“If I had another choice I’d take it.”
So she would lose him again, and she would be alone. The thought made her miserable. That was surprising. She had only spent one night with him. What had she expected? She was not sure. More, anyway, than this abrupt parting. “I didn’t think I’d lose you again so soon,” she said. She moved Chantal to the other breast.
He knelt in front of her and took her hand. “You haven’t thought this situation through,” he said. “Think about Jean-Pierre. Don’t you know he wants you back?”
Jane considered that. Ellis was right, she realized. Jean-Pierre would now be feeling humiliated and emasculated: the only thing that would heal his wounds would be to have her back, in his bed and in his power. “But what would he do with me?” she said.
“He will want you and Chantal to live out the rest of your lives in some mining town in Siberia, while he spies in Europe and visits you every two or three years for a holiday between assignments.”
“What could he do if I were to refuse?”
“He could make you. Or he could kill you.”
Jane remembered Jean-Pierre punching her. She felt nauseous. “Will the Russians help him to find me?” she said.
“Yes.”
“But why? Why should they care about me?”
“First because they owe him. Second because they figure you will keep him happy. Third because you know too much. You know Jean-Pierre intimately and you’ve seen Anatoly: you could provide good descriptions of both of them for the CIA’s computer, if you were able to get back to Europe.”
So there would be more bloodshed, Jane thought; the Russians would raid villages, interrogate people, and beat and torture them to find out where she was. “That Russian officer . . . Anatoly, his name is. He saw Chantal.” Jane hugged her baby tighter for a moment as she remembered those dreadful seconds. “I thought he was going to pick her up. Didn’t he realize that, if he had taken her, I would have given myself up just to be with her?”
Ellis nodded. “That puzzled me at the time. But I’m more important to them than you are; and I think he decided that, while he wants eventually to capture you, in the meantime he has another use for you.”
“What use? What could they want me to do?”
“Slow me down.”
“By making you stay here?”
“No, by coming with me.”
As soon as he said it she realized he was right, and a sense of doom settled over her like a shroud. She had to go with him, she and her baby; there was no alternative. If we die, we die, she thought fatalistically. So be it. “I suppose I have a better chance of escaping from here with you than of escaping from Siberia alone,” she said.
Ellis nodded. “That’s about it.”
“I’ll start packing,” said Jane. There was no time to lose. “We’d better leave first thing tomorrow morning.”
Ellis shook his head. “I want to be out of here in an hour.”
Jane panicked. She had been planning to leave, of course, but not so suddenly; and now she felt she did not have time to think. She began to rush around the little house, throwing clothes and food and medical supplies indiscriminately into an assortment of bags, terrified that she would forget something crucial but too rushed to pack sensibly.
Ellis understood her mood and stopped her. He held her shoulders, kissed her forehead and spoke calmly to her. “Tell me something,” he said. “Do you happen to know what the highest mountain in Britain is?”
She wondered if he was crazy. “Ben Nevis,” she said. “It’s in Scotland.”
“How high is it?”
“Over four thousand feet.”
“Some of the passes we’re going to climb are sixteen and seventeen thousand feet high—that’s four times as high as the highest mountain in Britain. Although the distance is only a hundred and fifty miles, it’s going to take us at least two weeks. So stop; think; and plan. If you take a little more than an hour to pack, too bad—it’s better than going without the antibiotics.”
She nodded, took a deep breath and started again.
She had two saddlebags that could double as backpacks. Into one she put clothes: Chantal’s diapers, a change of underwear for all of them, Ellis’s quilted down coat from New York, and the fur-lined raincoat, complete with hood, that she had brought from Paris. She used the other bag for medical supplies and food—iron rations for emergencies. There was no Kendal Mint Cake, of course, but Jane had found a local substitute, a cake made of dried mulberries and walnuts, almost indigestible but packed with concentrated energy. They also had a lot of rice and a lump of hard cheese. The only souvenir Jane took was her collection of Polaroid photographs of the villagers. They also took their sleeping bags, a saucepan and Ellis’s military kit bag, which contained some explosives and blasting equipment—their only weapon. Ellis lashed all the baggage to Maggie, the unidirectional mare.
Their hurried leave-taking was tearful. Jane was embraced by Zahara, old Rabia the midwife, and even Halima, Mohammed’s wife. A sour note was introduced by Abdullah, who passed by just before they left and spat on the ground, hurrying his family along; but a few seconds later his wife came back, looking frightened but determined, and pressed into Jane’s hand a present for Chantal, a primitive rag doll with a miniature shawl and veil.
Jane hugged and kissed Fara, who was inconsolable. The girl was thirteen: soon she would have a husband to adore. In a year or two she would marry and move into the home of her husband’s parents. She would have eight or ten children, perhaps half of whom would live past the age of five. Her daughters would marry and leave home. Those of her sons who survived the fighting would get married and bring their wives home. Eventually, when the family grew too large, the sons and the daughters-in-law and the grandchildren would begin to move out to start new extended families of their own. Then Fara would become a midwife, like her grandmother Rabia. I hope, Jane thought, that she’ll remember a few of the lessons I taught her.
Ellis was embraced by Alishan and Shahazai, and then they left, to cries of “God go with you!” The village children accompanied them to the bend in the river. Jane paused there and looked back for a moment at the little huddle of mud-colored houses that had been her home for a year. She knew she would never come back; but she had a feeling that, if she survived, she would be telling stories of Banda to her grandchildren.
They walked briskly along the riverbank. Jane found herself straining her ears for the sound of helicopters. How soon would the Russians start looking for them? Would they send a few helicopters to hunt more or less at random, or would they take the time to organize a really thorough search? Jane did not know which to hope for.
It took them less than an hour to reach Dasht-i-Rewat, “The Plain with a Fort,” a pleasant village where the cottages with their shaded courtyards were dotted along the northern bank of the river. Here it was that the cart track—the pitted, snaking, now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t dirt path that passed for a road in the Five Lions Valley—came to an end. Any wheeled vehicles robust enough to survive the road had to stop here, so the village did a little business horse trading. The fort mentioned in the name was up a side valley, and was now a prison, run by the guerrillas, housing a few captured government troops, a Russian or two, and the occasional thief. Jane had visited it once, to treat a miserable nomad from the western desert who had been conscripted into the regular army, had contracted pneumonia in the cold Kabul winter, and had deserted. He was being “reeducated” before being allowed to join the guerrillas.
It was midday, but neither of them wanted to stop and eat. They hoped to reach Saniz, ten miles away at the head of the Valley, by nightfall; and although ten miles was no great distance on level ground, in this landscape it could take many hours.