“I’m not a monster,” Sparks whispered, but looking at the corpse in front of him, it was hard to believe it.
He looked around, half expecting to find Caleb frowning at him. But there was no one. Again, he was alone. Just him and a corpse. What should he do with it? It felt wrong to just leave it here.
The stabs of pain coming from his side made him tear his gaze from the body. His wound was bleeding again — half the stitches had come loose. Crap. He held his hand against the hole, trying to stem the flow. He needed something to wrap it. Feeling both guilty and ashamed, he pulled the shirt off the man’s body and wrapped it around his chest, tying its ends together to hold it in place.
He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, staring at the body. Eventually, the urge to get the hell away overpowered the trance that held him in place. He paused at the door. “I’m sorry, really,” he said, even though there was nobody alive to listen. “I didn’t mean to. I was just… hungry.”
Stepping out of the building and back into the rain, Sparks hunched his shoulders and continued his journey. His hunger had left him. He dragged his feet through the puddles, freezing water sinking into his boots. There was no sign of the two men who had run away. He wondered if they would come back, and what they would think when they found their friend.
It’s wasn’t him that I was mad at, Sparks thought, he didn’t deserve to die. He quickened his pace, a newfound wave of energy rushing through him, formed from the beating in his chest. He had to get to the Haven. To Roman.
Roman was the one who really deserved Sparks’ anger.
20
Tan helped Roman to his feet. In the hour they had sat there, resting, Roman’s limbs felt like they had turned to stone. He no longer felt the cold, just an empty numbness. The drops of water running down his cheeks and dripping from his chin were barely noticeable. Roman clung to Tan until his feeling returned enough to support himself.
“So, where to, Boss?” Tan asked.
“The Mutt’s Tail. We need Caleb.”
“And Sparks?”
Roman grimaced. What was he going to do about the boy? Sparks would demand his own needle and Roman would rather cut off his own hand than give one to him. However, there wasn’t a lot of other options, and, unfortunately, Roman had already made the deal with Caleb. “We need him too,” he said finally.
“He’s gonna want—”
“I know what he wants. He can have it. If it helps our chances of getting back Ruby, I can’t say no.”
“And what about Spencer?”
They still needed Ashton Spencer, and he would be an easier target than Candle. But while catching Spencer might help save the city, it would do nothing to save Ruby. “Our first priority is Ruby. We’ll worry about Spencer after she’s safe.”
Tan nodded. “Not that I’m complaining, but, just in case you’ve forgotten, Spencer holds the secret to stopping the Adrenalites forever.”
“I know that.”
“So Ruby’s more important than the rest of the city?”
“Yeah.”
“You really do care about her, don’t you?”
Roman went silent for a long moment, when he finally spoke, the words came slowly. “It’s… more than that.”
“I knew it.” Tan clapped Roman on the shoulder, grinning. “I just wanted to hear you admit it. You’re finally being honest to yourself.”
“Bastard.”
Tan lifted his head, tongue out, lapping up the rain. Another crack of lightning ripped through the sky. Roman flinched. He just wanted silence, and a warm fire, and Ruby. But the world was in the mood to deny him.
They made slow progress through the streets. Four blocks on, two men ran past — the first they had seen since leaving the Haven. They looked in a rush to get wherever it was they were going. Roman thought of calling out to them, warning them to stay away from the Haven, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort.
“When we get to the bar,” Tan said, breaking their silence. “Do you reckon Griff would give us free drinks, on account of the fact we’ll probably all be dead within the week? I’m parched.”
Roman snorted. “Even if his entire bar was collapsing, Griff wouldn’t let you leave until you had paid the last credit.”
“True that. He is a stingy asshole.”
“But if you threatened to rip off that tie of his? He’d nearly faint and probably offer you his firstborn son.”
“He has a son? I didn’t think any girl would ever…”
“Just an expression.” Roman shrugged. “I never bothered to ask him about family.”
The streetlights remained dark. Roman suspected that whatever Caleb and Sparks had done to cut the power had been permanent. He frowned at the thought. That station provided power to at least three districts, losing it was a huge loss for the city. But, of course, Legacy had worse concerns right now.
“So, the real question is,” Tan said, “how are we going to convince Caleb to help us? It’s not as though we’re going to get paid for bringing Candle to Gavin.”
Roman ground his teeth. “Ruby’s in danger, that will mean something to him. Maybe. Hopefully.”
“If only his heart were the size of the rest of him.”
Roman’s foot caught on a crack on the pavement, hidden in a puddle. He stumbled. Tan’s hands grabbed him just in time to save him from falling. “Thanks,” he muttered as he regained his balance.
“Don’t sweat it, Boss.”
Roman kept a hand on Tan’s shoulder for support. “Why are you still helping me, Tan? You’ve made it clear that you think I’m a fool.”
“You are. You’re this city biggest, ugliest and angriest idiot. And so I guess staying with you makes me a lunatic.”
“You always were one. But seriously, why?”
Tan shrugged. “Do you remember what I was like when you met me?”
Roman did. All too well. “You were… a surprisingly effective thief.”
“That’s a nice way of putting it. I was an insufferable and hopeless drunk, too lost in my own misery to notice anyone else. You hired me anyway.”
“I was pretty desperate back then,” Roman said. “Not many people were willing to be recruited into the bounty hunting business.”
“Most people had something to lose.”
“Well, I’m glad you were hopeless and desperate enough to join me.”
“So am I,” Tan said. “I’ve gained something to lose: a friend. And friends don’t abandon friends, no matter what — that’s what my brother once told me.”
Roman blinked. “You never told me you had a brother.”
“I used to.”
“What happened to him?”
“Death happened.”
“Oh.” A long silence followed. Roman didn’t know what to say. Eventually, he realized there was only one thing he could say. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s his,” Tan said slowly. His usual grin was nowhere to be seen. “After our mother died, we were both pretty devastated. I feel into drinking. He chose to gamble. It was hard, but I reckoned it was okay, as long as we had each other to grieve with, you know?” He paused, and when he spoke again his voice shook. “Then he figured out how to make the grief go away: he slit his wrists. And then I had no one left to drink with.”
Again there was nothing else to say but: “I’m so sorry, Tan.”
“I’m okay.” Tan’s smile returned, but it lacked its usual warmth. “Now I’ve got people to drink with again.”
“And that’s why you stay with me?”
“Exactly. I don’t care about the rogues, or the Ministries, or the money,” Tan said. “All I care about is the night after each mission, when we sit at our booth at Mutt’s Tail and drink, together as a team.”