts—Way Off

25. We Have Eaten All the Cake

guitar/vox: Tomcat

bass and domestic hygiene Spam L. Ermine

:

drums: Shinefield

first album Slut Heaven