“When you say ‘all the way’…?”
“Yeah. I had sex with my mom. She stopped it before we went too far, but… my dick was inside her.”
“Okay,” Christy said shakily. “That… wasn’t what I expected.”
“There’s more.”
She swallowed hard but didn’t look away.
“A few days ago, at home… we… um… kind of… picked up… where we left off.” I bit the bullet and said in a rush, “We had sex. For real. All the way.”
The words hung in the air for an eternity. Part of me wanted to make excuses, but I knew how they’d sound. Instead, I kept my mouth shut and mustered as much dignity as I could.
“What—?” Christy cleared her throat and tried again. “What happened?”
“D’you want details?”
“I… I think so.”
My skin prickled as even more adrenaline flooded my system. It struggled against the alcohol already there, and I felt a wave of vertigo as the
two fought it out. I waited for things to settle before I continued.
“My mom and I have always had this… thing,” I said at last. “I can’t really explain it. Not in a single word, at least. But she’s basically the first woman I ever noticed, sexually. Even before Susan. Besides, you know what she’s like. She’s…”
“Very pretty,” Christy agreed. “But she’s your mother.”
“And Erin’s my sister. You think that’s hot. How’s this any different?”
“I don’t know!” she snapped. “It just is.”
“Not really. They’re both taboo.”
“But… she’s your mother. She’s supposed to protect you, not—!” She gestured vaguely.
“She did, back when we first fooled around. She stopped things. She knew I wasn’t old enough to deal with it, with the consequences.”
She scoffed. “So she waited a few years until you were?”
“Yes. I’m old enough now to know the difference between love and sex, between something serious and… ‘an itch’ I need to scratch.”
“Oh? And what happens the next time you need to ‘scratch an itch’?”
“Well, you and I should talk about it.” I paused and felt a leaden weight on my chest. “That is, if we’re still together.”
She looked annoyed but then visibly tried to calm down. “What? Now?
Of course we are. I worked too hard to get what I want to give it up.” She cast about for something appropriate to say and settled on, “Dammit!” She glared at me defiantly, as if daring me to laugh. “Dammit, dammit, dammit!
Why’d you have to tell me now, of all times, when we’re about to go all the way!”
“Hey,” I snapped, “you’re the one who wanted to wait!”
She glared.
I glared back.
She slowly backed down.
I did too. “Sorry, I guess I’m feeling guilty—”
“You should.”
“—and defensive.” I scowled as her words registered. “Don’t do that.”
“What?”
“Pile on with the guilt. I don’t do it to you, and I’d appreciate the same courtesy.”
She bit back a heated reply and then thought about it. Liquid courage only went so far, and she eventually said, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Me too. And I wish we’d talked about this beforehand, but we didn’t.
Besides, I had no idea it was gonna happen. The whole thing was a setup.
Spring break, I mean, with my mother.” I paused to get my thoughts in order.
Christy waited for a moment and then pointed at my half-full glass of whiskey on the floor. “D’you mind?” She didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, she picked it up, drained it, and closed her eyes as the alcohol went down.
“Better?”
“Yes. But keep going.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded.
“Okay. So, I’ve always had fantasies about my mom. And she’s had them about me. We didn’t go all the way that first time, but neither of us really stopped thinking about it.”
“But… she should know better. She’s your mother.”
“She’s still a person,” I said calmly. “With all the same desires and fantasies. And weaknesses.”
Christy sighed and stared at her lap. She unconsciously raised one hand to her mouth and sucked the tip of her thumb. I couldn’t help but smile, although I managed to hide it before she caught me. She realized what she was doing and said, “I suppose you think that’s funny.”
“No. But it’s something I want in my life. Not the oral part,” I added hastily, “but the thoughtful part. You’re really trying to understand, and I get it. This isn’t easy for you.”
She shook her head.
“I grew up in a family that was much more open about sex. In this case, it means sex with each other. Not on a regular basis, but still…”
She gazed at me steadily and then nodded.
“Do you still want to hear what happened?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. She’d been thinking about it for a while. But our family has—
had rules about kids and parents. No touching, more or less. Not sexually.
But she and Erin had a big talk over New Year’s, and Erin convinced her that the rules didn’t really make sense anymore, especially now that we’re all adults.”
“And lemme guess,” Christy said with a touch of sarcasm, “Erin has fantasies about your dad.”
“Yes.”
“I should’ve known.”
“You wanted the truth,” I said evenly. “This is it, kinky fantasies and dark secrets and all.”
“Yeah, I get it. Keep going. Erin talked to your mom, and…”
“Convinced her that the rules didn’t make sense anymore. My mom talked to my dad—he knew what had happened between us, back when I was a teenager—and they decided to change the rules. She wasn’t sure anything would happen at all, but then I called and told her our plans had changed and I’d be coming to Atlanta for a few days.
“She didn’t really make the final decision until she talked to me, about us and our relationship. I told her you knew we were swingers. She was…
‘feeling us out,’ I guess you’d say. She didn’t want to throw a bomb into our relationship. Yours and mine, I mean.”
“I knew who you meant. But if this isn’t a bomb, I’d hate to see what she thinks is.”
“No, it isn’t a bomb. You’d’ve run screaming if it were.”
“You can say that again.”
“Right, so… She had a plan and put it into action.” I gave Christy a pointed look. “Sound familiar?”
“Hold on, is that why you’re with me? ’Cause I’m like your mother?”
“No,” I said quickly. “Maybe a little, looks-wise, but you’re totally different in the personality department. You’re… you. And I guess it really boils down to ‘you excite me,’ although not like she does. That was an itch, a fantasy. You’re reality.”
“I don’t know if I really understand,” Christy admitted, “but thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, do you want me to keep going?”
“Sort of. I want to know, but I don’t… if that makes sense.”
“It does. So I’ll give you the big details but not the little ones.” I drew a deep breath and plunged ahead. “My parents offered to pay for Erin’s spring break. Then my dad traded trips so he’d be gone too.”
“Leaving just you and your mom. Ah, now I get it. I thought you’d be bored and lonely, but…”
“No. That was her plan. She… um… didn’t want any distractions.” Or awkwardness, I added to myself, in case things hadn’t worked out. “The weather was sunny the day after I came home, so we decided to work in the yard.”
“That part was true? What you told me on the phone?”
“It was all true, but I left out a lot.”
“You can say that again,” she said, but without heat.