“Does she have reason to? Or just vague suspicions?”
“No, she has reason. He’s been acting weird and won’t tell her where he’s been sometimes. Last week she found an earring in his bedroom. Today, a pair of panties.”
“And they weren’t hers.”
“No.”
“She going to break up with him?”
Christy shrugged. “She wants to work it out. She says she loves him. And I didn’t know what to tell her. I mean, you and I have such a weird relationship. I didn’t feel like I could give her advice.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know if I can explain it.” She thought for a moment. “Before I met you, I’d’ve said break up with him. But now… I was thinking about how I’d feel if you had sex with someone else. Without telling me, I mean.”
My eyebrows shot up.
“Exactly,” she said when she felt my surprise. “I know you’re going to do it with Wren, but that doesn’t really bother me. Not anymore. I know it’s just sex with her.” She laughed, in surprise as much as a release of tension. “It feels weird to say it like that, but that’s how I feel.” She swatted my chest, light and playful, which was at odds with her mood otherwise. “You’re a bad influence.”
“Or a good one.”
“Very good,” she agreed. “But yeah… I know you’re going to have sex with other women, especially if I work up the nerve to become a swinger.”
“Probably, yeah.”
“But what if you do it without telling me? I mean, I did the same thing with Wren, although that was different.”
“Right.”
“I think I’d be upset, but I’m not sure. Is that my autopilot or for real? I don’t know anymore. So that’s why I didn’t know what to tell Brooke. She’s a lot like me, but she doesn’t have someone like you to explain it.”
“Her boyfriend probably isn’t like me either. I know the difference between love and sex.”
“Exactly. You love me, but it’s just sex with the others. Except for Leah.
But I think I understand the difference between her and me.”
“I’m committed to you.”
“You always know how to say what I’m thinking,” she said with a smile.
“Anyway, I didn’t know what to tell Brooke. Still don’t. I feel bad for her, but worse that I can’t help.”
She fell silent, so I simply held her. Then we heard the front door open.
Trip and Wren came in together and immediately headed upstairs. He and I hadn’t been to the gym together all week. He had a study group for his accounting final, and I used the extra time to get ahead on Joska’s project.
Wren was working on her honors thesis (for real), so she and Christy hadn’t spent as much time together either.
“Do you know if they’re going out tonight?” I asked her.
“Yeah. Date night. Wren was talking about it this morning at the pool.
They’re going to that steak restaurant he likes.” She shivered in revulsion.
“And then he wants to see a band for his dad. He’s getting pretty good at picking them. Wren said the record label signed two of them. Trip gets paid for those. It’s pretty good money. He’s gonna need it if he wants to keep her happy.”
“You aren’t so cheap yourself,” I teased.
“Ugh. Don’t remind me. My dad keeps lecturing me.”
“Maybe you should listen?”
“Please don’t start,” she said. “I’m feeling bad enough as it is.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
We listened to muted thumps from the ceiling in the living room. Then the water hammer rattled when one of them started the shower.
“I wish the timing didn’t stink for this weekend,” Christy said. “I looked at my calendar again and called Marianne and everything. But she said absolutely not. Too bad. I could use a good distraction.”
“So,” I ventured, “she knows about…?”
“Us? Going all the way? Of course. I had to ask her for help with birth control—”
I compressed my lips so hard that it hurt, but Christy didn’t notice.
“—but she’s your biggest fan these days. Bigger than Wren, even. She thinks you’ll start looking elsewhere if we don’t.” Christy laughed softly, but with irony rather than amusement. “She doesn’t know. About you being a swinger, I mean, or that I’m thinking about it. She thinks I need to sleep with you before you ‘get away.’ That’s what she did with Harry,” she added. “I know she loves him, but sometimes she talks like she had to trap him.”
“That’s one of the major problems I had with religious girls,” I said.
“Back before you and I started dating.”
“I know. That’s how most of us were brought up, though. Sex is something you only do because you have to, with your husband. It’s dirty otherwise.”
“But you know different now?”
“You know I do. You can feel it. And that’s why I wish we could do it this weekend. You know I want to make love to you. Have sex and fuck too.”
She looked up at me and ventured a smile. “All of it, everything.”
“We can use condoms,” I said, but she immediately shook her head.
“I want to feel you. The real you. Inside me. And I don’t want you to have to pull out when you come. Not the first time. Not ever, really, but Marianne said that’s one of the things we need to do sometimes.”
“Then how about next week?”
“We’re too busy. I told you.”
“Okay, next—?”
“We already talked about this.”
“We did, but—” I growled in frustration. “I’m ready now.”
“I know. And I’m really sorry. I know you think West Virginia would be perfect, but I don’t. Besides, I want to do other things there. Things we can’t do here.”
“We can do anything we want here!”
“No. I want to go out in public. And I want you to tie me up. Maybe blindfold me too. We can’t do any of that here.”
“Why not? Hold on. Never mind. What’s to stop me from just tying you up and fucking you next weekend? I know you want it. Besides—”
“Please don’t,” she said immediately. “What’s that dumb word? Bacon!
Right, bacon. Please promise me you won’t do anything next weekend. I’m serious, Paul. Bacon serious.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I was still frustrated and not likely to get what I wanted any time soon, but the absurdity of “bacon serious” was just too much.
Christy grinned too, which was exactly what we both needed.
“Okay,” I said at last, “I promise. I won’t do anything.”
“Thank you.” She smoothed my shirt against my chest. “I know you’re upset, but… I’ve thought about this a lot. I want our first time to be perfect.”
“You know it won’t be. Life isn’t like that. It’s always sexier in your head.”
“I know, but I really want to try for this. I already talked to Wren and told her we’ll be staying here a few days and will join them in Florida later.”
“How’d she take it?”
“She was annoyed. They’ll have to drive down instead. Or pay for plane tickets.”
“Did you tell her why?”
“No! It’s none of her business. But… I think she figured it out.”
“She isn’t stupid.”
“No. Unfortunately. So she knows, but we’re pretending she doesn’t.”
I laughed at the things we were all willing to believe when it suited us.
“I know, right?” Christy said as she read my mind. “It’s silly, but…” She shrugged.
Rattling pipes reminded us that we still had company upstairs.
“I still feel kinda bad about Brooke,” Christy said. “Do you mind if we have a quiet night tonight?”
“Not at all. Life’s full of ups and downs.”
“Well, I really wish the ups and downs could be on your cock, but— Oh, please! Don’t look so surprised. I have naughty thoughts too.”
“Yeah, but it’s still a shock to hear you say them aloud. And so explicitly.”