That was a stinging remark. Legon had always been nice to him, and even now he wasn’t talking unkindly. But he was being very frank.
He felt himself tense for an argument. “So, you’re right and I’m wrong?” Keither spat.
Legon’s response was genial. “Only if you perceive being alive as the desired outcome of this little adventure.”
“What kind of dumb thing is that to say? Why would I want to die?”
Legon brought a finger to his lips, telling him not to wake the others. “If you do care about living, why don’t you act like it?”
Keither was at a loss for this. Legon was using logic against him and winning by the looks of it.
“Why do you do nothing with your life, Keither?”
There was real interest and concern in his tone. Legon was trying to understand, trying to figure out why someone would choose the life Keither did.
“Well I, I want to, but it’s not…well…”
“It’s not as easy? Don’t you want things in this life?”
“Well, yes.” Keither said, of course he did
Legon pressed “Like what?”
He stopped at this. What did he want out of life? He thought for a moment, taking in his surroundings, stopping just a moment longer on Sara. A normal person wouldn’t have seen the pause, but someone trained in the Jezeer would, and so would an Elf. Both sat before him in one person. “If you want her, you will need to try a bit harder, don’t you think?” Legon asked.
“What did Kovos think of me?” Keither blurted without thinking.
He saw the outline of Legon’s head tilt to the side. “Do you really want to know?”
Did he? Was this something that he could handle right after his brother’s death? Within hours really, was he ready for the good or the bad?
“Yes.”
“What if it is unpleasant? Once said, there is no taking it back.”
Obviously there was no taking things back. Was Legon talking about the effect that it might have on him? Well, this news would have an effect on Keither. That was for sure.
“Yes, tell me, please.” As he spoke, he tried to send the message with his mind as well, showing the emotions that showed his desire.
“Very well. He loved you very deeply, and wanted only the best for you. He thought that you were more intelligent than him and that you had more natural talent as well.”
Keither was at a loss for words “He did? Wow. I always thought that he loved me as a brother but didn’t like me all that much.”
Legon leaned forward. “You are more intelligent than him and more talented, I agree. But I didn’t say that he liked you. He loved you, and there is a difference. You don’t have to like someone that you love.”
“Oh. Well, thank you for telling me.”
“I’m not done, Keither. He thought you were lazy and stubborn beyond reason. He didn’t like you because you are throwing your life away, a life that he would have liked to have. You make no attempt to hone your skills, barring trying to prove people wrong. You also refuse to grow as a person.”
There was a lump in Keither’s throat at this. He wasn’t ready for this news. Keither knew it was hurting Legon to say this. The man had taken his pain for a short time; there was no way causing more would feel good.
“Is there more?” Keither asked
Legon started again. “Yes. He was convinced that you hated him. That was what he thought at the end, but he was willing to do what it took to give you a shot. Keither, I’m sorry, I know this was not what you wanted to hear, but remember he and I both think that you are capable of great things if you try.”
Legon gestured with his head at where Sara slept. “And she does as well.”
Legon was telling the truth, and that’s what stung the most. Keither’s brother was a hero, but he was… “A lump of lard,” he thought.
Legon spoke, not needing to read his mind. “But it is a choice, know that. You choose what you are. Make sure it’s a choice that you will not regret on your death bed.”
“Ok, I will,” was the only response he had.
“Now,” Legon said flatly.
“What? Why now? Can’t I think about what I want to be?”
“I’m not talking about a trade or where to live. Decide who you are to be now so when presented with obstacles in life you have already chosen what to do. Not choosing is a choice. You have thought long enough. I will support you in whatever choice you make.”
Keither knew that was a true statement. Legon would take the mantle of older brother, but unlike Kovos, he would not make decisions for him. Keither looked down, thinking. He wasn’t unhappy with his life; he was content. He looked over at Sara. To him she was the embodiment of a different future whether she chose him or not. That path would have lots of pain in it, and sorrow; his current path would not.
“My current path is easier and will mean less suffering in this life…”
“But it will also mean less happiness as well. Life is a balance. Your capacity to do good is only as strong as your ability to do evil, remember that.”
He had a point. Keither was content with life but that was it. He wasn’t all that happy or sad. This little adventure of theirs made him feel more alive than he ever had. Still, he didn’t want the suffering. He looked at the sleeping form of Sara almost as if it would tell him what to do, and in a way it did. This was going to be wonderfully horrible, he thought. It was his choice of what he did with this life. He may have the potential to do bad things, but he didn’t have to choose them. He could still choose the good. A shiver ran down his spine as the thought of what his true potential might be and, more important, the road that it would take him down.
“I will be a real person. I will be what I was meant to be.” It sounded odd for him to say, it sounded pompous and arrogant, but at least he was trying.
Legon was looking intently at the boy, wondering if he would choose to be a man or remain a boy. It tore at him to hurt Keither, but he was to take Kovos’ place, a job he took very seriously. It was cruel of him to tell Keither the truth of Kovos’ and his thoughts; you were supposed to say that someone loved and cared for you and that they were proud, yet this was a lie. But if Keither chose to be something then this night would be a reminder for him in dark times, a defining moment. Conversely, if he chose not to move then this would haunt him for life and there might be no chance at convincing him again.
Was this his place? He purpose was to restore, right? But what was he to restore Keither to? A voice in his mind said he was also to destroy, but was destruction all bad? He would have to destroy the Iumenta to restore order, wouldn’t he? This was just another function of the Everser Vald. This was the risk that was taken; it would be up to Keither to decide the outcome. Either way, Legon would live with it and do his best for the boy or man, depending on what he decided.
Keither was now looking at Sara, and he could almost see the wheels turning in his head. He was standing on a path now, but which one was it? When Keither turned his attention back to Legon there was a look that could have been hate or determination, Legon wasn’t sure. With Keither they often came together. After his pronouncement, though, he knew it was the latter, and he smiled inwardly.
“Good, Keither, now sleep. Tomorrow we will reach the Precipice, if there is trouble you will be the lead rider so the rest of us may fight with magic.”
“What’s the Precipice? Sorry, I wasn’t listening to Arkin earlier.”
“It is the outpost for the Elves and Humans in this part of the land. It is said to be the only one for the humans. The rest of their lands are blocked by the Cornis mountain range to the northwest and then Elven lands to the east.”
“Is there no way by the sea? We’re close to that now, aren’t we?”
“Yes, I think we are, and the city that feeds and takes care of the Precipice is called Manton and it is a coastal city, but the Iumenta won’t do anything via the sea.”
“Why do you think that is?”