No, I didn’t say that.
I did take a deep breath. And then I did try to puff up my chest. And then I looked him in those icy eyes, and I said, “You should try reading more than just Sports Illustrated.”
Then I dug my poles into the ground, summoned up all my strength, and pushed off as hard as I could.
The only thing about trying to make a dramatic exit on skis is that there is no graceful way to do it. At least not the way I ski. I lifted my feet up, turned my body, and then thrust myself right into —
“Hey!”
“Hey.” It was Eric. Awesome. Just who I wanted to see. I had managed to avoid him at the slopes the whole week until now, but of course it was the perfect time to run into him.
“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” he asked.
“Nowhere. Nothing. Sorry I knocked into you.” I tried to move past him, but he stopped me with his hand.
“Hey, no worries. You heading up?” He pointed to the ski lift. I could’ve lied, I guess. I looked behind him. The line of people waiting wound all the way to the chalet now. I could just imagine standing there, watching Drew and Fuzzy climb up into the sky, while I waited all alone. I looked back at Eric. The choices were dismal and dismaller.
“Yeah, I guess so,” I said glumly.
“Mind if I join you?” He just didn’t get it, did he? I was seriously regretting telling Ashley to head off. Along with a lot of other things I’d done in the past half hour.
“Whatever,” I mumbled, pushing forward in the line.
“Yow! No fair! You’re making it rock!” squealed Fuzzy as she and Drew started sailing up, her scraggly scarf trailing behind them. Wasn’t there a way that thing could get caught in the chair and choke her? Just a little bit?
Eric and I moved forward silently. At least he wasn’t trying to strike up a conversation. I didn’t know who I hated more right now, Eric for warning me about Drew being a player, or Drew for proving him right. How could he have looked at me so coolly, like I was a complete stranger? Like he hadn’t been trying to undo my jeans just the other night? I watched his blond head get smaller in the sky. I bet his hair was dyed. And P.S. — cherry ChapStick was definitely for girls. I sighed. Most of all I hated myself right now, for falling for him.
The lift came toward us, and Eric and I got on. I felt my teeth grind together as we slowly inched up the side of the mountain.
And then, just as we were getting close to the top, Eric said, “Listen, Sam, I feel like I was kinda out of line when I said that stuff about Drew the other night …”
“Yeah, I don’t really want to talk about this right now.”
“No, we don’t have to talk about it. I just wanted to say it was none of my business. I’m sorry. I really am. But I wouldn’t have said it if —”
“If it wasn’t true?” I finished.
“No, if —”
“Listen, Eric. You were right. Is that what you want to hear? Because you were. He’s up there right now about to give some other girl a private tutorial and I’m pretty sure that involves getting in his Jetta tonight or finding some hot tub, and I’m the fool, once again. So there! You were right. I was wrong. Are you happy now?”
His mouth was hanging open a little. “No. No, I’m not happy,” he said. “I didn’t mean to make you feel —”
But there was no time for him to finish. We were already at the top of the slope. We both lifted our skis and let go, coasting forward and then plowing to a stop, right next to the signs for the different trails.
I turned toward Devil’s Canyon. I knew it was supposed to be one of the hardest trails, but I didn’t care. I needed some speed. Some wind in my face. I needed to get away. Eric grabbed my arm.
“Wait, Sam. Hey, I’m really sorry that happened to you. I didn’t tell you about Drew because I wanted you to — just, I’m sorry he did that to you.”
“Well, don’t worry about it. It’s over now,” I said, and without waiting a breath, I shoved off as hard as I could. I was flying, pulling through turns, hopping over dips, careening down the mountainside, bending my knees low and pushing into the wind.
I screamed. I bellowed. I didn’t care who heard me. I didn’t care what anybody thought of me. I was free! I was going to forget the whole world and I was going to conquer this slope. I tore through the snow, slipping and dipping and sliding and racing. Snaking through a patch of trees, swerving around a small hill, and then a mound of powdery-looking snow.
“Saaaam! Hold on!” I heard Eric calling behind me, but I ignored him. I didn’t need him. I didn’t need him or Drew or anyone. All I needed was me and the sky. I lifted both poles high in the air and stood up tall. I wanted to feel every inch of my body touch the air.
“Yoweeeeeeee!” I yelled.
And then something shifted. The ground was coming toward me. The trees were leaning sideways and my skis were going forward but the rest of my body wasn’t catching up to them. I tried to plow to a stop but my left leg was sliding out and my right one was going in the opposite direction, and then the next thing I knew I was slipping backward. The trees came toward me, the sky came toward me, the yellow yolk of sun was falling on me, and then I hit earth. Hard. I felt my teeth knock together and all the air escape from my chest and then everything went dark.
“Sam! Sam! Can you hear me?”
I opened my eyes, and the sky was green. A deep jade with little flecks of yellow. No, wait. A thin nose poked out in between. It was …?
“Hey,” Eric said softly. His ears were bright red from the cold.
“Your ears are cold,” I heard myself saying, and he started to laugh. His eyes were still wide and worried, though.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“I’m gonna call ski patrol,” he said.
“No, no! Please don’t.” I didn’t feel like getting poked and prodded by those guys in bright orange snowsuits I had seen flying by. I could wiggle all my fingers and toes. Nothing felt broken. I just needed time to lie there for a minute or two.
“Does anything hurt?”
“I don’t think so. Just my head.” My tongue was thick and fuzzy. It felt like someone was squeezing my brain.
“What about if I just —”
“Whoa!” said Drew, flying in next to me, his skis shaving off snow right into my face. “That was a doozy, huh?”
“I’m okay.” I wasn’t quite sure of that, but I really wanted him to go away.
Drew looked me up and down. “Well, let me see,” he said.
“I was gonna call the ski patrol …” Eric started.
Drew ignored him. “Does this hurt?” he said, taking one of my legs and giving it a little shake. I couldn’t look at him. It was too weird having him touch me like this. I remembered how gentle his hands were before. Now I felt like a head of iceberg lettuce in the produce aisle.
“Sam?” Drew said.
“No, it’s fine,” I said.
“This?” He shook the other.
“Nope.”
“Uh, okay, how many fingers am I holding up?” He put up three. This was ridiculous.
“You don’t have to do this,” I said, rolling my eyes. Ow, that hurt.
“Okay, well then, can you get up? Because we really should get out of the middle of the trail.”
“Yeah, okay. Fine.” Anything to get him out of here.
He started pulling me up by the arm. I tried to follow, but it felt like my legs were made of lead. I couldn’t get my feet to plant themselves. The ground started tilting back and forth, and everything turned bright pink. My stomach lurched forward and my head felt like it was on backward, and before I knew it, I was crumpling down to my knees, and my lunch was coming out all over the snow.