Tell me. Please tell me what to do, who to choose. I’m at a loss. I don’t trust my own compass or judgment, especially since it’s telling me that I want them both. That can’t be right. Something in me must be broken, off. I know this shouldn’t be so hard, but every time I imagine leaving one of them for the other, I become paralyzed.
And it’s not about hurting them, although I know I would hurt one if I chose the other. It’s about me. I feel as if I’m connected to both of them in a very deep, profound way, and I’m not sure I am even capable of making such a difficult choice.
But I trust you both. I love you. And I know you want what’s best for me. So I’m asking you, as your former lover and best friend, please, just tell me what to do. Whatever it is, I promise you, I swear to Nico’s God and everything that is sacred in the world, that I will do it.
Just please, tell me which one to choose.
The doctor poked and prodded and confirmed that I had indeed developed an infection. The antibiotics were working, however-my fever was gone and I felt lighter already. There was no pain, and I’d inspected the incision sites. They’d done the surgery laproscopically, just four small cuts in my abdomen that were healing nicely. I’d have some scars on my belly to go with the stretch marks from Isabella, but considering that they’d saved my uterus, somehow I didn’t mind so much.
The boys were in the lobby-I’d refused to let them follow me in, much to their chagrin. I took the opportunity to ask the doctor, “So about sex…?”
He raised his eyebrows and smiled. “Any time you’re feeling up to it.”
“Really?” I wasn’t sure if I was hoping for a yes or a no, but leaving it up to me? That wasn’t fair. I had enough choices to make, didn’t I?
He assured me that it was perfectly safe, although I was glad Mason and Nico didn’t hear him say so. He told me to continue to take it easy. I’d been anemic when I was admitted to the hospital, and although they were supplementing my iron and had given me a transfusion, he was concerned about fainting spells.
“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” I assured him, going out to find Nico and Mason talking in the lobby. They were laughing and the sight of something other than a scowl on either of their faces when they were together shocked me.
“Ready to go?” Nico looked up as I approached. I nodded, and Mason stood, taking my hand.
“I need a shower.” Being submerged in ice was my last experience with bathing, and the memory wasn’t a good one. I’d pretty much just slept in Mason’s bed since, tucked between the two of them, trying to recover from my fever.
“We can do that,” Nico piped up, taking my other hand.
I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure I can shower by myself.”
“Actually, I’d like someone to supervise for a few days.” The sound of the doctor’s voice through the little lobby window startled me. He was handing a chart over to a nurse and had clearly overheard our conversation. He directed his words to Mason and Nico. “She may be unsteady on her feet for a while. Just keep an eye out.”
Mason saluted. “Will do, Doc!”
The doctor saluted him back and Nico laughed. We took a water-bus back to their place, although I protested.
“I want my own bed, my own shower,” I complained. “And Cara Lucia-”
“We’ve already told Cara Lucia all about it,” Mason assured me.
“And I brought your books and I contacted your professors,” Nico added.
I blinked at them. “Did you bring me underwear too?”
“Actually…” Nico and Mason looked at each other. “We did.”
“Then I guess you’ve thought of everything.” I grimaced, crossing my arms over my chest and watching the rain fall. I was glad we had the cover over us. It was really coming down. According to Nico, the weather had been beautiful while I was in the hospital, unseasonably warm, almost like summer, but spring had returned with a vengeance.
Mason and Nico talked over my head-something about a football game, which really meant soccer. I was surprised Mason was interested, given his usual disdain for most sports, but from the gist of the conversation, they’d apparently watched an exciting game together while I was in surgery, and now Mason was hooked.
“I’m going to have to go back to my flat eventually,” I argued as we got off the bus.
It was only a few blocks to their place, but by the time we reached it, I was really starting to feel tired. Maybe I had overdone it a little bit on my first venture out.
“You put her to bed,” Nico said to Mason as soon as we got up the stairs. “I’ll make her some lunch.”
“But I need a shower!” I protested, nearly tripping over Jezebel, who wound herself around my feet and mewed plaintively.
“Okay, shower first.” Mason nudged Jezebel out of the way but they all followed me to the bathroom. I stood in the doorway while Nico started the water and Mason got a towel out of the closet.
“Thanks, you guys.” I waved them out. “I can handle it from here.”
They exchanged looks, some sort of communication passing between them.
“I don’t think so.” Mason shut the door, leaning against it and looking at me. It locked behind him.
“Remember what the doctor said?” Nico reminded me.
Mason had my shirt peeled off before I knew what was happening. Nico worked the button and zipper on my jeans, wedging them down my hips. I protested, but then my bra and panties were gone too, and they were putting me in the shower.
“I really don’t need two babysitters.” I sighed, reaching for the soap. I could smell myself, rank and strong. How could they even stand to be in the same room with me?
“Are you doing all right?” Nico called.
I rolled my eyes, turning around and tilting my head back so the water could wet my hair. That’s when I nearly passed out. The whole bathtub moved, or at least I felt like it did, and I stumbled, my palms slipping on the slick tile, trying to hold onto something to keep from falling. I think I cried out, I’m not sure, but Mason was in the shower with me in an instant, still in jeans and a t-shirt, holding me up.
“What happened?” I whispered, clinging to him.
“You lost a lot of blood,” Nico reminded me. Not to be outdone, he’d stepped into the shower to rescue me too, still in his clothes as well.
I looked between them and laughed. “This is ridiculous.”
“You’re right.” Mason grinned, pulling off his t-shirt and tossing it outside the curtain. Nico followed suit, and before I knew it, they both had their jeans and boxers off too, and we were all standing there naked in the shower together.
“You two are crazy.” I shook my head, still laughing, but I was overwhelmed with gratitude when they both grabbed a washcloth and some soap and started washing-not themselves, but me.
“I still feel really weak,” I admitted. It was strange to have them touching me like this, together, but familiar too.
“Let us do all the work.” Nico soaped my hair and Mason helped him rinse it, both men massaging my scalp, making me tingle.
Then they turned their attention to my body, Nico’s big hands moving down over my back and shoulders. I giggled when he made me lift my arms so he could scrub under them from behind.
“It’s a hard job, but somebody’s got to do it.” Mason grinned, giving up the washcloth and using his hands to soap my breasts and belly. “Sorry, buddy,” he said to Nico, looking at him over my shoulder. “I got all the fun parts.” Mason’s hand moved down between my legs, soaping me there, too. I gasped.
“Not all of them.” Nico was close behind me and I felt his hand slip down the crack of my ass.
“You’re bad,” I whispered, biting my lip when Nico’s soapy fingers probed gently at my asshole, Mason still cupping my mound. “Oh god.”
“Let us take care of everything,” Mason murmured, his fingers slippery against my pussy. I buried my face in his shoulder, my arms around his neck, the warm water falling all around us, creating a cloud of steam. I felt even weaker in the shower than I had on our outing and I let them both hold me up, pressed between their flesh.