Without another word, he pulls away, heading straight out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. If he’s jealous, it doesn’t have the effect that Dana said it would.
He didn’t ask me to stay.
He didn’t beg me not to go.
I thought what we have might mean something more to him, like it does for me.
I think every girl hopes she’ll get her chance to tame a bad boy, to bring a soulless creature out of the darkness, but Blake isn’t my salvation. There’s not a part of him that’s mine . . . there never was.
I sink back down into my chair and cross my arms on the table. I stare . . . forever, thinking about what I should do next, what this means.
Butterflies multiply in my stomach as the hours tick by. Time brings me closer to Pierce and further from Blake.
He’s been gone a couple hours . . . since we had our argument this morning. What if he disappears again? And when he comes back, will we go back to being enemies under the same roof?
I don’t want that. I just want to be us. Kisses. Painting. Lemon drops.
I think about him constantly. The fact that this might all be over before it even really started is hard to swallow. I can’t live with what could have been; I’d promised myself I would stop doing that the minute I stepped on the plane. He’s just so hard to let go.
I’m lost in my wakeful nightmare when a knock sounds at my door.
When I’d told Dana about the invite, she’d offered to come over and help me with my hair and make-up. There was no way I was going to decline because getting all that done in Chicago would have cost a small fortune. And there was no way in hell I was going to use Pierce’s credit card.
I fake a smile and open the door. “Hey.” My eyes immediately focus on the small suitcase she lugs with her. “Did you bring the whole bathroom?”
“Almost,” she replies, rolling it in front of her. “Take this. I’m going to grab the dress from my car.”
I grab the handle from between her fingers and watch as she retreats down the narrow hallway. “Need any help?”
“Got it!” she yells back.
The suitcase must weigh at least twenty pounds, which scares the hell out of me. What could she possibly put on me that weighs this much? Twelve pairs of shoes? Eight curling irons? Four cases of make-up?
After rolling it to my room, I go back to the door to wait for her. She mentioned this dress she has for me—something she wore to an event a couple years back. This event is a big deal . . . for my career, for my future. And if Pierce Stanley is going, it’s a big deal in general—a who’s who of the Chicago scene. I’m trying to be excited. If for nothing else, what it could do for my career.
“No wonder you stay so skinny,” Dana grumbles as she makes it up to the top of the stairs.
“I usually make it in one trip.”
“Shut it. I brought my whole vanity because I didn’t want to regret leaving anything behind. It’s not often a girl gets her chance to be a stylist.”
My eyes dart to the white garment bag she has wrapped over her forearm. She wouldn’t give me much detail on the dress, and it’s been killing me.
“Do I get to see it now?” I ask, clapping my hands together.
She stops just far enough away that I can’t reach her, or the dress. “Hair and make-up first. Then the dress.”
“Ugh, I’m sorry but I can’t be your friend anymore.”
“This isn’t the third grade, Lila,” she remarks as she walks past me into the apartment. It’s impossible to even see the color of the dress through the bag.
“Oh, come on. It better not be pink, especially hot pink, because that looks hideous against my red hair.” I close the door and follow behind her into my bedroom. I’ve already showered, shaved, and moisturized per my stylist’s instructions, but all of this is making my stomach hurt. The closer we get to seven, the harder it is to keep my nerves in check. It all weighs too heavy—talking to people I don’t know, being the girl next to Pierce, wondering where Blake is.
“If you sit still long enough for me to turn you into a glam queen, I promise to show you.”
“Let’s get this over with,” I say, leading the way to the bathroom. It’s not very big, but there is a vanity chair slid under the sink, giving her free reign on her blank canvas.
“This is going to be so fun!”
I can’t match her enthusiasm. No matter what I’m saying or what I’m trying to concentrate on, Blake’s there. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but I’ve been waiting for him to come through the door and tell me not to go. That maybe time would put things into perspective for him.
With only a few hours until Pierce picks me up, it hasn’t happened yet. I’m tired of fighting for something that doesn’t want to be fought over.
Dana sprays sections of my hair, letting it all fall over my eyes. “I’m going to curl your hair first, then we’ll do your make-up so it’s fresh.”
Closing my eyes, I attempt to fall back into better times. I try to imagine what the venue looks like. I’ve been to big weddings, but I have a feeling this will top all of them.
“Are you okay? You’re kind of quiet.” I didn’t think it would take her long to notice. I’m not the definition of a social butterfly, but I usually have something to say when it’s just the two of us.
“It’s been a rough day,” I reply simply. I want to keep what happened at the studio between Blake and me. I definitely can’t explain what happened between us at breakfast without letting her in on my growing feelings for him.
“Where’s Blake?” She can’t be that perceptive.
“He left earlier.”
“Oh,” she says, “I take it the plan to make him jealous didn’t really work?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Sorry.” She picks up yet another section, wrapping it around the iron. “Maybe, you’re just not meant to be.”
Maybe we’re not.
WHEN PREPARATIONS ARE DONE, I spin in front of the full-length mirror. The long, dark green dress Dana loaned me contrasts beautifully with my red locks. The form-fitting skirt and open back give it a sexy touch—not too much but just enough.
“Do you feel okay?” Dana asks¸ smoothing the edges of the sleeveless top.
“I’m just nervous. It feels like prom all over again, but even then, I was with someone I knew. What am I supposed to talk about all night?”
She pulls some of my curled locks over my shoulder. “He’s successful in the design industry. Maybe you can talk about that. Have him give you some tips for your career.”
“I’m sure he didn’t invite me with him just to talk about work.” I pause, deciding just how much I should tell her about Pierce Stanley. If I let her stay until he arrives, he won’t need any explaining. “Most women find him charming. If I don’t keep him occupied, someone else will.”
“Does it matter?” she asks, taking one last look at me.
I shrug. “I honestly don’t know what matters anymore.”
“Are you going to tell me what happened with Blake?”
I shake my head. If I don’t say it out loud, maybe it will just go away like it never even happened at all. I want to think he’ll be here waiting when I get home tonight. He’ll be leaning against the counter, just like always. He’ll take me to his bed, making sure he’s all I think about. He won’t hold me afterward . . . he never does, but I’ll leave knowing it will happen again.
I want the certainty that’s missing right now.
“It’s almost seven so I should probably get out of here before your date arrives.” Through the mirror, I see her wince. “I mean, boss. Are you all set? Need more lipstick?”
“I think I’m good on the lipstick.” I wasn’t sure about the red at first; I thought I’d look like a glorified human Christmas tree with my green dress and red hair, but it pulls it all together.
She brings me in for a hug, careful not to flatten my curled hair. “If you need anything, just call. I have to work, but that doesn’t mean I won’t bail you out if you need it.”