“Are you shittin’ us?” Dot asked the waitress.
Celeste seemed offended, but she also looked afraid; she knew something was wrong, but she didn’t know why or what it was. Neither did Danny, but to anyone seeing him, the writer appeared to be frightened, too.
“Look, our cook’s got a limp, and he puts honey in his pizza dough-it’s no big deal,” Celeste said to them.
“Maybe it’s a big deal to us,” May told the waitress.
“Is he a little fella?” Dot asked.
“Yeah… and what’s his name?” May asked.
“I would say our cook is… slightly built,” Celeste answered carefully. “His name’s Tony.”
“Oh,” Dot said, disappointed.
“Tony,” May repeated, shaking her head.
“You can bring us one apple pie and one blueberry cobbler,” Dot told the waitress.
“We’ll share ’em,” May said.
It might have ended there, if Danny hadn’t spoken; it was his voice that made Dot and May look at him more closely. When they’d first seen him, they must have missed the writer’s physical resemblance to his father as a young man, but it was how well-spoken Danny was that reminded both Dot and May of the cook. In a town like Twisted River, the cook’s enunciation-and his perfect diction-had stood out.
“Might I inquire if you two ladies are from around here?” Danny asked those bad old broads.
“Sweet Jesus, May,” Dot said to her friend. “Don’t that voice kinda take you back?”
“Way back,” May said, looking hard at Danny. “Don’t he look just like Cookie, too?”
The Cookie word was enough to tell Danny where these old ladies were from, and why they might have been badgering Celeste about honey in pizza dough and a little fella of a cook-one who limped.
“Your name was Danny,” Dot said to him. “Have you changed your name, too?”
“No,” the writer told them too quickly.
“I gotta meet this here cook,” May said.
“Why don’tcha tell your dad to come say hello to us, will ya?” Dot asked Danny. “It’s been so long since we seen one another, we got some serious catchin’ up to do.”
Celeste came back with the ladies’ desserts, which Danny knew would be only a temporary distraction.
“Celeste,” Danny said. “Would you please tell Pop that there are two old friends who want to see him? Tell him they’re from Twisted River,” Danny told her.
“Our cook’s name is Tony,” Celeste said a little desperately to the bad old broads. She’d heard enough about Twisted River to make her hope she would never hear anything more about it. (The cook had told her it would be all over on the day Twisted River caught up to him.)
“Your cook’s name is Cookie,” Dot said to the waitress.
“Just tell him we’re chokin’,” May told Celeste. “That’ll bring him runnin’.”
“Limpin’, you mean,” Dot corrected her, but now their cackles were suppressed. If the writer had to guess, it seemed that these women had a score to settle with his father.
“You got the same superior-soundin’ voice as your daddy,” May said to Danny.
“Is the Injun around?” Dot asked him.
“No, Jane is… long gone,” Danny told them.
In the kitchen, Celeste was still dry-eyed when she walked past her daughter. “I could have used a little help with the party of eight, Mom,” Loretta was saying to her, “and then those three couples came in, but you just kept talking away to those two old biddies.”
“Those old biddies are from Twisted River,” Celeste told the cook. “They said to tell you they were chokin’… Cookie.” Celeste had never seen such an expression on Tony Angel’s face-none of them had-but of course she’d never called him “Cookie” before.
“Is there a problem, boss?” the sous chef asked.
“It was the honey in the pizza, wasn’t it?” Celeste was saying. “The honey gave it away, I guess.”
“Dot and May. It’s finished, sweetheart,” Tony Angel said to Celeste; she started to cry.
“Mom?” Loretta said.
“You don’t know me,” the cook told them all. “You won’t ever know where I go from here.” He took off his apron and let it fall on the floor. “You’re in charge, Greg,” he said to the sous chef.
“They don’t know your last name, not unless Danny tells them,” Celeste managed to say; Loretta was holding her while she sobbed.
The cook walked out into the dining room. Danny was standing between him and the two tough broads. “They don’t know the Angel name, Pop,” his son whispered to him.
“Well, that’s something to be thankful for,” his dad said.
“I wouldn’t call that a little limp-would you, May?” Dot asked her old friend.
“Hello, ladies,” the cook said to them, but he didn’t come any closer.
“The limp’s gotten worse, if you ask me,” May replied to Dot.
“Are you just traveling through?” the cook asked them.
“How come you changed your name, Cookie?” Dot asked him.
“Tony was easier to say than Dominic,” he answered them, “and it still sounds Italian.”
“You look awful, Cookie-you’re as white as flour!” May told him.
“I don’t get a lot of sunshine in the kitchen,” the cook said.
“You look like you been hidin’ under a rock,” Dot said to him.
“How come you and Danny are so spooked to see us?” May asked him.
“They were always superior to us,” Dot reminded her friend. “Even as a kid, you were a superior little snot,” she said to Danny.
“Where are you living nowadays?” the cook asked them. He was hoping they lived close by-somewhere in Vermont, or in New York State-but he could tell by their accents, and by just looking at them, that they were still living in Coos County.
“ Milan,” May answered. “We see your pal Ketchum, from time to time.”
“Not that Ketchum would say hello to us, or nothin’,” Dot said. “You was all so superior-the three of you and the Injun!”
“Well…” the cook began; his voice trailed away. “I have a lot to do, in the kitchen.”
“First you was gonna put honey in the dough, and the next minute you wasn’t. Then you changed your mind about it again, I guess,” May said to him.
“That’s right,” the cook said.
“I’m havin’ a look in the kitchen,” Dot suddenly said. “I don’t believe a fuckin’ word these two are tellin’ us. I’m gonna see for myself if Jane’s still with him!” Neither Danny nor his dad did anything to stop her. May just waited with them while Dot went into the kitchen.
“There’s the two waitresses, both of ’em cryin’, and a young cook, and what looks like a busboy, and some kid doin’ the dishes-no Injun,” Dot announced, when she came back.
“Boy, do you look like you’re puttin’ your pecker somewhere you shouldn’t, Cookie!” May told him. “You, too,” she said to Danny. “You got a wife and kids, or anythin’?”
“No wife, no children,” Danny told them-again, too quickly.
“Bullshit,” Dot said. “I don’t believe a fuckin’ word!”
“And I suppose you’re not bangin’ anybody, either?” May asked the cook. He didn’t answer her; he just kept looking at his son, Daniel. Their minds were racing far ahead of this moment in Avellino. How soon could they leave? Where would they go this time? How long before these bad old broads crossed paths with Carl, and what would they tell the cowboy when they ran into him? (Carl lived in Berlin; Ketchum lived in Errol. Milan was between them.)
“If you ask me, Cookie’s humpin’ our waitress-that older one,” Dot said to May. “She’s the one doin’ most of the cryin’.”
The cook just turned and walked back into the kitchen. “Tell them their dinners are on me, Daniel-free pizzas, free desserts,” he said as he was leaving.