Some words in Hebrew on a wall. Napoli Pizza. Franklin Cleaners. Since 1973… Police Line. Do Not Cross Blue Lines. Police Department… A lot of barbed wire on the buildings. There didn’t used to be all that barbed wire on the buildings. There didn’t used to be all that barbed wire.
There is a guy lying on the sidewalk. Some people are walking by him without looking at him…
Personal Touch. Fine Laundering And Dry Cleaning. Hotels, Hospitals and Clubs… Athens Plumbing and Heating… Hilarious Non-Stop Laughter. I Couldn’t Stop Laughing — McGillicudy, New York Times. Winner Tony Award.
Lots of plastic bags were lying around… One Way… They never tell you what you want they only tell you what they want…
These shoes hurt. This street was getting worse. Sidewalks were coming apart here. They’re all broken and slanting so that if she didn’t watch out she’d turn an ankle. She could fall on all that broken glass. The glass was from an empty window where it looked like somebody had tried to break in.
It was beginning to get cold.
She should be doing something different than this. What was she doing here? Something was wrong that she should be living like this. She should be somewhere better.
She crossed a street and when she looked down it, it looked like there was water down there. That must be the river, she thought.
She decided to get a cab. She still had to get to the boat and get her suitcase off before it got dark. It was too far to walk. Already her legs felt worn out. She hadn’t walked this far in a long time. A cab would cost a lot but there wasn’t anything else to do. If only she hadn’t bought these dumb shirts.
But when she came to a corner she saw a restaurant sign down across the street at the other end of the block. That looked really good. She could rest and get something to eat and call a cab from there.
When she looked through the restaurant window she saw that the menu was expensive. The tables inside had cloths on them and cloth napkins.
Oh, what the hell, she thought. It was time to celebrate something. Being through with the Captain, maybe.
Inside it wasn’t crowded. A little old lady waitress was laying out napkins on the other side of the room. She saw Lila and gave her a little smile and came over slowly and showed her to a table by the window.
At the table Lila sat down. It felt really good to sit down.
The waitress asked her if she would care for anything to drink before eating.
I’ll have a scotch and soda, Lila said. No, make that a Johnnie Walker Black and soda, she smiled. The waitress didn’t seem to have much expression. She went off to the bar.
The street out the window looked like some of the streets in Rochester. It was old, without many people on it. In some dirt by the gutter under an old fire escape a cat walked slowly, looking for something. It pawed the dirt first to one side and then to the other. It couldn’t seem to find what it was looking for.
Lila still had her old address book. She could call up some old friends and maybe they would invite her over and they could talk about things. She could call them up and maybe they would be able to tell her where she could find a good room. They might even let her stay with them for a while. You could never tell.
She saw through the window that across the street the cat was gone.
The trouble with seeing all her old friends again was that she didn’t want to. It didn’t feel good to think about it. She didn’t want to talk to any of them. She wanted to be done with all that. She didn’t want to talk to anybody.
When the waitress came with the drink Lila gave her a big smile and a big thank you. The waitress smiled a little and then went away.
Lila took a sip of her drink. Oh, did that ever taste good!
She looked at the menu to see what to have to eat.
She ought to just get something cheap. The trouble was she was really hungry. Those steaks really looked good. And French fries. With all the calories. She had better be careful. She didn’t want to get into that. She already had too much of that. But it sure sounded good, anyway. She remembered the French fries she made on the boat. Oh, why did she ever tell him anything? She could be making French fries all the way down to Florida if only she had kept her mouth shut.
As she thought about this Lila saw a man’s face staring at her through the window. It startled her for a second. But then she thought, what’s the matter, Lila, you getting scared of men?
He wasn’t bad looking.
She smiled at him…
…He just looked at her. Then he looked away.
Then he looked at her again.
She winked to see what that would do.
He smiled a little bit and then pretended he was reading the menu in the window. She stared down at her own menu but watched out of the corner of her eye.
After a while he moved on. She waited to hear the door open, but it didn’t. He was gone.
She wondered if she said something that made Jamie angry. He was so different this time. Something was wrong. Something had happened to him, and that was why he wouldn’t give his address. He was the kind who didn’t tell you. He didn’t want to hurt your feelings. That was the way he was.
The Captain wouldn’t know anything about that. People like him never do. They just get it off and think they’ve done something big. That’s all they know how to do. That’s why they have to pay. You try to show them something and you just waste your time. They don’t know what you’re doing. The Captain never knew what she tried to do for him. That nerd never would. He probably wouldn’t even pay for the shirts.
She had to stop thinking about him.
The waitress came to take her order but Lila still hadn’t made up her mind. I guess I’m not ready yet, she said. She looked inside her glass. Why don’t you bring me another one of these?
She didn’t want to get boozy, she still had a lot of things to do, but this really felt good. It would be a long time until the next one, she thought.
She didn’t know what she would do next. It seemed like she’d done it all. She didn’t have as much strength any more, or something. She was tired.
Out the window she could see the street was already starting to get old and gray and dark. She wondered where the cat went to that was prowling in the dirt across the street.
She didn’t like the dark.
In Rochester it was even darker, she thought.
Maybe she could just go back to Rochester and get a regular job.
She couldn’t go back. They all hated her there. That’s why they fired her. Because she told them the truth.
Everybody wants to turn you into a servant. And when you won’t be a servant for them then you’re no good. Then you’re bad. No matter how hard you try to please them you’re still no good. You can never serve them enough. They’ve always got to have more. So it doesn’t matter; sooner or later they’re going to hate you no matter what you do.
She shouldn’t have left the Karma. If she just hadn’t got mad at George she’d still be there. On her way to Florida now. In Florida it was lighter. Because it was South. She sure had some happy times there. She’d still get there, but now she’d have to get some money first.
Maybe she could just go and tell the Captain she was sorry and he’d change his mind. She didn’t want to do that. Then she’d have to put up with his nerd talk all the way to Florida. She didn’t want to do that. Besides he already told her she had to get off his boat.