I already told you before I started asking all these questions, he said.
She’s dead.
How did she die? he asked.
I killed her, she said.
She watched his eyes. She didn’t like them. He looked mean.
You mean accidentally, he said.
I didn’t cover her right and she smothered, Lila said. That was long ago.
Nobody blamed you though.
Nobody had to. What could they say… that I didn’t already know?
Lila remembered she still had the black funeral dress. She remembered she had to wear it three times that year. There were hundreds of people who came to her grandfather’s funeral because he was a minister and lots of Jerry’s friends came to his funeral, but nobody came for Dawn.
Don’t get me started thinking about that, she said.
She sat back in the berth for the first time and stopped eating. Ask some other questions, she said, like, how long will it take to get to Florida?
So you never married again, the Captain said.
No! God, no. Never! I would never do that again.
These people who get married, she said. It’s the cheapest trick on a person there is. You’re supposed to give up all your freedom and everything just for sex every night. That doesn’t make them happy. They’re just always looking around for some way out. Don’t you want some more of these French fries?
I just want to be free, she said. That’s what America’s about, isn’t it?
The Captain took some French fries and she got up and took her plate over to the cutting board and took the rest of the French fries and put them on her plate. Give me your glass, she said.
He gave it to her and she lifted the lid of the icebox and scooped some more ice into it. She added mix and booze and then filled her own glass. She saw the booze was halfway down the label already, when she heard a CLUNK! It was against the side of the boat.
Now what? she said.
The Captain shook his head. He said, Maybe a big branch or something. He got up and went past her and up on deck and she felt the boat tip a little as his footsteps went over to the side.
What is it? she said.
It’s the dinghy.
After a while he said, It’s never done that before… Come on up and help me put some fenders down and tie it alongside. We’ll bring it up in the morning.
She came up and watched him take two big rubber fenders and tie them to the rail so that they dangled over the side. He went over to the other side of the deck and came back with a long boat hook. She stood next to him while he reached out with the hook and brought the dinghy up against the side of the boat.
Hold it there, he said, and gave her the boat hook.
He went to a big box by the mast and opened it and took out a rope and then came back. He dropped the rope into the dinghy and then stepped and lowered himself down over the guard rail.
She looked around. It was so quiet here. Just the rolling of the cars across the bridge. The sky was still all orange from the light from the city but it was so peaceful you would never guess where they were.
When he was done the Captain grabbed the guard rail and pulled himself up again.
I figured it out, he said. It’s because the tide is changing… This is the first time I’ve seen this… Look around at all the other boats. You remember when we came they were all pointed toward the bridge? Now they’re all skewed around.
She looked and saw that all the boats were facing in different directions.
They’ll probably all be pointing away from the bridge after a while, he said. It’s warm enough out — let’s sit up here and watch it. I’m sort of fascinated by this, he said.
Lila brought up the bottles and ice and some sweaters and a blanket to put over them. She sat next to him and put the blanket over their legs together. Listen to how quiet it is, she said. It’s hard to believe we’re this close to New York.
They listened for a long time.
What are you going to do when you get to Manhattan? the Captain asked.
I’m going to find a friend of mine and see if he can help me, she said.
What if you can’t find him?
I don’t know. I could do a lot of things. Get a job waitressing or something like that… She looked at him but couldn’t see how he took it.
Who is this person you’re going to see in New York?
Jamie? He’s just an old friend.
How long have you known him?
Oh, two or three years, she said.
In New York?
Yes.
So you’ve lived there a long time?
Not so long, Lila said. I always liked it there. You can be anyone you want in New York and nobody will stop you.
She suddenly thought of something. You know what? she said, I bet you’d like him. You’d get along fine with him. He’s a sailor too. He worked on a ship once.
You know what? Lila said. He could, help us sail the boat to Florida… If you wanted to, I mean… I mean I could cook and he could steer and you could… well, you could give all the orders.
The Captain stared into his glass.
Just think about it, Lila said. Just the three of us going down to Florida.
After a while she said, He’s really friendly. Everybody likes him.
She waited a long time but the Captain didn’t answer. She said, If I could talk him into it would you take him?
I don’t think so, the Captain said. Three’s too many.
That’s because you haven’t met him, Lila said.
She took the Captain’s glass and filled it again and snuggled up to him to keep warm. He just wasn’t used to the idea.
Give him some time, she thought.
The cars rolled over the bridge one after another. Bright headlights went in one direction and red tail lights went in the other, on and on.
You remind me of someone, Lila said. Someone I remember from a long time ago.
Who?
I can’t remember… What did you do in high school?
Not much, he said.
Were you popular?
No.
You were unpopular?