Oh fuck. This is bad. A thick ball of regret squeezing off his air supply, he crossed to the bed. His fingers shaking so much it looked like he was suffering an epileptic seizure, he stroked the top of her head. Dana’s hands plunked to her lap and she blinked up at him.
Settling her undergarments next to her on the bed, he cupped her cheek. He peered into her red-rimmed eyes, trying to determine if the emotion he saw flickering in their depths might be fear. A knife twisted in his heart. “I’m sorry. I should have kept the dragon caged.”
“Why?”
It was his turn to blink. “Because I had no right to spring it on you. It was too much, too soon.”
Dana dropped her scrutiny to her lap. She twisted the charm bracelet encircling her right wrist, fidgeting aimlessly with the links. “It isn’t the first time your dragon and I…have made love.”
He jerked as if he’d been zapped with a taser. “What?” She had to be either yanking his chain or mighty confused, because there was no way in hell he could have experienced anything remotely resembling what they’d shared outside and not remembered it.
She took her time meeting his stare. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but I’ve dreamt about you almost every night for most of my life.”
Stunned by her words, he sat on the edge of the bed.
“When I was younger the dreams were fun. Fanciful. The older I got, the more sexual the dreams became.”
Some of the fog began to lift from his brain. “The painting in your booth. It’s from one of your dreams?”
A bright pink blush stained her cheeks, providing more than enough answer. He reached for her nearest hand and twined their fingers together. “Did the dreams frighten you?”
“Strangely enough, no. Even the times I ran from you, it wasn’t so much fear propelling me as…”
He waited patiently for her to fill in the missing blank but she only swallowed hard and gazed at their laced fingers. “As what?” he prodded gently.
She lifted their joined hands. “As this. Submitting. Belonging to you. Knowing that even while I despise the idea I hunger for it with every ounce of my soul.”
Her admission swept through him, making the beast within growl in agreement, even while the man disguising the dragon ached at the emotional turmoil reflected in her expression.
“I don’t understand any of this,” she whispered. “Shit, I don’t understand me.”
Hugging her to his chest, he stroked her naked back soothingly. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been a mystery to myself lately too.”
What sounded suspiciously like a sniffle came from Dana before she raised her head and eyed him. “Really? How so?”
He cleared his throat. “For starters, I’ve never allowed the dragon out when I’ve made love before.”
“Never? Not even when you had sex with another dragon?”
His thoughts returned to Jace’s recriminating statement and he sighed in acknowledgement. “Kinky dragon sex isn’t exactly my thing.”
“But you did it with me.” Her forehead wrinkled with her frown. “Do I bring the kinky dragon out of you or something?”
Baby, you have no idea. He traced the soft swell of her lower lip with the tip of his finger. “You’re extremely special.”
“If you keep telling me that, I’m going to get a swelled head.”
He chuckled before rubbing their noses together.
Dana sucked in a breath and released it on a shaky exhale. “I thought only Eskimos kissed like this.”
“They stole the idea from us. When we’re in form, our snouts are very sensitive.”
She pulled back and stared at him in rapt fascination. “Intriguing. They don’t tell you this sort of stuff on the Discovery Channel. What else should I know about your dragon side?”
“Only that he likes you. A lot.” He leaned forward, intending to give her a proper kiss, but Dana turned her head, making his mouth skate across her cheek instead.
“I, uh, should probably throw a top on.” Bouncing off the mattress, she hurtled to the white wicker dresser situated across from the bed.
Unease crawled along his spine again while he watched her dig through the middle drawer. “Dana, you do realize I would never…attack you or anything. Right?”
She wiggled into a blue embroidered peasant top before swiveling in his direction. “Uh-huh.”
To say her answer wasn’t exactly confidence inspiring would be an understatement. He stood and approached her cautiously. “Neither I nor the dragon inside me would do anything to hurt you. Ever.”
Dana stared for a long moment at the carpet beneath her bare feet before raising her head. Profound sadness softened her features. “You’re here to take me away from my home. Away from everything and everyone I love. To be your slave. A possession passed between you and Jace and…whomever else. You think that won’t hurt me?”
His stomach cramped like she’d sucker punched him. “Dana, I don’t want to share you with Jace, much less anyone—”
Her hand shot up, cutting off the remainder of his protestation. “Please don’t try to pretty things up by sugarcoating the reality. I read through the rest of the contract. Quite thoroughly. It made it more than clear exactly what I should expect.”
He frowned. “What are you talking about?”
She turned her back on him again, but not before he noticed the glisten of tears in her eyes. “I’m talking about when you get married.”
If she’d brained him with a two-by-four, he would have been more clearheaded than the shape her announcement left him in. “Do you know something I don’t?”
Knuckling her nose, she turned and speared him with a waspish look. “Did you even read the contract?”
“Yes, I did. But I sure as hell don’t recall the part where I spill any plans about getting married. Not that I have any.”
“You mean to tell me you’re going to be a bachelor dragon for the rest of your life? That doesn’t make any sense. What if you meet someone and fall in love?”
“I already have.” He returned her stare, his heart hammering hard enough to beat a hasty retreat from his chest.
“You…love me.”
“With everything I am.”
A single tear escaped her lashes and rolled down her cheek. “Why are you doing this to me?”
Dana’s question knocked him squarely in the solar plexus, leaving him reeling. He hadn’t expected any heartfelt declaration of love from her in return, but he also hadn’t been prepared for her to be so damn unhappy about his admission.
She scrubbed at the wetness streaking her face, her eyes luminous and accusing. “Do you have any idea how unfair it is throwing that announcement at me?”
He flinched at her angry vehemence. “I thought it’d make you feel better about the situation—give you reassurance that my heart belongs to you.” Resisting the urge to drop to his knees and plead for her to love him, he took a tentative step forward. “Our relationship doesn’t have to be about master and slave. I never wanted that in the first place.”
Sadness remained etched into her features. “What other kind of relationship can we have, Aiden? The contract forbids you marrying me. Would you endure banishment and scorn from your people by snubbing the rules?”
Shit, she hadn’t been joking when she said she read through the contract thoroughly. “I—”
“My question was only rhetorical. I wouldn’t want you to do that anyway.”
He gaped at her, unsure how to navigate the massive minefield lying between them. How pathetic was it that he knew how to command and lead an entire crew of forestry rangers and the widespread Drakoni clan, but he didn’t have a single clue when it came to negotiating the heart of the woman he loved. “What do you want, Dana?”