“Wish it was you?” he whispers and chills travel up my back. I automatically attempt to step away from Rob, but he pulls me back. “Not the angel you thought he was, huh?” he laughs. He twists me around to face him and although he’s laughing his comment off, I can’t help but feel like he means it. Panic arises as I wonder if Rob has seen something. God, did he see that kiss on New Year’s?
Rob keeps me wrapped in his arms when a slow song starts, but I can’t get my mind to erase what I just saw. As Rob’s breath tickles my neck while he sways me back and forth, I desperately want to see what Grant’s doing. I knew he wasn’t a monk, but I didn’t think he was the kind of guy who fucked a girl up against a wall in the middle of a club either. After the song ends, I tell Rob that I need to go to the bathroom. He places his hands on either side of my face and starts to kiss me. Thrusting his tongue into my mouth, he doesn’t let up. It starts to feel possessive, as though he’s trying to prove to everyone I’m his. Eventually I push him away and he laughs while I stalk off.
Standing on my tip-toes, I search for the bathrooms. I notice a long, dark hallway and assume that they must be down there. Side-stepping and gently nudging people out of my way, I finally reach the hallway, but none of the doors are marked. I attempt to push one open but it’s locked. Assuming it’s a storage locker or something, I make my way down to the next door, surprised to find that it’s open. I spot a few stalls and since there isn’t a urinal in sight, I figure it must be the girls’ bathroom.
It’s unusually clean and I’m wondering why there isn’t a line outside. Every bar and club I’ve ever been to has always had a long line of girls waiting to use the bathroom. Hey, I’m not complaining though. Opening a stall door, I hover over the toilet to do my business when I hear some giggling. Peering under the stall, I find two sets of shoes near the sink. Then I see the heels disappear, and it’s obvious that she’s been placed on the sink countertop. As I laugh to myself, I open the door, thinking I’ll just apologize for interrupting and then make my way out.
I unlock and open the door to see that the girl’s shirt is opened, revealing her pink lace bra. Her shirt is hiked up by her waist and she’s fiddling with the guy’s pants. I quietly excuse myself, although they don’t say anything. I assume they are too wrapped up in one another to notice me.
My hand is on the door handle, ready to pull it open, when the girl says, “God Grant, take me.” Without even thinking, my head turns and his blues meet my hazel. My throat feels like it’s closing in on me, and I think I could be hyperventilating. He pushes back from the girl and she glances my way but doesn’t try to conceal herself. In what seems like an hour but in reality is probably only a minute, I catch an emptiness in his eyes. Almost as if it isn’t him standing there, like some alien has taken over his body. His hands move to start zipping up his pants, but I can’t stick around. I pull the door open hard and then leave. Before I can get to the end of the hallway, a stocky man approaches me.
“You aren’t supposed to be back here,” he tells me, but at this point I could care less. I wave him off but he’s still lecturing me on and the fact that these bathrooms are only for employees.
“Jessa…wait,” Grant shouts out to me. I don’t turn around, continuing to ignore him. It’s not like I have a reason to be upset since he’s not mine. “Please,” he says and his hand is on my arm, but all I can think of is that those fingers were probably inside of that hussy. I snap my arm back and he appears offended by my action. “It’s not what it looked like,” he says with clear desperation in his voice. The way he sounds, as if he’s trying to get me to understand, makes me have to remind myself again that he’s not mine.
“Grant, you’re single. You can do what you want,” I say, my eyes searching around the club, trying to find a way to get out of here.
“Please…just listen to me,” he begs, and I can’t ignore the sadness in his eyes. “I usually don’t do things like that,” he points toward the door and sways a little, the first sign I’ve seen that he has had too much to drink.
“Again, it’s fine, Grant,” I try to reassure him, even if I’ll never get that vision out of my head.
“No it’s not, Jessa. I haven’t been with anyone for months, I swear-“
“Grant, seriously. Stop it. It doesn’t matter,” I say, placing my hand in front of his face.
“Yes it does,” he says, his voice starting to slur a little.
“Are you drunk?” I ask.
“Maybe a little bit,” he says with a smirk, holding up his fingers with a small space in between. I can’t help my lips turning up; I’ve never seen Grant drunk before.
“Just go back,” I signal toward the door, where the girl now leans against it, waiting for him.
“I don’t want to,” he says. “God, what you’ve done to me. I can’t even screw another girl anymore. I can’t sleep without you invading my dreams. I can’t get those lips out of my mind.” He brushes his thumb across my lips, slowly moving it up and down. I’m still as a tree trunk, mesmerized by his words. “It was you with me in that bathroom. They were your lips I kissed, because if I close my eyes tight enough, I can still taste you.” The girl huffs off at his admission. My body shudders with goose bumps. “I would do anything to have you, but I have to get you out of my head because you want someone else.”
“Grant,” I sigh, but before I can say anything, he holds his finger to my lips.
“No Jessa, you’re not mine. But I’m sorry you had to see that in there.” He leans in and places his hands on either side of my face, kisses my forehead, and then disappears into the crowd. I’ve never wanted to be someone else’s so badly in my life.
Chapter 5
Grant
The sun beats into the room, and I scrunch my eyes before tossing a pillow over my head. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t awake at the crack of dawn. Feeling around my bed with my arm, I make sure I didn’t bring anyone home last night. After Jessa finding me in that bathroom, I let everyone and anyone buy me shots. Let’s say the ‘brothers’ knew something was up and were more than willing to be active participants. Vaguely, I remember some red head grinding against me at some point in the evening but pushed her toward another buddy unable to want anyone but Jessa.
Shit, what the fuck has happened to me? I don’t want this, I don’t want a fucking relationship. Maybe if I just screwed her, I’d be okay and this fucking want would end. Hell no, I shake my head, knowing that’s not what I want with her. For the first in a long time, I want more. More than just a quick fuck in some bathroom or closet. I would do anything to have her naked allowing me to explore every inch of her body and then wake up and do it all over again.
I sit up and swing my legs over my bed, sitting for a minute, trying to let my head catch up to my body. Slowly standing, I will the alcohol to get out of my body fast. I reach into my mini fridge and grab a water bottle, downing half of it in one swig. I need to push her out, but every time I think I do, she burst through my wall like an eighteen wheeler.
Thank God, it’s Friday. However, the one problem with today is that I have to see Jessa and after my embarrassment last night, I can’t bear the thought of facing her. I open the doors to our lecture hall and I’m surprised to find her sitting next to my usual seat. She glances over and my heart thumps in my chest, wondering why she’s there. After the first day, I’ve kept my distance from her. I can only imagine she’s going to tell me she’s done with this whole game we’ve been playing. I know I’d be if I had seen her in the compromising position she saw me in last night.