It was thus that the doctor found us.
I heard his footsteps on the stairs and then the door was flung open.
He was smiling but it was a different kind of smile from that which I usually saw on his face, and I knew that he was more disturbed than I had ever seen him before.
” Mrs. Rockwell,” he cried. ” Why, tills is a surprise.”
” I decided to make the acquaintance of Mrs. Smith while I was waiting.”
He took my hand and held it firmly in his for a few seconds. I had a notion that he was seeking to control himself. Then he went to his wife’s sofa and laid a hand on her brow.
“You are far too excited, my dear,” he said.
“Has she been exciting herself?”
He was looking at Damaris and I could not see his face clearly.
“No, Father.” Damaris’s voice sounded faint as though she were a little girl and not very sure of herself.
He had turned to me. ” Forgive me, Mrs. Rockwell. I was concerned on two counts. On yours and that of my wife. You have come to see me.
You have something to tell me?”
“Yes,” I said, “I want to speak to you. I think it is important.”
” Very well,” he said. ” You will come to my consulting room. Shall we go now?”
” Yes, please,” I said; and I rose and went to Mrs. Smith’s couch.
I took the cold clammy hand in mine and I wondered about her as I said good-bye. She had changed with the coming of her husband, but I was not sure in what way, for it was as though a shutter had been drawn over her expression. I believed he was going to scold her for exciting herself. She had the air of a child who had disobeyed.
Her welfare is his greatest concern, I thought; which is natural. He who is so kind to his patients would be especially so to her.
I said good-bye to Damaris and the doctor led the way down to his consulting room.
As he shut the door and gave me a chair at the side of the roll-top desk and took his own chair. I felt my spirits rise a little. He looked so benign that I could not believe he would do anything but help roe.
” Now,” he said, ” what is the trouble?” j ” Strange things have been happening to me,” I burst out. ” You know about them.”
“Yes,” he admitted.
“Some you yourself have told me. I have heard of the rest through other sources.”
” You know then that I saw a monk in my bedroom.”
” I know that you thought you saw that.”
” So you don’t believe me.”
He lifted a hand. ” Let us say at this stage that I know that you saw it if that comforts you.”
” I don’t want comfort. Dr. Smith. I want people to accept what I tell them as truth.”
” That is not always easy,” he said, ” but remember I am here to help you.”
” Then,” I said, ” there were the incidents of the bed curtains the warming-pan and the cloak over the parapet.”
” That cloak you are wearing,” he said.
” So you even know that.”
” I had to be told. I am, you know, looking after your neal th
” And you believe that I have fancied all these things that they did not really happen outside my imagination.”
He did not speak for a moment and I insisted: ” Do you? Do you?”
He lifted a hand. ” Let us review this with calm. We need calm, Mrs.
Rockwell. You need it more than you need any thing else. “
” I am calm. What I need is people who believe in me.”
” Mrs. Rockwell, I am a doctor and I have had experience of many strange cases. I know I can talk to you frankly and intelligently.”
” So you do not. think I am mad?”
” Do not use such a word. There is no need to.”
” I am not afraid of words … any more than I am afraid of people who dress up as monks and play tricks on me.”
He was silent for a few seconds, then he said: “You are going through a difficult time. Your body is undergoing changes. Sometimes when this happens the personalities of women change. You have heard that they have odd fancies for things which they previously have been indifferent ?”
” This is no odd fancy!” I cried. ” I think I should tell you immediately that I am here because I know you have been discussing what you call my case with Mrs. Grantley and that you have both decided that I am … mentally unbalanced.”
“You overheard this!” he said; and I could see that he was taken aback;
I had no intention of betraying Aunt Sarah, so I said:
” I know that you have been discussing this together. You don’t deny it.”
” No,” he said slowly, ” that would be foolish of me, wouldn’t it?”
” So you and she have decided that I am crazy.”
” Nothing of the sort. Mrs. Rockwell, you are very excited. Now, before your pregnancy you were not easily excited, were you? That is one change we see.”
” What are you planning to do with me … to send me to Worstwhistle?”
He stared at me, but he could not disguise the fact that the thought had been in his mind.
I was stricken with fury . and panic. I stood up but he was immediately beside me. He laid his hands on my shoulders and gently forced me back into my seat.
” You have misunderstood,” he said, resuming his seat and speaking very gently. ” This is a painful matter to me. I am very fond of the family ‘at the Revels and their tragedies affect me deeply. Please believe that there is no question of your going to Wortwhistle … at this stage.”
I took him up at once. ” Then at what stage?”
” Please, please, be calm. Very good work is done at … that place.
You know I am a regular visitor there. You have been overwrought for some weeks. You could not hide this from me. “
“I have been overwrought because someone is trying to make me appear-hysterical. And how dare you talk to me of that place! You must be mad yourself.”
” I only want to help you.”
” Then find out who is doing these things. Find out who had monks’ robes at the pageant. We might discover who still has one.”
” You are still thinking of that unfortunate incident.”
” Of course I think of it. It was the beginning.”
” Mrs. Rockwell… Catherine … I want to be your friend. You can’t doubt that, can you?”
I looked into those dark brown eyes and I thought they were very soft and gentle.
” I became interested in you from the moment Gabriel brought you to the Revels,” he went on. ” And when your father came to the funeral I saw how matters stood between you. That touched me deeply. It made you seem so … vulnerable. But I am being too candid.”
” I want to hear what you-have to say,” I insisted. ” I want nothing held back.”
” Catherine, I wish you would trust me. More than any thing I want to help you through this difficult time. Damaris is not much younger than you, and when I have seen you together I have often wished that you, too, were my daughter. One of my dearest wishes was to be the father of a large family. But you are growing impatient with me. Let me say briefly that I have always felt towards you as I would towards a daughter, and I have hoped that you would confide in me, that I might be able to help you.”
” The best way in which you could do that would be to find out who it was who dressed up as a monk and came to my bedroom. If you could find that person, I shall be in no need of help.”
He looked at me sadly and shook his head.
“What are you suggesting?” I demanded.
” Only that I want you to confide your troubles in me … as you would to your own father.” He hesitated and, shrugging his shoulders, added: