Phædrus nodded without adding anything.
The reason she came to that bar in Kingston was because she knew I was there. That was no accident, you know, her taking up with you in the bar that night. She saw you were a friend of mine. I tried to warn you but you weren’t listening.
Phædrus remembered now that Lila had asked a lot of questions about Rigel in the bar. That was true.
Then he remembered something else: I was so drunk it’s hard to remember anything that happened, he said, but I vaguely remember one thing. Just as we were crossing the deck of your boat to get to ours I told her to be very quiet, not to make any noise because you were probably sleeping right under the deck. She said, "Where?" and I pointed to the spot and then she picked up her suitcase way up over her head and slammed it down with all her might right on that spot.
I remember that! Rigel said. It was like an explosion!
Why did she do it?
Because I wasn’t having anything more to do with her! Rigel said.
Why was she chasing you?
Oh, that goes back forever.
To the second grade, she said.
Rigel suddenly looked at him with an almost frightened look. Whatever he was so nervous about had something to do with this.
She said she was the only one who was nice to you, Phædrus continued.
That’s not true, Rigel said.
Ahead, overgrown by bushes, was some unidentifiable concrete wreckage, like a modern sculpture growing in weeds. Rusted metal bolts emerged from concrete slabs broken up by goldenrod. It looked like the base of two steel cranes.
She’s different from what she used to be, Rigel said.
You wouldn’t believe it now, but back in grade school Lila Blewitt was the most serene, pleasant-natured girl you could ever meet. That’s why I was so shocked when you said she had "quality." I wondered if you saw something there.
What happened to change her?
I don’t know, Rigel said. I suppose the same thing happens to all of us. She grew up and she discovered the world is not the place we think it is when we are children.
Did you ever have sexual relations with her? Phædrus asked. It was a shot in the dark.
Rigel looked at him with surprise. Then he laughed deprecatingly. Everybody has! he said. You’re no exception in that regard!
Did she become pregnant after that? Phædrus asked.
Rigel shook his head and made a pushing-away motion. No, don’t jump to conclusions like that. That could have been anyone.
They walked on and Phædrus began to feel depressed. This path seemed to go on and on without getting anywhere. We’d better turn around, he said.
He was beginning to feel like the detective at the end of the murder mystery, except that the detective gets a feeling of satisfaction from having finally run some quarry to the ground, and Phædrus wasn’t getting any satisfaction from this at all.
He just really didn’t want to have anything to do with this person any more.
They turned around, and as they walked back Rigel said, There’s still one other question to be taken up.
What’s that?
Lila wants to go back with me.
Now?
Yes.
Where?
To Rochester. I know her family and friends and can get her taken care of.
Taken care of?
Certified.
Oh my God, Phædrus thought. Institutionalized.
A real wave of depression hit.
He just walked for a while, not saying anything because he didn’t want to say anything wrong.
Finally he said, I think that’s an exceptionally poor idea. She’s all right on my boat.
She wants to go back.
Because you talked her into it. Absolutely not!
The last time I talked to her she said she wants to go south, which is where we’re heading.
That isn’t what she wants, Rigel said.
I know what she wants, Phædrus said.
Now Rigel didn’t say anything.
They continued to walk and before long the boats were back in sight again.
Rigel said, I don’t know quite how to tell you this. But you’d better hear it.
Hear what?
Lila said she wants me to take her back to Rochester… He paused. … because you’re trying to kill her.
Phædrus looked at him. This time Rigel looked straight back at him and his nervousness seemed gone. So you see what the problem is, Rigel said.
That’s why I wanted to take this walk with you, Rigel continued. I didn’t expect this when I came down here. I just came to see if everything was all right. But under the circumstances… I rather got you into this… although I certainly tried not to…
I’ll talk to her, Phædrus said.
She’s already transferred her suitcase and other things onto my boat, Rigel said.
Then I’ll talk to her there! Phædrus said.
This was a real disaster coming. But blowing up now would just make it more likely. He got into his dinghy and Rigel let him row ahead. He tied off on his own boat, went aboard, and on the other side crossed over the life-lines to Rigel’s boat before he arrived.
When he looked down below he saw Lila’s poor bruised face looking up at him with a smile. Then the smile disappeared. Maybe she’d thought he was Rigel.
He went down below and sat across from her. Now she looked as nervous as Rigel had been.
Hello, he said.
Hello, she said back.
I hear you want to go back.
She looked down. Guilt. This was the first time he had ever seen her look guilty.
He said, I think that’s a very bad mistake.
She still looked down.
Why are you going back?
Lila looked up and then finally said, I wanted to go with you. You don’t know how bad. But now I’ve changed my mind. There are a lot of things I want to do first.
Phædrus said, There’s nothing but trouble waiting for you back there.
I know that, but they need me.
Who?