Her veins chilled like ice water had been injected into them. A lump formed in her throat, and she crossed her arms over her chest in protection.
"I don't think anyone heard. That's why I've been chucking socks at you in your sleep," he explained bashfully.
"Seriously?" She squinted. "I thought you were being a jackass."
"I was being nice," he defended haughtily then smirked. "The first time."
Emma shook her head and walked further into the room, crossing the length to reach her bunk and slump down hard.
"Hey," he said following her to the opposed cot. "It's okay."
But it wasn't. She'd get dishonourably discharged, and a note like that would make her a pariah for the rest of her life. What awful thing did Corporal Swan do to get kicked out of the army? Love a woman. Oh. She swallowed hard.
"Emma," Neal said gently and ducked his head to meet Emma's gaze. "When I said you can trust me three years ago, I meant it. I'm not going to tell anyone. Just letting you know so that you can be more careful. Not everyone is as great as I am."
She wanted to roll her eyes, but she knew it was true. She knew personally of a few homophobic officers on base and even in her division. Sometimes they wouldn't discharge you; sometimes they'd let you fend for yourself as an outed soldier.
"When did you know?" Emma asked quietly, refusing to make eye contact.
He shrugged. "Just took a wild guess."
"What?" She asked incredulously.
"I had a feeling."
"One day, your feeling's gonna get you killed."
He shrugged again. "You just look crazy happy every time you get a letter or make a call," he explained. "In case you're wondering, you have enough pictures of dudes on your wall to cover it up."
She bit her lip in worry. On one hand, it felt nice to have an ally, someone she knew she could count on to talk to about anything. On the other hand, she was paranoid everyone knew. She never took Neal to be extremely perceptive, so if he knew who else did?
"Hey," he called again, this time nudging her with his boot. "If you ever need to call again, you're welcome to use my phone."
Her lips parted in shock at the sudden generosity of the man. "Neal, that's– I can't."
"I'm in a good mood, Swan, so take the offer before it leaves the table," he said with a smug grin.
She scoffed lightly and shook her head incredulously then nodded. "Okay," she conceded. "Okay. Thank you."
"You're welcome." He leaned back on the bed, his hands behind his head as he continued to grin. "Now that that's out of the way, aren't you gonna ask me why I'm in such a good mood?"
Leave it to Neal to downplay her coming out secret and overshadow it with news of his own. Still, she appreciated the man even more after these past ten minutes she almost wished she had been a bit more accommodating in the friendship department sooner. "Why are you in such a good mood?" She finally asked.
Somehow his grin grew wider. "I'm gonna be a father."
"What?"
"Yeah," he laughed sitting up to face Emma again. "Tamara's a little over three months." He dug through his pocket again to pull out a small rectangular picture. An ultrasound. "She sent that to me today, and I called her right after."
"Oh my god, Neal, congratulations!" Emma was never really a hugger, but he was her friend, that much he had proven, so she leaned over and wrapped her arms around the man briefly in support. "God, you a dad."
"I know," he nodded. "Christ, I hope I don't mess it up."
She smiled fondly at him. "You'll be a great dad."
"Swan. Cassidy." Officer Watson opened the door and called for them. They stood immediately and faced him, awaiting orders. "Meeting room. Now."
They didn't wait to march out of the room and follow him into the meeting room where the rest of their unit was waiting, standing at attention and facing a Commanding Officer who stood in front of a map. As soon as she walked in, Emma knew. She was going back.
Chapter 12
Chapter Summary
Disclaimer in Chapter One.
AN: Opinions stated by particular characters throughout the chapter are not reflective of my own views. There's quite a bit of military in this chapter so any inaccuracies or mistakes are entirely my fault.
TW: warfare
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
September 30, 2004 – Baghdad, Iraq – Camp Victory
It felt hotter than Emma remembered. The air was dry and so humid she felt like she was suffocating. Her gear wasn't helping her in the slightest, heavy and constricting, weighing her down, but she was at least used to the familiar weight. This heat took some getting used to, and all it served to do was remind Emma what it was like the last time she had been here.
The twenty-four hour flight in the jet was simultaneously the shortest and longest trip of her life. The first time she had flown to Iraq for service, there had been nervousness, yes, anxiety even. But as uncertain as she had been, there was a hint of what one might call excitement. She was finally doing what she had been training for. She was going to represent her country, her people. She was going to be one of those soldiers all those songs sang about, be a hero.
But not now. Now she wanted nothing more than to be anywhere but here. They could have sent her anywhere in the world, but apparently her expertise was what got her picked. If she was anyone else – Emma the traveller, Emma the criminal on the run even – anyone but Corporal Swan reporting for duty – she would have loved to visit Baghdad. The people, the culture-shock, the landscape. It was beautiful when she was able to go into the city and visit the markets. Of course, some people were wary of her especially since she was perpetually in her uniform and carried an automatic rifle, but they were good people. She'd feel the same if she had people in uniform marching down her streets acting like she was a convicted criminal. But most times, they made it work with the locals.
A lot of the times a few troops would give little toys and knick-knacks to the children there, and she swore she felt like Santa and could understand why the fabled old man continued to keep giving. Their smiles were contagious as they showed them how they kicked around a soccer ball with their friends. Sometimes Emma would even help rebuild school houses and buildings that fell under attack. Alongside the civilians, American and Iraqi would unite to progress toward the better as each brick of the foundation was laid upon the ground.
That part, that part of the job Emma loved. But the part she was more familiar with, the part that sometimes kept her up at night when she refused to close her eyes, the reason why she was here in the first place since it was expertise, that she could do without.
Recon had tracked areas where rebellion groups were located, and Emma was one of the lucky five thousand men picked to go find them and capture them. Her unit nodded obediently when they heard the news over a week ago back in Georgia, and like the other men and women as they filed out of the meeting room, faces impassive and staring straight ahead with the conflict in their heads rattling around with how they were going to tell their loved ones that they were off again, Emma felt her stomach drop and all she could think of was that heading back to Storybrooke would be happening later rather than sooner.
Neal was the most distraught Emma had ever seen the usually good-natured man. He had hidden away in a corner of their room speaking solemnly to Tamara on his phone.
He most likely wouldn't be there to see the birth of his kid.
He spent the night staring longingly at the ultrasound before stealing a couple pages of Emma's stationary and started to pen a letter to his unborn child. "The kid'll still hear from me, right?" He reasoned as he wrote.