O-Nobu didn’t want to show O-Hide any evidence that she was suspicious of Tsuda. The trouble was, pretending to know nothing while she watched O-Hide make a fool of her was even more disagreeable. O-Hide would require skillful handling. She believed that making her way to her objective would prove to be a travail. She didn’t realize that her efforts were misbegotten and doomed to fail. She took yet another tack.
[128]
WITH A deep breath, she jumped with both feet. She was determined to cast off the restraints imposed by the circumstances and confront O-Hide head on. But this required her to speak abstractly. Even so, she thought, perhaps the stimulus of a debate might uncover at least a shadowy reflection of the truth.
“Do you suppose a man can love more than one woman at the same time?”
It was O-Nobu’s intention to use this question as a starting point, but at that moment O-Hide had nothing to offer in response. The knowledge she had gleaned from books and magazines was related to conventional romance only and was of no use in this case. With nothing in reserve, she feigned deliberation. Then she replied honestly.
“I really couldn’t say.”
O-Nobu felt disheartened. Doesn’t this woman have a husband named Hori to use in her research? Doesn’t she observe her husband’s attitude toward women at his side day and night? Even as she formed the thought, the next words issued from O-Hide.
“How could I understand? I’m a woman, after all!”
Was this woman an imbecile? O-Nobu wondered. If this reflected O-Hide as she truly was, her dullness was to be pitied. O-Nobu hastened to turn the foolish remark to her own use.
“Then how about from the woman’s point of view? Can we imagine that our husbands could be in love with someone other than ourselves?”
“Can’t you imagine that?”
O-Nobu heard the question with alarm.
“Am I in a position now where that’s something I need to imagine?”
“You’ll be fine,” O-Hide returned at once.
O-Nobu instantly repeated the words.
“I’ll be fine—”
It was unclear from her emphasis — even O-Nobu wasn’t sure why — whether she was asking a question or exclaiming.
“You’ll be just fine!”
O-Hide also repeated the phrase a second time. In that instant O-Nobu glimpsed a shadow of ridicule in the corners of her companion’s mouth. But it vanished at once.
“You’re the one who’s obviously fine! Given the circumstances when you married Hori-san.”
“What about you? Wasn’t Tsuda head over heels about you?”
“Goodness no! That’s how it was with you.”
O-Hide was suddenly unresponsive. O-Nobu abandoned the effort of futile digging in a vein where no gold was to be found.
“I wonder what Tsuda’s thoughts about women are?”
“His wife would know that better than his little sister.”
Even as she was rebuffed, O-Nobu realized she had framed a question as dumb as O-Hide’s.
“But as his sister, you must understand him better than I do.”
“I suppose I do, but my understanding won’t be of any use to you.”
“Of course it will — besides, if that’s what we’re talking about, I’ve known about it for quite a while.”
It was a dangerous trap, but O-Hide, being O-Hide, couldn’t resist the bait.
“Even so, you’ll be fine. In your case, it will certainly be fine.”
“Maybe so, but it’s dangerous. Unless you’ll kindly tell me all about it.”
“Gracious sakes! I don’t know anything.”
O-Hide abruptly colored. Even in her heightened state, O-Nobu couldn’t surmise the source of her embarrassment. But she had retained her memory of the same display earlier in her visit. Gifted as she was at discriminating similarities and differences, she was unable to identify the connection between the faint blush her mention of Madam Yoshikawa had produced earlier and the red face confronting her now. She wanted urgently to establish a connection, however farfetched. But no matter where she searched, the cord that would bind them eluded her. What troubled her most was her conjecture that a connection must exist between these two moments, each beyond her power to manage. And a premonition that this connection was bound to be of momentous importance to her now. It was only natural that she should feel impelled to probe more deeply.
[129]
RULED BY a momentary impulse, O-Nobu was unable to suppress the lie that escaped her lips.
“I’ve heard about it from Yoshikawa-san’s wife as well.”
As she spoke, O-Nobu became aware of her own boldness. Her only choice, halting there, was to observe the result of her daring. As she watched, the embarrassment that had reddened O-Hide’s face was replaced by a strikingly different look of puzzlement.
“Goodness! All about what?”
“About that!”
“What do you mean by that?”
O-Nobu had nowhere to go. O-Hide had room to advance.
“I think you’re fibbing.”
“I’m not. About Tsuda.”
O-Hide didn’t respond. But a hint of ridicule played about her pert mouth. It was displayed less guardedly than the last time, and O-Nobu, observing this, felt that she had stumbled off the road and stepped into a muddy field. If she hadn’t been so incorrigibly a sore loser, she might well have bowed her head to O-Hide and asked for her help. O-Hide spoke.
“It’s so odd. What reason can Mrs. Yoshikawa have had to talk about Tsuda?”
“Hideko-san, it’s the truth.”
O-Hide laughed aloud for the first time.
“I’m sure it is — I don’t want you to think I’m doubting you — but whatever are we talking about? Truly.”
“About Tsuda.”
“But what about him? What about my brother?”
“I can’t say. You have to tell me.”
“But that’s so unreasonable. Tell you what, I haven’t the foggiest.”
O-Hide appeared to stand her ground calmly, ready for anything. O-Nobu’s underarms began to sweat. Abruptly she launched out.
“Hideko-san, you’re a Christian, aren’t you?”
O-Hide appeared surprised.
“Certainly not.”
“I don’t think you could have said the things you said yesterday otherwise.”
The state of affairs had turned, reversing their positions from the day before. It was now O-Hide who appeared to be in command with room to maneuver.
“I couldn’t have? Fine, have it your way. I assume you hate Christianity?”
“On the contrary. That’s why I’m appealing to you. Because I want you to take pity on me. In the same noble spirit as yesterday. If I behaved badly, look! I bow to you in apology.”
O-Nobu placed both hands on the tatami in front of O-Hide, the jewel in her ring sparkling on her finger, and, true to her word, bowed her head deeply.
“Please, Hideko-san, please be honest with me. Please tell me everything. You see me opening myself to you. You see my deep regret.”
As she arched her eyebrows in the customary gesture, tears spilled from her small eyes onto her lap.
“Tsuda is my husband. And you’re his sister. Just as he’s important to you, he’s important to me. So for Tsuda’s sake, for Tsuda’s sake, please tell me everything. Tsuda loves me. Just as he loves you as a sister, he loves me as his wife. So as someone loved by him I have to know everything for his sake. And since he loves you, too, I know you’ll tell me everything for his sake. Won’t you? That’s an act of kindness by you as his sister. Even if you don’t feel any kindness toward me at this point, I won’t resent you for it one little bit. But I know there’s still kindness in you toward your brother. I can see in your face that you’re filled with kindness toward him. I know you’re not a cold, indifferent person. Yesterday you said yourself that you’re a kind person, and I’m certain it’s true.”