Of course it didn’t and in the end she knew it was time to drag herself back into the mess that had displaced her life.
She stretched her legs. The pain was similar to that after strenuous exercise; not too bad, bearable. She pushed herself up against the pillows and carefully swung round. She felt better than she had expected.
Her clothes were thrown on a chair and she vaguely remembered Dolly helping her to undress and pull on the T shirt that she had on. Her mouth was dry and her tongue felt coated, the effect of the drugs she supposed. With the stiff movements and sighing groans of an old woman she rose to her feet and straightened her creaking back. A dresser stood against the wall; a mirror in a frame standing on the polished top.
She hadn’t seen her face. Dolly told her it was bruised and battered but nothing could have prepared her for the wreckage that greeted her startled gaze. The skin around both eyes was blackened and swollen and her cheeks were multi-coloured with bruises. She had felt the swelling in her lips but hadn’t been prepared for the sight of them; liver coloured with bruising and streaked with red where the skin had burst.
Though she knew it was all temporary – the doctor had assured her that most of it was superficial and would all heal – it was worse than any ruin George had caused. But of course he had been careful to hide his handiwork: he had expected her to live.
The tiny creak of the door had Dolly out of the kitchen and half way up the narrow staircase barely before Pauline had moved across the landing.
“How are you feeling? Take it carefully; here let me help you.”
“Thanks. Actually it’s not too bad.”
“You’ve been crying again haven’t you?”
“I saw my face. It’s silly I know but…” She shrugged her shoulders.
“It’ll mend my dear. You’ll be surprised. It won’t take long.”
“Oh I know. It’s not that important really, not just now. Is there news Dolly, have they found him?”
“I haven’t heard anything. Nobody has been, but we are supposed to give them a call once you are up and about. There is just one constable now at the cottage; all the cars have gone. I don’t know about the beach. Jim has gone out to see what’s happening. He’ll be back soon.
“Come on down and have some soup. You’ll feel better with some food in your tummy.”
“Oh, you are kind. I don’t know what I’d have done without you. Thank you. And Dolly, I didn’t mean to kill him. Well, I don’t know what I meant; I just had to get away. You do believe me don’t you?” The moment of hesitation was brief but it was enough, no-one really knew what to think, not even this kind new friend.
It was time for truth. It was time to bring everything out into the light. “Can you call them for me, the police? I need to tell them everything that’s happened. Before I do though Dolly, I want to apologise to you. I haven’t been completely honest, I am sorry but maybe when I explain you’ll understand.”
Pauline had made her way slowly down the steps and now Dolly reached a hand and gently squeezed her shoulder. “Whatever you’ve done, or said I’m sure you had your reasons. I think I’m a pretty good judge when it comes to people and I know you’re not a bad person Pauline. Come on, let’s get on with it. You’ll feel better when it’s over.”
When it’s over. It would never be over. She would remember his screams forever. “Bitch! Bitch!” And the look in his eyes as he had scrabbled in the rocks for handholds and felt the cliff edge give beneath his panicked feet. No, some things were never over.
Chapter 29
She had expected it to be hard. Pauline told herself that after all she had been through the police with their questions would be difficult to face, but she would get through it. In the event it was far harder than she had imagined.
They still didn’t know what to think of her. They had offered to bring a solicitor. The idea chilled her and she refused. Because she was still in pain from her injuries they had come to the farm instead of taking her to the police station. Their puzzlement had led them to be more gentle with her than she had expected but the kindness didn’t lessen the guilt and the fear she felt.
It was calm and quiet in the lounge. A constable stood near the door. The hush was broken only with the sound of rain in the trees and splashing against the windows and the occasional whoosh as a car passed on the wet road outside. Detective Ryan pursed her lips and shook her head, just a quick flick. She raised her eyes to meet the troubled gaze of the beaten, sad looking woman perched on the edge of the old settee.
“We haven’t found a body. Teams have been out searching all yesterday and again this morning but there is no sign. So, either he wasn’t dead and left under his own steam...” As Pauline opened her mouth to speak the policewoman raised a hand. “Or, there was no body, and that presents a puzzle of its own.”
“He must have washed away. The tide took him.”
“No, it’s unlikely. We have had an expert from the coastguard consulting and – taking into account the time of year – when you say you last saw the body and the state of the tide it would be almost impossible for it to wash out to sea. You say it was caught in the rocks for one thing.”
“Yes, yes it was. I called down to him, the water was turning him and moving him, but he was caught amongst the rocks. Yes.”
“Exactly. And at this time of the year that is the high tide level so it would take a freak wave, or some other unlikely event to move him.”
“Well, it could happen, couldn’t it?”
“Yes, it could. But then the formation of the coast there means the body would wash to the other side of the bay and not out into open water.
“The thing is Pauline, if there is no body, there is no reason for you to have called us. But there are your injuries which are obvious. Do you understand my dilemma? If what you are telling me is not true then it gives us a whole other set of problems. We have been trying to contact your husband on the number you gave us but haven’t been able to get an answer. There is nobody at the address. Would you expect him to be there? Have you spoken to him yourself?”
So there he was again; George. She was beginning to see, no matter how far she ran, no matter what horror she endured he would be there. She drew in a deep breath.
“I left him. I think I told you.”
“Yes, I remember and we need to speak to him, to confirm that. We need you to clarify what exactly had happened because it is a rat’s nest at the moment.”
“I lied you see. I lied to the police.”
“Ah. So are you telling me now there was no body, no attack?”
“No, no you don’t understand. I didn’t lie to you. This isn’t a lie. I lied before, to the police in Yorkshire.”
“What police in Yorkshire?”
“I left home, well, left George, but he didn’t know, he was away. That's why I chose to go just then. I had planned it all and I was coming here to hide. I’ve bought a house in France. That’s where I’m going; the day after tomorrow it should be.”
“Well, I have to tell you that at the moment it would be better if you don’t plan on going anywhere out of the country. Not until this is all sorted out.”
She hadn’t understood. The uproar had been so loud in her life that she hadn’t appreciated how her plans may be spoiled and her very future put in jeopardy. The realization was a physical blow. Drawing breath into her lungs, hanging on to a semblance of sanity, just holding on was all she could manage. Her hands were clasped in her lap, the knuckles white with tension and thoughts jittered and spun in her brain when she closed her eyes. Was there a way through this? If there was she couldn’t find it, not right now, maybe not ever.