“I’m just saying, we need to start deciding what we’re going to do after graduation.” The pained expression that forms across her face punches me in the gut.
“Where does that leave us, Grant?” I see the questions overflowing in her head and I wish I could make it better for her. I wish I had all the answers to this, but I don’t.
“I don’t know. Depending on what happens, we might have to do a long-distance thing.” It’s the only solution I can come up with if we’re forced to live apart.
“You would just leave me? Am I that replaceable?”
“You’re not even close to replaceable. I don’t want to replace you. What the hell, Jessa? Why would you say that?” I start rambling, desperate for her to understand that’s not even close to the issue.
“Okay…” she trails off, staring at the people who walk by. Her mood shifts again.
“Jessa,” I sigh, but she doesn’t turn her head toward mine. “Look at me,” I plead, and when her head finally turns my way, I see that there are tears pooling in her eyes. I close mine in response, pissed off at myself for upsetting her tonight. She nibbles on the inside of her cheek, and I feel like a complete asshole. “I’m not saying…”
“You are though. Am I just fun for now…until you graduate? Were you just looking for a good fuck buddy, Grant? Is that it?” Her eyes shifted from sad to angry in less than a second. I can’t keep up with her moods. In the whole time we’ve known each other, I’ve never seen her like this.
“No!” I screech, my voice changing octaves. I can’t believe that these thoughts would even cross her mind. “I love you, Jessa. I’m just saying we need to figure this out,” I tell her again. I try to grab her hand across the table, but she pulls it back into her lap. How on Earth did I fuck this up so bad? “Jessa, listen to me,” I beg her, but she’s gone, somewhere I can’t reach. Although she’s right across the table from me, it’s just a shell of the woman I love. She’s silent, and her erratic breathing has her chest rapidly rising and falling.
I attempt to talk to her, but she quietly sits there, sipping her wine and ignoring my existence. She’s polite and courteous to the waiter, but as soon as he leaves, she becomes closed off again. I feel like I stabbed myself in the heart because I caused this.
Jessa
He’s hurting as much as I am right now. His eyes are troubled and I know his mind is running in circles trying to figure out how he messed up our first real dinner date. As much as I want to console him, I can’t stop these feelings of abandonment. When he brought up living apart, I felt as though he didn’t want me to go with him. I jumped to conclusions and now I’m just as responsible for ruining our first date as he is. Being back in Colorado has brought my insecurities to the forefront, and I need to remember that Grant loves me. He’s just worried about his future and I shouldn’t fault him for that.
I lift the wine glass and slowly take a sip, letting my eyes absorb him. As much as I want to be angry, I have to start understanding where he’s coming from. His upbringing was nothing like mine. If I’m going to be with him, I have to understand his need to plan for the future. Even though we’re opposites in the way we approach many things, we need to meet in the middle on this.
“Alright, Grant, I’m sorry,” I say, placing my glass down. His head jerks up, astonished. He starts to speak, but I quickly place my finger in the air. “Listen to me, first,” I tell him, and he shuts his mouth. “You have to stop this. I know you are freaking out about a job and a place to live. I promise when we get back, we’ll figure it all out. I do have to warn you, I’m not up for a long-distance relationship.” He tries to interrupt me, but I put my finger up again. “I’m not saying we’ll break up. Tonight we’re going to enjoy ourselves, and if you want to talk about this the night we get back to Western, fine. But right now, we’re not going to worry about it,” I finish, and a smiles consumes his lips. With a small nod, he catches the waiter’s attention, requesting the bill.
I ask him where we’re going, and he tells me it’s a surprise. I have a feeling I’m about to lose the bet. Grant signs the credit card slip and stands up, requesting my hand. This is one great thing about Grant; he appears as though nothing just happened. Even though it’s still rolling around in that brain of his, he’s willing to put it aside for me…at least for tonight.
The cold wind hits our faces as soon as we step outside. Grant puts his arm around my waist and pulls me into him. “I love you,” he says softly, kissing me on my forehead, and then my nose, and lastly, a short kiss on my lips.
“I love you too,” I tell him in return, anxiously waiting for more kisses. Instead, he grabs my hand and leads me down the street. “Where are we going?” I impatiently ask.
“Just wait.” He continues walking us through the downtown area. Anticipation fills me that he’ll take me in every alley we pass, but then quickly turns to disappointment as we pass them all by. Although our disagreement was minor, I can’t help but want to feel him inside of me, to feel secure in the knowledge that he’s mine. We approach the end of the street and I’m baffled as to where he’s taking me. He finally stops and we stare up at a burgundy awning reading, The Park Hotel. It’s the nicest and swankiest hotel in Breckenridge.
He walks us in and over to the elevator, completely bypassing the front desk. It surprises me that no one greets us or asks questions. When the elevator doors slide closed, his lips find mine as he pushes me against the wall. “I’m well aware I might lose the bet, but I wasn’t going to take you against some brick wall or in some bathroom stall on the night of our first date,” he declares, leaving me breathless from his impromptu kiss.
The elevator stops on the top floor and he pulls us toward the stairwell leading to the roof. He opens the door and lets me go first. Once I walk through the doorway, I gasp and place my hand over my mouth. The entire rooftop is dark, the only light provided by the moon and stars shining in the sky. A pathway lit by votive candles leads to a small cabana. I follow the path with Grant’s hand in mine. Heat lamps rest inside the cabana on either side of a lounge couch, and there are rose petals strewn over the massive amount of blankets. As I stand in awe at the entrance to our own little slice of heaven, Grant comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.
“Do you like it?” he whispers and I nod my head, willing the tears not to fall. In all my life, no one has ever done anything so romantic for me. I didn’t think he could top our weekend at his cabin, but he did, tenfold.
He starts to kiss the back of my neck, while his fingers find my zipper. Slowly unzipping it, he whispers in my ear, “You don’t have to worry. No one will bother us. It’s ours for as long as we want it.” I tip my head forward, relishing his lips, and he moves them to my shoulder. He places his hands on my dress straps, gently relieving me of it. I step out of my dress once it hits the floor, leaving me in my bra, underwear, stockings, and heels. “So beautiful one minute…so fucking hot the next.” He turns me around to position me on the lounger
His hands grip one of my high heels and peel it off my foot before he does the same with the other. He starts to kiss my leg, moving his lips up until he reaches the top of my thigh highs. Hooking his fingers under the first, he rolls it off my leg, past my foot, and disposes of it on the floor. Moving to my other leg, he mimics the same movement.
Growing impatient to get him naked, I start unbuttoning his pants, but he places his hand over mine. “Let me finish undressing you first.” He gently pushes me away and then spreads my legs. Teasing me, he massages my clit through my already wet satin thong as his mouth finds my nipple through my sheer red bra. “My favorite bra,” he says, and moving his fingers between my breasts, he pops the snap. He slowly glides the bra off my breasts, displaying my nipples, one of which is already wet from his mouth.