“They need to let it go.” She stands up, walking to the mantel above the fireplace.
“Jessa,” I sigh, getting up to join her. “You have to see…” I stop mid-sentence when my eyes land on the perfectly placed picture frames. “Who is this?” I pick up a picture of a girl with dark hair and piercing hazel eyes.
“Me,” she shyly admits. “I may have…re-invented myself when I came to Western.” She stares directly at me, as if anticipating my response.
“You look…different,” I mumble and she glares over at me.
“Better? More attractive?” she sarcastically jabs and I wish I could take back my previous statement.
“No, God no!” I shriek.
“What then Grant?” Her eyes narrow at me, and I know I’ve pissed her off.
“You look beautiful in this picture,” I tell her, holding it up in the air. “But I like you like this.” I place my hand along her cheek.
“Really?” she questions. I wish I could reassure her somehow, but she’ll have to believe it herself.
“Yes, Jessa. It’s not your hair, your tattoos, or your piercings. You have such a big heart and you love so easily. I’m envious. I didn’t fall in love with the way you look; I fell in love with this part of you.” I move my hand over her heart.
“You do?” She looks down at my hand and then back to my face. Her hopeful eyes make me realize she still doubts me.
“Jessa,” I sigh, taking her hands in mine. “Of course I love you,” I say again and she unexpectedly jumps into my arms.
“I love you, too,” she whispers in my ear and kisses my neck.
The urge to take her right here in front of the fireplace is tempting. I wish I could lay her down on this floor and trace my fingers down her body with my lips following close behind. The thought of entering her with her softly telling me she loves me as I stare into her alluring eyes is more than I can bear at the moment.
“Do you really mean it?” She tips her head back to look in my eyes. The insecurity I see leaves a pit in my stomach. I’m either doing a crappy job of showing her how much she means to me, or that jackass did a bigger number on her than I originally thought.
“Yes, Jessa. So much…it hurts,” I answer.
“It’s not supposed to hurt, Grant,” she says, placing her hands on either side of my face. “It’s supposed to make you feel whole.”
“That’s why it hurts. You do make me feel whole and unbroken, but it’s the thought of my demons breaking it apart that hurts so fucking bad.”
“Don’t think like that. It’s not going to happen with us. You’re stuck with me,” she says with a smile, displaying her perfect teeth. I can’t hold off any longer. I need to feel her lips on mine and her tongue in my mouth.
I lick her bottom lip, begging her to let me enter, and she opens up for me like always. With my hands on her ass holding her against me, I delve my tongue into her mouth and she instantly responds. Her hands move to the back of my head and I know she wants me to continue. The craving for her escalates within me and suddenly my mind is only consumed with her soft lips, her moist tongue, and her firm ass. I start trailing my lips down her jaw to her neck and she moans lightly, holding my head against curve of her neck. “Don’t ever leave me, Jessa,” I murmur.
“Never,” she responds, gripping me tighter. “I’m yours…always.” I pull her firmly against me, and she whimpers when she feels how much I want her.
“Excuse me.” Mrs. Harrison’s voice abruptly reminds me where I am and I drop Jessa automatically. Luckily, she lands on her feet before wiping her mouth and looking in her mom’s direction.
“Sorry, Mom. We got a little carried away,” she apologizes. Jessa appears unfazed that her mom just caught us making out in their living room. Casually, she walks over to her mom, while I discretely attempt to adjust myself to conceal my erection.
Mrs. Harrison remains quiet and then runs her hand over Jessa’s hair when Jessa reaches her. “You’re lucky it was me,” she smiles at her daughter. Jessa glances my way and then back to her mom and grins.
“I know.” She giggles and leans against her mom, letting her wrap her arms around her.
“It’s good to have you home. It’s been too long.” She kisses her temple.
“Thanks, Mom,” Jessa says. “It feels good to be home.”
I feel like an outsider watching them. It’s as though I’m staring through a window into a world I know nothing about. Jessa has this amazing family who loves and accepts her fully, so much that they want to protector her from me. I’m happy Jessa was raised in this environment, but I can’t help but worry I’m going to ruin everything for her. Can I give her a perfect loving family like the one she already has? Can I give her a future with the unconditional love she so deeply deserves?
“Grant?” Jessa stands in front of me and I blink, pushing the negative thoughts away.
“Sorry, what’s up?” I ask her and see her eyes filling with concern.
“Are you okay?” She puts her hand in mine and I stare down at her, wondering when this happened. I never saw her coming. She took me by surprise, like a cinder block to the head. This feeling of having something I could lose is so foreign to me. But I know I’ll never be the same whether I’m with or without her, so I might as well enjoy the happiness while it lasts.
“Nothing, baby,” I tell her, bending down and kissing her lips.
Her skeptical eyes stare intently at mine for a few seconds before she smiles up to me.
“Everyone’s waiting, let’s go,” she says, guiding me out of the room.
“Where?” I question.
“Dinner. Didn’t you hear my mom?” She looks up at me again. I must’ve been really deep in thought.
Everyone is seated around the long, rectangular table, including Jessa’s sister, Samantha. Now that I’ve seen the younger version of Jessa in the picture on the mantle, I can easily recognize their similarities.
“Hi, Grant!” she exclaims, standing up to greet me.
“Hi, Samantha,” I respond as her arms wrap around me, bringing me into a tight hug.
“It’s Sam, Grant. Don’t be so proper. You’re practically family now,” she says loudly, and I don’t miss the frown on her Dad’s face.
“It’s good to see you. Are you on spring break, too?” I ask her, ignoring her previous remarks.
“I just had mine, so I’ll head back to Boulder on Sunday. It’s not far though; you guys should come down next week,” she mentions while walking back to her seat.
Jessa indicates for me to sit, but I scoot her chair out for her before getting into mine.
“Totally!” Dex shouts. “I heard your campus is like a crazy party place,” he says to her and she giggles.
“Relax there, buddy,” she says. “I think it’s pretty typical to other schools. What do you think, Jess? Do you want to come down?” Sam asks her tentatively.
“I don’t know, Sam. I’ll think about it.” Jessa looks down at her lap and I place my hand in hers, squeezing until she looks to me. I give her a reassuring smile and she gives me a small one back.
Since Trey and Dex were at their respective homes when Sam came for Christmas, she starts peppering the guys with questions about the band. The conversation change perks Jessa up and within minutes, she’s back to her normal self. My eyes scan the table and I see her dad leaning back in his chair, silently observing the situation. It couldn’t have been easy for a father to deal with what happened. I understand his guarded behavior toward me. Proving myself won’t be easy, but it will get us over this hurdle.
“You play drums.” Sam turns her body toward Trey with admiring eyes.
“What’s so great about a drummer? All he does is pound on a couple cylinders with two sticks. I have to actually be coordinated,” Dex spouts off and the table erupts into laughter. Obviously, Dex is still feeling a little self-conscious regarding the Kailey situation.